2012 In the Books

A few of my personal highlights from the past year....

In January we rescued a purebred black and tan dachshund named "Jax" but in keeping with the family tradition (Angie, Annabelle and Andy) we renamed him Ajax.  He is the perfect companion for my Angie - calm, sweet, gentle and the biggest lovebug.  Ajax is most certainly a Daddy's boy and is incredibly protective of Natalie....and he also puts up with her shenanigans.  The other day I walked into the playroom and Ajax was sitting patiently on the couch while Natalie "fed" him with a spoon from a saucer that belongs to her play kitchen.  He has been the most perfect blessing to our family.

Natalie turned one on March 8th and we had a small family oriented "St. Patty's Day" themed birthday party to celebrate.  It wasn't just a party honoring our little girl, but also a momentous achievement for Craig and myself - we survived the first year as parents.  I SURVIVED the first year as a mother.

And with any momentous occasion, it had to be documented and we bravely decided to take family pictures with Natalie and the two pups.

We did have my mother on hand to corral Angie, Ajax, Natalie......or Craig......depending on who was acting up at any point in time.

I swam through mud and jumped over fire........after running three miles.

I allowed my picture to be taken looking like this.

In April my sister-in-law (named Laura as well) and I completed the Warrior Dash together.  We made a good team - she was great on the obstacles while I was the runner.  We had some great chats along the way and encouraged each other the entire time.  It was a milestone for me because it felt like some sort of "reclamation" of my former self.  Even though I am Natalie's mother I am still ME and can do fun (and challenging) things.

Summer vacation this year was MUCH more fun than in 2011 when Natalie was an infant.  She was on a specific schedule and able to go and do lots of exciting things. 

 Somewhere along the way, she also developed a personality.

We discovered her love of the aquarium.....or maybe it was just her parent's love of air conditioning?!

We took our very first REAL vacation to San Antonio with some friends who have a daughter close in age to Natalie.  We hit up Sea World two days in a row and stayed a great resort that was hidden in the hills surrounding the city.

Happy to be on vacation and enjoying our little family.

The fall brought our annual trip to the State Fair and this year my parents joined us.  We were lucky enough to see Big Tex before the inferno.

This picture was taken on Halloween and it was the first time I saw the BIG girl that Natalie was quickly becoming.  Perhaps it's the way I dressed her....or maybe it's her body language but I realized at this point that we were rapidly exiting the baby stage and hurtling towards little girl-dom.

And the things that weren't photographed.....

Craig and I had a rough fall....there's no doubt about that.  Between a spontaneous, Natalie induced house remodel and numerous illnesses which culminated in an emergency surgery, there was a lot of stress that could have ignited some pretty intense fights.  But we buckled down and drew upon what is our greatest strength as a couple - our ability to function and work as a team.

I had a FABULOUS group of both 7th and 8th grade athletes this fall.  My seventh graders came to me with LOTS of previous volleyball knowledge and we were able to upset a few teams...namely my old school!  My eighth grade girls might not be the most technically proficient volleyball players but they are RUNNERS and despite a nasty flu virus eliminating two of our best runners, my girls were still able to hang onto a second place finish (out of fifteen schools) in the district cross country meet.

And in between all the BIG events were the seemingly inconsequential moments....the times we were just sitting around our house watching Natalie develop the ability to create and imagine.  Or seeing her relationship with her grandparents, aunts, uncles and other family friends blossom and grow - she is so genuinely excited to visit and play with all our loved ones.

Craig and I were also able to introduce Natalie to our love of all sporting events - from teaching her how to cheer on the swimming and track events during the Olympics to watching her run around the gym during volleyball practice while trying to shag all the balls.  She has developed into such a well-rounded little girl - she is equally excited about playing babies as she is throwing the ball around or playing with her cars and trains.  Reminds me of another little girl I used to know.

Because of Natalie's interest in flushing paper down the toilet, Craig and I got a spontaneous remodel on our living room and several rooms upstairs.  Of course she chose the best timing and did the damage during the first week of school, right smack dab in the middle of volleyball try-outs.  As most things do, it turned out to be a great blessing in disguise seeing as how I ended up being able to completely redecorate our living room which I had been yearning to do for some time.

And some of my favorite posts from the past year.

On all the parenting advice you might get.....but the only one that REALLY matters.

I reminisced and paid homage to one of the greatest influences in my life - my grandma.

