Down the Tube

Friday morning started with the alarm going off at 5:30 so that Craig and I could Natalie up to the children's surgery center by 6:20 for her tubes to be inserted into her ears.

And did you know that in my little town, there is still a line at Starbucks at 5:55 in the morning?!

And did you also know that there are people in this world that are completely made up with high heel boots, make-up and curled hair at 6:20?!

Regardless...we had a pretty uneventful morning.  I suppose things went according to plan - we checked in, were admitted, she drank her goofy juice and off she went.  The procedure took less than ten minutes and she was back in our arms and ANGRY.  And wanting ONLY Daddy and definitely NOT Momma

Reading FOX in the waiting room before the procedure.....in her new Santa pajamas.

Friday night was rough - the antibiotic ear drops that are required for the next few days burn her ears and she has a hard time calming down from receiving them.  She wasn't asleep in bed for much more than an hour before she was up and crying in her crib for "Dada."  I figured it was the start of a pattern so I just pulled her into bed with me and I slept on six inches of the mattress while she had the rest of our king size bed. Ajax taking good care of his patient. And now on Sunday afternoon she is more or less back to normal.  Still not a big fan of the ear drops, but she is running around the house, eating big meals and not crying over the littlest of frustrations. And she slept through the night last night.   Here's to hoping it continues.

"Ear" We Are...

There is an epidemic of pregnancy hitting my Facebook feed. It's attacking with more fury than "wedding fever," which of course makes it harder to resist.

It looks like so much fun...charting how big the baby is getting and taking belly pictures every week. I should get on the bandwagon and give Natalie a sibling, right?!

Nope.

Not after the last four weeks.

Craig and I have not slept through the night since before Thanksgiving.

Things are getting desperate up in here y'all.

I know, I know. I've had a newborn on the every three hours feeding schedule. This nighttime song and dance should be old hat by now.

But the thing is...we've come so damn far from her newborn days. September and October were filled with full nights and late mornings. I could stay up and watch Jon Stewart and not go to sleep with a sense of dread filling up my body because I KNOW that I will be up in just a few short hours. It's almost like we've tasted the parental promise land but now we have been shoved back into exhaustion exile.

Help is hopefully on the way though.

Natalie has an appointment with a pediatric ENT in the morning. The little miss has the propensity for ear infections and we have been battling the same one for close to a full month. After a few rounds with that antibiotic and this antibiotic we are looking at the long-term solution of getting tubes in her ears.

According to others, I should be a nervous wreck because it's SURGERY and ANESTHESIA and it's my BABY.

But I'm not nervous or scared or even very worried.

Because quite frankly, I just want to sleep.

And I trust doctors, modern medicine and above all....I trust in God. Freaking out will not do me or Natalie any good. She takes her social cues from me and Craig, so if I act like it ain't no big thang, she will hopefully stay calm and be brave.

Wish us luck!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Out of Commission

For once, I've got the time (summer vacation), little to no distractions (Natalie is with my parents) and tons of great blog posts saved as drafts that are ready for me to complete. Time to get down and dirty with thinking, writing and publishing, right?

Nope.

Because THIS happened this morning.


I've been wrestling with a cyst on my hand since late February. I had it drained in April but it came back pretty quick so Craig a I decided to just get it cut out of my hand. This morning Natalie, Craig and I met my parents at a local surgery center and after a short 45 minute procedure...my hand was bandaged and we were on our way home! Natalie is staying with my parents tonight and they'll bring her back tomorrow afternoon and my mother in law is bringing a delicious roast beef to us for dinner since I'm obviously not cooking.

I chose to have a local anesthetic with a bit of sedation so I actually slept through it all. The pain hasn't been too bad but its starting to ramp up as the numbing medicine runs out. It wasn't a life or death surgery but the cyst was very painful...hurt to touch or grab things and excruciating when I dove for a volleyball and landed on it. In the past week as it got larger and larger, my hand hurt like I had a bad case of arthritis and I was taking lots of Advil and even some Vicodin to go to sleep.

