Online Shopping

I'm not that big of a clothes shopper to begin with, honestly.  I'm a shop-by-necessity kind of girl which is pretty much in line with my personality.  I like to see things in person and know that if I'm going to spend money on something that it's going to be a good, solid buy.  Since I've got a kind of unique body with such my long torso, small bust and athletic hips & thighs, I'm really hesitant to buy clothing items online that might not fit real great in person.  

In order for my to purchase an item of clothing, it has to be the right fit, the right price AND be totally versatile in my wardrobe.  By that standard, I don't have a TON of clothes in my closet but what I do have easily transitions from dress to casual wear and can be worn with a variety of layerable clothes and jewelry.  

But at the prodding of many of my friends AND the lure of great deals on fabulous products, I downloaded both Groupon and Zulily apps to my phone and began shopping.  At first I just perused the offers without ever really purchasing anything - it was more or less the excitement of window shopping without having to leave my house.  

But today I took a leap of faith and made not one, but THREE online purchases!

I'm still super leery of buying clothes for me through Zulily just because they don't have a return policy and I'm so particular about the fit of clothes on my long torso but you can't really go wrong with shoes...especially when they're only $15 each!  I'm going to need some basic and comfortable shoes for teaching that will go with a multitude of outfits from fall to winter and all the way into spring.

Bucco - Taupe Toe-Cap Deedra Flats

Tan flats go with everything and I really like the gold detail on the toe.

Bucco - Pewter and Silver Spike Cap Toe Betty Flats

At first glance just another pair of plain silver flats, but I really like the spikes on the end that will add some umph when they stick out from under my dress pants.

The only thing that bugs me a little bit about Zulily is that they place their arrival time of products at around two weeks.  I know, I know...first world problems, right?

One of the perks about being a teacher and having the summers off is that I get to take advantage of weekday prices AND smaller crowds when going to do fun things with Natalie.  A few days ago I received an email from a friend inviting a large group of ladies and their littles to a variety of fun stuff she is doing with her sweet nieces.  Some of the stuff was a bit too "old" for Natalie (pedicures, Jonas Brothers concert) but a big room full of trampolines?!  Absolutely perfect for an active little gymnast like Natalie.  A mass email was sent out about a Groupon for 50% admission for two hours of jumping at Urban Air in Southlake and I figured this was the best time for me to bite the bullet and make a purchase through the app that I scan through every day.

Urban Air image via Trip Advisor

It took me a little long to get things situated with purchasing the tickets and then making sure we were signed up through the Urban Air website for the correct time and date with our friends.  Trampolines is definitely Natalie's favorite time during gymnastics class so I know that she will be totally excited to have a room full of trampolines and tons of new friends to play with.

But I'll admit, I'm almost a little afraid of how much I'm going to enjoy these Zulily shoes because it will only empower me to do MORE online shopping!

Not Your Father's History Channel

Maybe it's the fact that I've been sucked back into the academic world of teaching history to seventh graders but I have been a big time History Channel nerd recently.  

They have had some AMAZING series on lately, starting with The Men Who Built America which chronicled the rise of the mega-businessman through the Industrial Revolution of America and ended finally with the break up of monopolies by Teddy Roosevelt.

This week started Mankind - The Story of All of Us which tells the story of man from the most primitive of times but yet how each generation and civilization built upon one another to form the world we know today.

It's all rather fascinating and I'm really enjoying geeking out over it.

Because let's be honest........I'm a nerd at heart.  I think people at work have always kind of seen me as the young, (possibly) pretty volleyball coach who also teaches PE but never really as the intellectual powerhouse that I can be when it comes to history and math.  One day at lunch.......and I can't really remember HOW we got onto the topic........but we were discussing Germany, Berlin and how it all was divided after World War II with the Berlin Wall through the city and the much greater Iron Curtain that was shielded over most of eastern Europe.  

Again.  I really don't know how it came up.  Possibly vacations people have taken to Europe or a place that a teacher lived?  I guess it's not really that important.