Here's where I got seriously fed up with the supposed "Mommy Wars."

I tried to eliminate the word "perfect" from my vernacular.

A little light was shed into the heart of the struggle that comes along with PPD.

A whole lot of healing took place.

But sometimes that Mommy Guilt still got the best of me.

I became completely enamored with and fascinated by my daughter.

That one time when I cleaned out my closet and burst into tears.

Or that other time when I shut myself off from social media (and totally loved it).

And then there was that time when Natalie almost destroyed our house.

My husband showed true bravery.

I watched my little girl while she watched the world.....and I also learned the peace that is brought with slowing down.

Kids can do things.  Kids SHOULD do things.

Another year in the record books and a year in the life of La La blogged onto the interwebs.

Resolutions

I usually don't make New Years resolutions because I think the whole New Years Eve hoopla is kind of overrated. For example...this year I was asleep by 11:00, and not upset about it in the least. Most of the big and exciting plans I've ever had for New Years Eve never really live up to my grand expectations. And I also think that the older and farther removed I get from the "party" lifestyle, the more annoyed I am at the idea of New Years Eve.

Anyways.

This year I've found myself subconciously making "resolutions" for the new year and hopefully I'll be able to make these stick because I can already tell that I feel better about life in general.

1. Make grocery lists. I absolutely detest going to the grocery store and I think it's because I hate being disorganized and not having a clear plan in life. Since school has started Craig and I do our grocery shopping for the week on Sunday evenings and they have typically consisted of us drifting around the grocery store and not really knowing what we wanted to eat...other than his meals for lunch. Therefore that led to a lot of nights eating at restaurants and grabbing fast food which isn't healthy for Craig, myself, Natalie or our budget. Now that I am completely done coaching for the year since both volleyball and cross country are over, I have more free time after school since I leave work at 4:15. I am determined to plan out our dinners according to the nights we'll be at home (obviously working around Craig's basektball schedule) so that I have a clear list of items that I need to purchase at the grocery store on our Sunday night trips. I also hate getting home from the grocery store and then remembering that we need detergent or shampoo or whatever else I forgot to get because I didn't make a list. Growing up in my house I can still remember telling my mom that I was running out of shampoo or toothpaste or something similar and all she would tell me was "put it on the list or it won't get bought." The Nelson household now has a pad of paper on the side of the fridge and when I realize that we're almost out of something, I write it down on that list so that I can purchase it the next time I am at the grocery store. Hopefully this resolution will make our dinners and bodies healthier and trips to the grocery store more organized and less dreadful.

2. Acknowledge and accept my limitations. Maybe it's from my years of playing basketball and being part of a "team," but I am a "just get it done" type of person. If no one else is willing to step up, I will take care of it. In doing so, I sometimes get in the habit of trying to be everything to every person or organization that I encounter. I over-commit myself and beat myself up when I can't attend all the functions that I would like. Not only is this harmful to my own personal well being, but with a new little baby girl on the way there are going to be things that come up in my future that I just won't be able to do or attend. I have to know when to say no and how to pick the events or activities that are important and should have a space on my calendar. This resolution isn't just confined to myself but stretches out to include Craig as well - I need to allow him to have his own personal events on the calendar but as a couple we have to know how much is too much and how to peacefully compromise on certain events.

3. Read more books and watch less television. I watch crappy tv. The Real Housewives series, as entertaining as it might be...is not making me a better person. All the true life crime shows that I watch just give me nightmares. So last night since there was nothing that I wanted to watch, I curled up on my bed and read three chapters in a book that my mother gave me for Christmas. And I felt relaxed, cozy and comfortable. It was 8:30 and I could have closed that book and drifted off to sleep right away. So my goal is to turn off the noise on the television and pick up a book off my nightstand instead. I'm sure that after Natalie arrives, I will relish the silent and still moments that I have when she is sleeping and I think that reading a book will nourish my soul more than watching catty women duke it out on Bravo.

4. Walk Angie at least three times a week. Poor baby...she has no idea what is heading her way once this baby arrives. I know that I love my daughter and the love for Natalie once I hold her and know her will be greater than anything that I have ever experienced. But Angie is still an important member of our family. She's the one that was by my side in the bathroom every time I threw up this fall and no matter how old she gets, I know that she will always be willing to cuddle with her momma. I know that her life and status in our family will change, as it should with the birth of a baby, but I want to still value Angie as a member of our family. Taking her for walks (with or without Natalie) can only do her good both physically and mentally, as was noticed in her comprehensive exam last week - she's lost three pounds and her weight is considered ideal!