Needless to say, I'm glad I got it removed because it was painful and annoying. I've got two great four legged nurses laying right by my side just in case I need to "rehab" my hand by petting them. Ha! Anyways. Hopefully by early next week I will be back to the blogging/typing world. I've got lots to talk about....an update on Natalie's doctors visits and her first "gymnastics" class!


In the meantime....I'm going to catch up on all my DVR and maybe work my way through some Harry Potter movies!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Hospital Stay

Craig and I have been in and out of hospitals over the course of the past few days trying to figure out what exactly is causing the redness, swelling and tenderness in his left knee, right around the surgery site. He had been doing so well with his physical therapy and was beginning to see the end of the knee pain tunnel this sudden onset of symptoms really threw him for a loop.

Long story short, he spent Friday night in the hospital running all sorts of tests trying to figure out if there was any kind of infection or blood clot in his leg and eventually all the signs pointed towards "cellulitis" which is a sort of bacterial infection in his knee. We were sent home from the hospital on Saturday armed with antibiotics and pain medication with a follow-up appointment scheduled for yesterday (Monday) morning.

Unfortunately, Monday morning's meeting with the knee surgeon did not yield good results and Craig was sent onto an internal medicine doctor who could better treat Craig's illness. This particular doctor told Craig that he needed to be admitted to the hospital for at least two days in order to recieve copious amounts of antibiotics through an IV in order to treat his cellulitis. Craig's family and I met him in the ER where he was being seen by the ER doctor as well as the internal medicine doctor that was on-call.

As we all probably know, the emergency room is not known for it's quickness and at 10:30, after sitting in the room for almost four hours...Craig and I were getting antsy and angry. A doctor came in and told us that he and this other specialist had reviewed all of Craig's tests and they decided that the best course of action would be to send us home with some stronger antibiotics. Needless to say, we were both upset, angry and most of all confused. Not that I didn't want to sleep in my own bed and cuddle with my puppy that night, but we were both under the impression that Craig's condition was serious and needed to be treated in a hospital. This doctor did not have very good bedside manners and after a tense discussion promptly left our room promising to send the other doctor to see us and answer our questions. To which I answered "when will that be...after ANOTHER two hours of waiting?" I was getting frustrated for Craig - he was sitting on this uncomfortable bed without any of the medicine in his system that this doctor was saying he needed.

We waited a bit longer and then I knew I had to make a decision. Neither of our mother's were there to take control of the situation and as his wife, I knew it was up to me to fight for the care and answers that Craig deserved. I ventured into the hallway and down to the nurse's station where I found our good-natured nurse, Greg. He and I discussed what was going on and he helped me to better understand the nature of healthcare politics...basically the doctor Craig saw in the afternoon did not have the jurisdiction to automatically place Craig in the hospital, but instead had to refer him to the ER hospital doctors to look over and then reevaluate. That was the crucial bit of information that we needed to hear. I asked to speak with the other doctor and told Greg that regardless of whether we were going to be admitted to the hospital or sent home, things needed to move quickly because we're both tired and more importantly...Craig doesn't feel good and he's getting angry.

Shortly thereafter, the ER internal medicine specialist doctor came in and she was truly an angel. She didn't look that much older than me and she plopped herself in the rolling chair and began going through Craig's knee history with him from the very beginning with the surgery in April. She listened to everything he had to say and asked important questions about the onset of his symptoms and the tests that had been run the previous weekend. After Craig said his piece she went step by step through the hospital procedures (diagnosis, admittance etc) as well as thoroughly described the illness that is afflicting Craig at this point in time. She answered all our questions and listened diplomatically as well as compassionately to our frustrations. At no point in time was she condescending or rude and she always made sure to affirm the fact that Craig was in fact, in pain and very ill. She just had a way of calming him down and reassuring us that sending us home with stronger antibiotics would, in fact, be the best course of action at this time. Again...not that we didn't want to go home, we had just been led to believe that Craig's situation was very poor and needed the immediate and intense type of care that only a hospital could provide. In the end I felt like hugging her around the neck, but instead opted for a handshake and a heartfelt "thank you." Craig got loaded up on antibiotics and pain meds and we hit the road to come back home.