Anyways.

One of the teachers asked for a little bit of clarification on the separation of Germany and how the wall came to be and all that.

Oh boy.

I launched into a lecture about the division of Germany after World War II between the UK, the Americans, France and the Soviet Union.  I talked about how the Soviets only joined up with the Allied forces because in Stalin's mind, we were the lesser of two evils with the much greater evil being Hitler.  I explained how the city of Berlin was in the Soviet's side of Germany and had to be divided up as well because the Americans were leery of giving complete control of that strategic city to the Soviets.  Then there was the part about how all the East Berliners were fleeing to the west side of the city because, you know.....democracy > communism, which of course made the Soviets angry so overnight they laid out barbed wire throughout the city, thus trapping the East Berliners in the eastern portion of the city.  I went on through the building of the wall, the no-man's-land in between and the numerous escape attempts and even the airdrops the Americans made in an effort to deliver food and other necessities to the beleaguered East Berlin captives.

As I sheepishly wrapped up my diatribe on what happens to be one of my most favorite subjects, I noticed that everyone was kind of staring at me....many in bewilderment and amusement.

The lady to whom I had been speaking said "you are the coolest nerd I've ever met."

I beamed.

Yes.  I am a nerd.

And in closing to my nerdiness.....I found this today on Pinterest.

Compulsive Counter

Last night while playing with Natalie and her kitchen toys, I noticed something disturbing.

Well, not NOTICED as in.......never knew it before, but more like a habit of mine became painfully obvious.

I don't even know if I would call it a habit, more like a compulsion?

I count.

I count EVERYTHING.

I can tell you how many zoo animals Natalie has in her Zoo Talkers collection.
Thirteen......originally twelve but then Bear went missing and we bought Flamingo to bring it back up to the "right" number for me and of course Murphy's Law states that as soon as you replace something, you find it so Bear was located and now we're up to thirteen.

I can tell you how many pieces are in her kitchen collection.
Six milk bottles
Two old plates, two old saucers, two sets of old silverware, two new plates, two new bowls, two new cups, two new sets of silverware
Three spice bottles
Three potatoes
Two cookies
And so on...

I can tell you how many of each kind of block she has in her collection and which one is missing at any given time.
Two purple bridges
Two orange triangles
Three small pink bricks
Two long green bricks
Equal numbers of small hot pink and yellow bricks
Two long turquoise cylinders

I know that right now we are missing a monkey from her train and an egg from her kitchen.

Whew.  And that's just the tip of the iceberg.  Everything is counted.  Everything is listed.  Everything has to be accounted for in my world.  I know how many pens should be in my desk and how many pads of different colored paper sit in my organizer.  I wouldn't say that I have a "photographic" memory but I remember things.  Everything.  Where things are located.  What people wore.  How I felt at any given time.  A conversation.  What I am supposed to do next week on Thursday at 4:00.

My brain makes me tired.

My penchant (or obsession) for everything organized and structure has always just been a quirk of mine.  Something people always pick up on and think is kind of cute, but a little weird.  Never anything that truly impeded my life but instead helped me be prepared for everything and anything.

But now I'm starting to see it in Natalie.  And it terrifies me.  This can be an exhausting way to live.  Anxiety sparks up anytime something is missing or out of place.  Shutting off my brain is nearly impossible.

I can't stop counting and keeping an internal list of everything that she has.  No wonder she feels the compulsion to clean and pick up.  I couldn't just sit on the floor and PLAY with her last night.  I used my time with my daughter to count her toys and make sure that everything is accounted for.

My chest has tightened up just thinking about it all.

I guess the good news is that I recognize the pattern.  I am relatively self-aware and hopefully since knowing is half the battle, I can wage the rest of the battle by trying to shut down the compulsive side of my brain that says to count, organize and clean.

At least when it comes to afternoons spent playing kitchen and babies with Natalie.

But my desk at school?  You can bet I'm keeping track of my colored InkJoy pens....7th graders can be sneaky little boogers.