Those are the four big "resolutions" that have been floating around in my head lately...the ones that I have noticed to already have impacted my life in a positive way. I don't feel like they are "rules" that I have to live by like setting up a new diet or something similar, but instead installing a new way of life so that I can create a better and healthier environment for myself, Craig, Natalie and Angie to live in.

The Final Countdown

In the grand tradition that is year-end countdowns, I'll enter my own into the arena.

Top 5 Things in 2009:
1. Getting engaged in January: Obviously this was a life changing event that was thrilling and exciting...but also terrifying and full of anxiety. My first 24 hours as a bride-to-be were spent in panic attacks over the thought of planning a wedding and being a bridezilla.

2. Adopting Angie in June: I knew I wanted a dog, but I didn't know how much I needed one until Angie arrived in our home on the 20th. Since then she's become my constant companion and one of my favorite topics to talk about.

3. Bahamas Trip in July: It wasn't any important milestone in my life, but it was a wonderful vacation for us...we really enjoyed being able to relax on the beach and not worry about anything. It was also my first time being away from Angie and I do remember having a huge phone bill the month after due to my frequent phone calls to check up on my furry daughter.

4. Becoming a head coach (but more importantly...beating my old school): Winning against MMS during volleyball season (with BOTH my 7th and 8th grade teams) was a huge personal victory because my team was definitely the underdogs but with my careful and strategic coaching, I was able to pull out the win. Even more so than the win for myself, seeing the pride and satisfaction in my players (especially my wonderful 8th graders) was so fulfilling...I was proud to give them confidence in themselves.

5. Hosting Thanksgiving at our house: Because our immediate families attending Thanksgiving this year was so small, we combined our Thanksgiving celebration and my parents, Craig's mom, Mema and sister all came over to our house around noon on Turkey Day. I was proud to have a beautiful house with plenty of room and space to accomodate all the food and beverages. It was my first time hosting an important family get-together and pulling things off without a hitch was a personal milestone.

A Few Not So Great Things in 2009:
1. Changing schools: Due to the fact that Craig and I are getting married, one of us had to leave the school that we both taught at and unfortunately, I drew the short end of the stick. Although the prospect of becoming a head coach and running my own program was exciting, leaving all my wonderful friends at my previous school was not. The first semester of school was difficult because of this...especially on those days when I just needed to hang out with people who knew me and understood me and didn't mind if I vented a bit to them.

2. Wedding planning: I know...this should probably be one of the five top things, right? As much as I am looking forward to being Craig's wife for the rest of my life, weddings in general do not excite me. I have never particulary enjoyed throwing parties because I'm always worried if people are going to get along and enjoy themselves...multiple that feeling by one thousand and that's how I feel planning the biggest party of them all. I also have a hard time asking things from people (like my bridesmaids or my parents) because I don't like people doing things for me and neither do I want to be the dreaded "bridezilla."

3. Volleyball season: It was my first volleyball season as head coach, my first season without my fearless coaching leader Beri and my first season with a losing record. As much as I enjoy the sport and the kids it was very draining on my physically and emotionally. There were many nights spent sitting at the dining room table discussing the philosophy of middle school coaching and how exactly to rebuild the volleyball program at my new school. It was a humbling experience to walk away from loss after loss wondering what I could do better and trying to keep spirits high and motivated for my players.

4. General frustration the mid-20s angst: Over the past couple of years I have seen myself change from the perpetual party girl to the settled suburbanite and there are several emotions tied to that change. Sometimes I still feel a loss of a part of my personality...I picture a girl that was the life of the party in my head. I was skinny, fashionable and what I thought to be fabulous. I had a flashy and sporty car and had a pair of heels for every occasion. But then just when I'm getting a little misty-eyed missing that girl and that lifestyle, I remember that this same fabulous girl struggled with an eating disorder and slight drinking problem and frequently made poor choices in men and in life. After putting together the full picture of my post college experience, my mood quickly shifts from wistfullness to regret and shame. Looking around at my suburban life with my 3 bedroom house complete with pool, dog and SUV... I often wonder how did I get here? And how do I reconcile who I was and what I did with who I am and what I want to be...