We are grateful to be able to take care of his sickness at home and he will be staying home from school for the rest of the week in order to give his body the time it needs to heal itself. I am so glad that all my prayers were answered and through all of this, I truly feel closer to Craig. I also am really proud of the fact that I was able to step up and calmly but firmly make my feelings heard and get the things necessary for Craig's health accomplished.

And on a side note, we got our sod laid down today...we now have a gorgeous and green front yard!

Craig's Knee Surgery

Craig had his knee surgery last Thursday and it was a two hour surgery, but Dr. Moore seemed to be a lot more confident that he "got it" this time so hopefully the surgery will hold and we'll be able go longer between knee surgeries! Dr. Moore went in arthoscopically through the previous surgery holes and cleaned up a lot of the loose cartilage in Craig's knee, but while he was in there he realized that there was a large part of his medial meniscus that was breaking loose which was causing the popping and locking that Craig has been experiencing. Before the surgery, Craig met with Dr. Moore and clarified that we wanted to FIX the problem and that we trusted the doctor to do whatever was necessary to get that accomplished. During surgery, Dr. Moore made the decision to cut into the inner side of Craig's knee and through that incision was able to suture some cartilage on the sides of the medial meniscus which should hold it in place and stop the locking and popping thus giving Craig better mobility.

Unfortunately these sutures will cause Craig to have a longer recovery time and more intense physical therapy and for the time being he is stuck in a big blue brace that stretches from his groin all the way to his ankle. He is in this cast because if he bends his knee too far too soon he can risk breaking the sutures apart which would not only be painful, but also cause us to go through this knee surgery nightmare for a fourth time in a single year.

Speaking of which, I'm doing...okay. Thanks for asking. I was able to just take an afternoon off on Thursday so I didn't miss too much school and we were blessed by being able to schedule the surgery the day before a three day weekend so that we didn't have to use our few remaining paid days off. I planned ahead (surprise, surprise) and had all the ingredients needed for some of Craig's favorite meals.

Thursday: Taco soup with cornbread
Friday: Lasagna and lemon garlic broccoli
Saturday: BBQ chicken sandwiches and homemade potato salad
Sunday: Easter dinner comprised of...ham, oven baked onion potatoes, broccoli cheese casserole, sweet potatoes and pineapple au gratin

We have a TON of leftovers sitting in our refrigerator which is great because now we have lunches for the entire week! Generally speaking though...I'm exhausted. Physically and mentally exhausted. I was on my feet for what felt like the entire weekend between refilling iced tea glasses, changing out the ice machine, cooking and serving dinners and managing laundry and dishes.

Craig is doing much better - he is alert and moving more on his own. My parents came over tonight to visit Craig but to also help me get Craig up the stairs so that he could take a proper shower. I don't feel comfortable getting Craig up and down the stairs for the first time by myself - I like having my dad around to catch Craig in case he stumbles up or down. I know Craig feels so much better now that he has showered...I'm hoping that he will be able to make it through the day tomorrow as he is attempting to "teach" PE all day long.

This has been a really long school year and I think that's why I had a minor breakdown at lunch today when I went home to feed Craig. We have been going nonstop since August...
September - November: volleyball season
November - February: basketball season (Craig and his sister at the high school)
September - present: Wednesday night women's volleyball league for me
January - March: Cross Country season
January - present: Select basketball with two practices a week and tourneys on weekends
January - March: majority of intense wedding planning and execution
January - present: Tuesday night women's Bible Study
March - present: Track season
April - Knee surgery
I think we're pretty ready for our summer vacation...

The Results...

Craig is at basketball tonight and quite frankly...I'm glad I have the house to myself tonight. Today started out a little rough because I'm not a patient person. I wanted my MRI results and I wanted them this morning. So when I threw a frustrated mini-fit in the coaches office after being sent to voicemail (for the second time today) I was even more enraged when I was told that I needed to "not over-react and to be more patient"...or something else insulting to that effect. I was not in the mood to hear those words. I wanted to hear: "I'm sorry you're having to wait for the results. I know that you're anxious about what the MRI showed. I'm sure they'll call you back as soon as they're free." But no. I didn't. Don't worry...I might not have been comforted but the tournament sure as heck got finished.

Sigh. I know that patience and compassion are virtues. I get that...but when both of us need those things from each other over a course of a month - it gets a bit exhausting! He's got to schedule and organize a 58 team tournament for this weekend which I know is time-consuming. And it doesn't help that as soon as he thinks he's finalized the tourney someone either cancels a team or another team wants to play, and honestly...how can you turn down a team that's willing to give you almost 300 bucks?! So he was having to return to the drawing board repeatedly as well as deal with disgruntled business partners and clients. And to top it all off? Because of our district track meet last night, he didn't even START on schedules until 10:30 pm. Plus...his knee is still hurting him and his doctor appointment is tomorrow morning at 9:30. I am praying that the doctor can find a way to just fix it once and for all.

The good news is that while I was typing that last paragraph, I did begin to have a little bit more sympathy for him.

And I'm frustrated. My knee is still hurting and it's a weird hurt - if I sit around and do virtually nothing (like I did this weekend) my knee feels fine. Unfortunately, I don't have the luxury of staying in my pjs everyday watching Oprah. I do have to be up and on my feet for the better part of a day. It's the up and moving around part of my life that is bothering my knee. I did finally talk to my doctor around 5:45 this afternoon and he said that he was surprised by my MRI because it only showed a "small tear" in the meniscus. He said that surgery was not the first option and that I should come in for a Cortisone shot sometime in the near future. If that doesn't clear it up, then we'll look at going in and cleaning up my knee arthroscopically. Call me a skeptic, but I'm a little...well...skeptic. Although I know that my knee is nowhere near the carnage that Craig has but the Cortisone shot did absolutely nothing for him. It seems to me to be a little bit of a band-aid method of medicine. I'm no doctor, but I am under the impression that a meniscus cartilage tear doesn't just heal up all on it's own. And another point...does the doctor expect me to sit around and not do anything physical? I am jumping out of my skin to get back on the volleyball court. Give me a white ball and a wall and I will work out any and all aggression I have in life. I haven't had that outlet in three weeks. I have a feeling that in order for Craig and I to continue in the relatively blissful harmony that we have...I'm going to need to get on a volleyball court STAT. And if I can't? Give me some anesthesia and clean me out. I don't want to hurt anymore and I need to get back into the game.

On that note...I was also disappointed about the diagnosis from the standpoint of "My knee hurts bad. I can barely walk at night because it's so stiff and swollen. I am having sharp and dull pain on either side of my knee." This has been going on for three weeks. I kind of feel like a big, fat crybaby right now. Growing up there were lots of times that I wouldn't feel good but I still had to go to school. I tore ligaments in my ankles twice and never saw a doctor about either of them. My parents generally had a "suck it up" attitude and when I did finally get sick...I always felt guilty because I knew that they were taking off work to be at home with me. More so from my mom because she was a little bit more verbal about being busy at work. She might deny it but I have a memory like an elephant and I did sometimes feel guilty because I knew that there were more "important" things that had to be taken care of at work instead of taking care of me. It also made me feel like I was faking. Case in point: last summer's debacle with the appendix. Everyone thought I was hungover and no one actually believed that I was sick! I felt guilty having my mom come over and take me to the doctor...my dad didn't think we should go to the ER. It was sweet, sweet redemtion when the doctor's announced that my appendix had to come out the next morning. So maybe I feel like I'm back in that position...like I'm faking or something and the "faking" is backed up by photographic evidence that there really isn't something wrong with my knee. So I guess I just feel like I have to "suck it up" and get on with life.

And one more thing because I'm bored...