Looking Ahead to 2010:
1. Duh...I'm getting married in March: But more importantly than that, I am looking forward to being Craig's wife. Just the other day I was telling him how next summer at his big basketball tournament, he won't introduce me as his fiance...but instead as his wife. We both got big grins on our faces.

2. Europe in August: At his families Christmas celebration, the last present was for me and inside of this yhuge box were different numbered packages that I had to open in a certain order. The first three packages were travel guides to Paris, Italy and Germany. The second two packages were concert tickets to see U2 in Frankfurt, Germany and Torino, Italy. The third was an envelope containing an itinerary for us to travel through Italy, Germany and France next summer during the first two weeks of August. I cried. A lot.

New Year's Eve

I'm not a big fan of New Year's Eves. I think that most of the time there is a big build up to the big night which never turns out as fantastically or fabulously as previously desired or thought. That's why, this year, I am going to have a low key night out with my friends Kate and Karl. They're one of my favorite married couples who I have spent countless Saturday nights recently drinking on the couches at The Flying Saucer contemplating and discussing the important things in life - like Kate being a "meddler," poor decision making between members of a wedding party, as well as how I really need to find a man in order to have a child at the same time as Kate (which is in approximately 3.5 years).

Anyways. You can currently turn on any channel and there will be some sort of year end countdown, my personal favorite being VH1's The Best Year Ever. I'll do my own personal countdown of highlights and things I'd rather forget.

Highlights:
1. Planning and going on my EuroTrip. It really taught me to rely on myself and my instincts. Plus, the beer was really good.
2. Learning to wakeboard. Finally - something physically challenging combined with a chance to drink beer and get a tan all at the same time!
3. My 24th birthday party at the Aqua Lounge. Even though it put me back 650 dollars, it was definitely worth it to feel like one of those girls on My Super Sweet Sixteen for a night.
4. Jennifer and Zach's wedding in North Carolina. A getaway weekend spent in a beautiful part of the country rekindling friendships with people that I have missed very much for too long.
5. Being nominated and a finalist for my school district's New Teacher of the Year. I didn't win, so maybe this should be something that I'd rather forget, but I"m going to go ahead and put it on this list. After all, it's been more than 6 months since I lost the title - it's time to move on.
6. My brother coming home from Maine for a weekend. He stopped by my apartment and got to see his grown-up little sister.
7. Winning the district volleyball championship with the Feister (her nickname now). We make a great coaching team because our personalities compliment each other and we're very good friends. I'm really blessed with the people that I work with.
8. Buying brand new couches for my apartment, even though they won't be in until January 16th and I ordered them before Thanksgiving. Ugh. Oh well. I have worked hard in the past year to really make my apartment into more of a home than just a building that I live in. The couches are the final touch.
9. Kate moving back to Texas. She and I haven't lived in the same area since we were in 4th grade, but since she's moved back, it's like she never left in the first place!
10. This blog. It started off as a little joke and a semi-experiment and it's really turned into a way for me to get things off my chest as well as forced me to examine the relationship patterns in my life. I'm not sure if it has helped change anything....but there's always next year!

Things I'd Rather Forget:
1. All the random and worthless guys I dated or hung out with at the beginning of the year, which ultimately forced me to begin this blog.
2. The morning after Kate and Karl's wedding - pain pills and wine do NOT mix well!!!
3. The $650 I actually did have to pay Travis in cash for my portion of our birthday party bill.
4. Thanksgiving Break. It wasn't a good week for me personally and I made the holiday miserable for my family.
5. Tearing a muscle in my back wakeboarding. Not only did it put me out of service physically for a month, but it was the beginning of me seeing the very ugly and self-absorbed side of The Salesman.
6. On that note, let's discuss The Salesman in general. Was it a bad idea to date him? Eh...I'm not sure I would go that far. Was it a bad idea to date him sooo quickly? Probably. Did it end the 10 year friendship I had with his high school girlfriend and best friend of mine? Yes, it did. And to tell you the truth, I'm really not sure if that was such a bad thing after all. At the time, I was devastated - I truly didn't want to hurt her. But now, looking back, maybe there were things about our friendship that really bothered me and made me feel bad about myself. And if it took that whole episode with The Salesman to get our honest and true feelings towards each other out in the open, then so be it.

I guess that's it for the Things I'd Like To Forget. Only 6 items. Not too shabby. I guess it wasn't that bad of a year after all.

And I do feel like I'm in a place in my life to make 2008 even better. Happy New Year everyone!!!