What Was I Doing Ten Years Ago:
- I was playing lots of basketball.
- Dating and breaking up with Nick W.
- Finishing up my less than illustrious career as a JV high jumper.
- Hanging out with Ali, Leigh Ann and the basketball boys.
- Fighting with my mother.

5 Things On My To-Do List Today:
1. Lesson plans (completed!)
2. Get doctor's results (small meniscus tear in right knee)
3. Take a nap (delightful)
4. Discuss morning's conversation with Craig (not yet - gotta quit being actively angry)
5. Catch up on DVR (done!)

5 Places I Have Traveled:
1. London, England
2. Las Vegas, Nevada
3. Munich and Berlin, Germany
4. Amsterdam, The Netherlands
5. Rome, Venice, Sorrento, Florence, Naples and Capri, Italy

5 Snacks Or Treats I Enjoy:
1. Venti Skinny Vanilla Latte from Starbucks
2. Strawberry Limeade from Sonic
3. Popcorn
4. Chex Mix type snacks
5. Green apples

5 Places I've Lived:
1. Hurst for about 18 years
2. Dorm room at UNT in Denton
3. Apartment #1 with Elaine and apartment #2 with Lauren in Denton
4. An apartment in Euless all on my own for 2.5 years
5. A beautiful new house with Craig in Flo Mo!

5 Jobs I've Had:
1. YMCA After School Counselor (Senior year)
2. Lifeguard at NRH2O (Summers after junior, senior and freshman years)
3. Children's Courtyard After School Counselor (3 summers during and 1 summer after college)
4. TAKS and 7th grade Math teacher (one semester)
5. Volleyball coach and 6th grade Geography teacher (wrapping up 3rd year)

Un-freakin-believable

You're not going to believe this...but I have a been diagnosed with a "possible medial meniscus tear." I have an MRI scheduled for Monday and then once that is read, the next step will be discussed. When I asked the doctor what "next step" meant he gave me that "you know what I'm talking about" look and I already knew what was going to come out of his mouth: scope and repair...which just means surgery. Great.

If this sounds familiar...it's because Craig was diagnosed with the same thing about three or four weeks ago. And he just went back to his doctor today because his knee locked and popped twice last night. He was given a cortisone shot and told to come back in a week for another check-up. If it's not better by next Thursday...he'll have another surgery to repair whatever other damage is still in his knee.

At this rate, we're just going to have to have our mothers move in with us because we won't be able to take care of each other. Thank God for two spare bedrooms, three potties and two flat screen tvs.

All joking aside...right now I'm just searching for God's purpose in all of this. Honestly....because I don't understand it. I'm the type of person that will totally jump on board with something as long as I understand the purpose. If I can see the end result or the big picture of whats trying to get accomplished, I will support whatever is necessary to get there. So I have to figure out the purpose of putting both of us through knee surgeries within a two month span. Last summer's appendectomy really showed me and my parents that Craig was in this for the long haul and it also finally put an end to my nasty little smoking habit. But I just don't get this one yet.

And another reason I'm a bit frustrated? Two - possibly three - knee surgeries? A bit expensive. Especially considering I'd rather that money go to a trip to Boston and Maine this summer...but more importantly the wedding!! Sigh...I'm going to go get some ice cream. Mint Chocolate Chip always makes everything better.

A Belated Sunday

Week of: April 12 - 18



First of all - how did last week turn out?
Craig had knee surgery on Friday, April 3rd so he was mostly recovering last week. In general, his surgery went much better than expected and therefore his recovery should not be as long as we thought it was going to be. Although I had absolutely no problem taking care of him while he was immobile on the couch...by Monday afternoon after a long day back at work, I was ready for him to be up and moving on his own again. We had a sit-down pow-wow about the status of his recovery and how I was beginning to get a wee bit exhausted. On Tuesday, Craig was able to get up and go to work, but he only stayed halfway through the day before I had to take him home - he was still hobbling around on crutches and that became exhausting for him. When I returned home later in the day around 5:00, he seemed genuinely relieved and excited to see me and promptly handed me a card. It was a "Thanks for everything" card with a handwritten note from him regarding an appointment for me on Friday at a local spa that he had made. Sigh. On Friday morning while Craig was at his first rehab appointment...I was getting an hour massage followed by a facial and then a pedicure. It was exactly what I needed. I would love to report on other things that happened last week...but honestly it seemed like everything mostly circulated around his knee.



I am looking forward to...
- Working on my scrapbook of our Vegas vacation last summer for my 25th birthday. I absolutely love to scrapbook - but I'm not one of those crazy soccer moms that have the scrapbooking suitcase (yet). I just love the process of picking out paper, stickers and pictures and organizing them all into a creative memory. It's something creative and hands-on for me to do while watching a mindless movie or television program.
- My doctor's appointment for my bum knee on Wednesday at 3:30...keep your fingers crossed! I don't think we can go through two knee surgeries in one month. On one hand...I just want to know what iswrong andhow we're goingto fix it...SOON!


I wish I could fast forward through...

- Lesson planning. I know that this item has been on the "fast forward" list for several weeks now. But please realize that there are 7 weeks plus finals week of school left. We teachers are as "done" as the kids are with school. This is the last long stretch which is always the hardest because there aren't anymore holidays or days off between now (just after Easter) and the end of school. I'm just not inspired right now to come up with fun and inventive lessons.
- Making and going to a doctor's appointment for my knee. Yes. MY knee. A week before Craig's knee surgery, my right knee began to become a little bit sore and swollen feeling in the back when I would come home from work. I just chalked it up to being on my feet all day and resolved to rest more (ie: sitting at my desk). The Wednesday night before Craig's surgery (April 1st) I played two hours of volleyball and could barely walk when I got home. Okay. So the pain had migrated from being isolated to the area behind my knee, to encircling my entire knee (sides, front and back) and even somehow worked the soreness down my calf and up into my thigh. With a sinking feeling, I knew that the aches and pains in my knee was NOT normal soreness from standing all day, but instead something is structurally wrong with my knee. Great. I told Craig it was kind of sore, but left it at that because I didn't want to seem like I was trying to get attention away from his surgery. I felt guilty complaining about MY knee problems when he was about to go into surgery for his. So I ignored it and went on about my business of taking care of him throughout his ordeal. I was intensely jealous of his pain medication, as well as the super awesome icing system they sent home with him from the surgery center. But I kept my mouth shut because I knew that he truly needed them, while my pain was only secondary and something I felt that I could easily ignore. Fast forward a week to tonight. I played outside briefly with my nephews and sister-in-law (and Andy the dog) with a few blow up beach balls out in the side driveway of my parent's house...and I cannot walk properly because of pain and swelling. I no longer have pain strictly in the evening, but it is waking me up at 3:00 in the morning and bothering me all day. As I type this, I have it wrapped up and hooked up to the ice machine (which is so totally awesome) as well as propped up on two pillows...and it still hurts. So...I promised Craig (who I believe is tired of me whining) that I would call the doctor tomorrow to set up an appointment for my knee for sometime this week. Wish me luck...

Right now I'm obsessed with...

- VH1's Tough Love television series. Yes it is a reality show, but I think it actually has a pretty cool and much needed premise. It's all about a tough talking male matchmaker who is putting eight or so misguided in love girls through a boot camp on how to find a good match in a man. It's not just about dressing the part or saying the right things. This guy host really tells the girls how it is - how their behavior, actions and patterns are setting themselves up for dating and love disaster. I can see so much of myself in some of these girls...some of them are so obsessed with the "type" that they see themselves with that they completely are forgetting to look at the person behind the "type." I'm proud to say that I could be a "Tough Love" graduate - Craig is the exact opposite "type" that I pictured myself with a few years ago...but yet he is exactly everything that I ever wanted in a guy and I couldn't be happier.
- Our engagement party invitations. We're having a small engagement party with our families and bridal party at the beginning of June at the horseraces. We've reserved a suite through Craig's basketball company and we're really looking forward to a great evening of horse racing, eating and a Cross Canadian Ragweed concert afterwards! As soon as we set our plans in stone with the park, I immediately knew what I wanted to do for invitations. I dragged Craig to Target and picked up these blank invitations with RSVP cards. They're tan with green imprints of dandelion looking flowers on them. I saw them several months ago and knew that they would fit in perfectly with the vision of the wedding I wanted to have. I bought a pack of 50 for 34.99 and asked Craig to just trust my vision - I had a creative plan that I knew would look great. I typed up the wording of the invitation with all the necessary details as well as one of my favorite Beatles quotes at the bottom: "All you need is love. Love is all you need." I printed one off and handed it to Craig. His response was honest and genuine: "Wow sweetie. These are really good. They look great - you did a great job. You're so good at stuff like that. You should really take an art class or something."

On my mind...

- Lindsay Lohan. Britney Spears. Paris Hilton. Nicole Richie. They've all had their public meltdowns and their drunken insanity nights. Great! Good to know that for awhile there, they were all normal twenty-something women. The media constantly seems to be attacking these girls for their lack of underwear, excessive drinking and overall obnoxious and unbecoming behavior. This week, Lindsay's head is on the chopping block because of the extremely destructive manner in which she seems to be taking her apparent break-up from Samantha Ronson. I am in no way condoning their behavior but I would like for the media to swing the camera lenses at their own twenty something daughter who is in her late college or early career years. Chances are...their daughters behavior is not that much classier than the young starlets we see splashed across the covers of US Weekly and written about in Perez Hilton. Unfortunately, I'm sure that if I had people following me around at 22 years old with cameras...they would have captured the same scenes as the ones Paris, Britney and Lindsay have provided us with. Am I excusing them of their behavior? Certainly not. I do feel like they chose their lifestyle and subsequently chose to be in the public eye. In doing so, you must know that most of your freedom and privacy is going to be given up or restricted. You just have to know that everything you do will and is going to be front page news! But here's the most important point I'd like to make....regardless of status of celebrity-hood, when women behave like this to the extreme that Britney and Lindsay have, it goes beyond the carefree adventures of youth and enters the much more dangerous arena of addiction, mental illness and life threatening situations. These girls are crying out for help and as a nation, we sit back and observe their adventures as if it were a sport. Sit back in your seats and eat your popcorn as you witness the self destruction of young, talented and beautiful girls. Doesn't sound like your idea of fun, huh? So today I'm making a resolution and even though it most likely won't do anything to really help their personal situation...I'm going to stop reading and being fascinated by the slow and torturous demise of the young starlets like Lindsay and my beloved Britney (although Brit Brit does seem to be on the path to awesome-ness once again). I'm not going to sit around and watch these women destroy themselves because I've been there and I am glad it's not all caught on tape.

Doctor, doctor - give me the news!

A few weeks ago, as Craig sat down in a folding chair in the Big Gym during one of his 6th grade PE classes he felt his knee lock, stretch and then POP. Since then, it has been locking and popping on a regular basis as well as pretty swollen. He had an appointment with his specialty knee doctor (the same doctor who has done his two previous knee surgeries) on Wednesday and this is the result:

- Torn meniscus which is an extremely difficult cartilage to surgically repair. Taking the meniscus out is the first part of the surgery.
- Replace the missing meniscus with cartilage from another area of his knee that he doesn't need. (I am a bit curious about this part of the procedure because I am generally under the impression that ALL cartilage is important. After all, isn't a LACK of strong cartilage how we got into this situation? Just my thought.)
- The third portion of the procedure will be an option for the surgeon once he gets into the knee and sees how bad the true damage is. If Craig's cartilage is really in bad shape, small fractures will be created in the surrounding bone to increase blood flow to the area, ultimately resulting in a growth in cartilage in his knee. If this procedure has to be done, Craig will be on crutches for four to six weeks.

Okay. So that's the technical part. It was really cute on Wednesday. I obviously didn't go to the doctor with him because A) he's a big boy and B) I had school. He called during my 4th period class and I excused myself to recieve his call. At that point all he could tell me was that the doctor had indeed confirmed that his knee was locking. Duh. Nine years of school for THAT prognosis? Thanks Doc. He also let me know that he had an MRI scheduled for 3:00 in the afternoon which would give the doctor a better view of what is causing this painful situation. I didn't hear back from him until 4:30 when he called and told me that YES - he was having surgery but that he was in a rainstorm and would have to tell me the details later. Ooookay. I headed up to school to open the gyms for his select basketball stuff because he was driving from Dallas (apparently in a rainstorm) and wouldn't be able to get to the gym in time to open it up and get out the balls. He arrived in the coaching office a few minutes after 6:00 and laid it all out for me...all the technical jargon I just spewed for you up above. But...here's the best part of the story.

When discussing with his doctor the best day to do his surgery, the immediate Thursday (March 26) was unfortunately out of the question because by the time the MRI had been read and Craig and his doctor had conferred, it would be too late to contact the surgical center. Okay. So the next available day was Tuesday, March 31st. Ooh. Craig shook his head in shame and admitted to the doctor. "Doc. If I have surgery on Tuesday, there's a good possibility that I won't have a fiance when it's all over and done." Hmm. Peculiar. "Why is that?" inquired the curious doctor. "Well...you see...that's the night of the Britney Spears concert that Laura has been looking forward to for three months. And...uh...I'm supposed to go with her." Oh. Well. Interesting. Craig's surgery has been scheduled for a week from today - Thursday, April 2nd. As funny as this story is, I am really touched that Craig indeed knows what Tuesday is and how important this concert is to me. Sure...it's just a semi-washed up and totally nutso pop star who is trying to pay off her legal bills with a world wide tour. But it's BRITNEY SPEARS! I have totally been her target demographic since the first strains of "Oh Baby Baby" hit the airwaves. This concert is on my bucket list and ain't no surgery messing with that. I'm just glad he was still thinking of me despite his aching body.

Craig had basketball practice for three hours that night and I opted to retrieve our crutches from the house for him to use during that time. I sped off to my volleyball league and played an outstanding round of volleyball - laying every hit and serve down on the court. I wish I could have stayed an extra hour and played because driving home with thoughts of Craig in surgery and all the possible outcomes clouded my high of playing well. I like to be prepared. I like to be in control. I have the neurotic tendency to contemplate and envision ALL the possible outcomes in Technicolor. I have an overactive imagination which tends to get the best of me in emotional situations such as this. I needed to be calmed down...and quickly. After Craig got home and ate dinner, we crawled into bed, shut off the tv and began googling. We googled every single part of his surgery so that I could fully understand what was going on. We usually do our best talking in bed right before we go to sleep and this was our opportunity for me to discuss all my unfounded fears as well as our plan of action (first part of the plan - both our mothers will sit with me in the waiting room) on the day of as well as during the recovery process. Again this only compounded my love for him and reassured me that he is the right guy for me - he knew exactly what I needed. I needed to hear and see exactly what was going to happen in order for me to feelc omfortable with this whole procedure.

So far, the plan is to have the surgery on Thursday and then set him up on the couch for a few days (and nights). We'll probably move him upstairs on Saturday so he can get a better night sleep as well as be closer to the bath and other necessary bathroom accessories. I'm planning on taking off both Thursday and Friday from work. I just don't feel comfortable with him being home alone just twenty four hours after major surgery. I'm glad that we're doing this on a Thursday because it's going to cut down on the number of days that he's going to have to take off work. He'll be sore and tired going back to work on Monday, but I think he and I both will be ready to get out of the house and get back to work.

In conclusion - start saying prayers on Thursday. Some for successful surgeries and others for a quick and relatively easy recovery. That's the other part of my worry - the recovery. BUT...that is a worry for another day. I'm going to get him through the surgery successfully and then start on the recovery.