Milk Glass

Ebay is a dangerous place for a girl like me.

My current obsession is vintage white milk glass kitchenware.

Gorgeous, right?

All I did was Google "small white vases" and then down the rabbit hole I fell.

Find it here

Find it here

Find it here

Find it here

It's classic.  It's lasting.  It's a chameleon.

It's all so absolutely perfect for my house.

I found a few great sets of vases on sale on Ebay and I already sent the links off to Craig.  

Life After Television

It hit me this week.  I watch A LOT of television.  It's Thursday and my DVR upstairs in our bedroom is full of this week's shows that I haven't been able to watch because of my hectic schedule as well as our earlier bedtime (Natalie is still wanting to party at 3:00am).  So last night as I was settling into bed after my volleyball game I scrolled through the list of shows and I was almost a little disgusted with myself.  No wonder I complain about not having time to read books - I'm spending all my time drowning in the drama on any given Housewives show.  

Here is what is sitting (or about to be) in my DVR.

Bethenny Ever After

Frequency: Once a week

Duration: One hour

Chelsea Lately

Frequency: Monday through Friday

Duration: Thirty minutes

The Colbert Report

Frequency: Monday through Thursday

Duration: Thirty minutes

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

Frequency: Monday through Thursday

Duration: Thirty minutes

Dance Moms

Frequency: Once a week

Duration: One hour

Glee

Frequency: Once a week

Duration: One hour

The Real Housewives of Orange County

Frequency: Once a week

Duration: One hour

Shark Tank

Frequency: Once a week

Duration: One hour

The Voice

Frequency: Once a week (for now)

Duration: Two hours (for now)

And I'll be honest - I think there are some shows on my DVR that I forgot about and didn't list here.  If you're keeping track that is at least 13 hours of television a week, plus random other things I'm recording and shows that I pick up here and there.  Granted with skipping through the commercials, I can blow through a Chelsea Lately episode in twenty minutes but I could also be reading a chapter of a book in that time as well.

So here is my plan for next week.  I'm going to clear out my DVR this weekend and catch up on all my shows so that I can delete them and have a clean slate.  I will allow all the programs to record like normal next week but the change is.........I'M NOT GOING TO WATCH THEM.  Let's see if I can go a whole week without watching my shows and instead spend that time doing all those things that I "don't have time for" such as reading, folding laundry, organizing drawers etc.  

It might be a long week.

Addiction

I absolutely adore Vera Bradley.  Here are a few of my favorites AND what I'm hoping might be wrapped up for me as an anniversary present in March.

Compact Wallet in Sittin' in a Tree

My first Vera Bradley purchase at the store in Southlake Town Center a few years ago.  It was the perfect wallet size for the amount of stuff I carry in my purse (which is not much).

Hipster in Rhythm and Blues

I received this purse for Christmas from my mother-in-law and I use it almost everyday.  I really like it because it holds all my stuff but keeps my hands free for when I'm lugging Natalie in and out of the car.  Plus........all the middle school girls at work LOVE that I have a Hipster just like the ones they wear.

Travel Wallet in Lemon Parfait

Craig bought me this for Mother's Day last year - it is perfect for when we travel because I can easily hold onto all our boarding passes, trip information and drivers licenses.

Villager in Lemon Parfait

This was probably my costliest Vera Bradley purchase and it is by far the largest bag I own.  It is great for overnight trips to grandparent's houses for Natalie or a carry-on bag for the airplane.  I also used it all during volleyball season to lug my game clothes to and from the school on Mondays and Thursdays.

Zip ID Case in Lemon Parfait

This was the cheapest thing I've ever bought from Vera Bradley ($12.00) and it is the thing I use the most.  I don't carry a lot of STUFF in my wallet - my license and a few debit cards is about it.  If I was to recommend one VB purchase for a new mom it would be this little lovely darling.  I put my keys on the keychain, my stuff in the zipper pouch and I can fit the whole thing in my back pocket of my jeans when cruising through Target with Natalie.  I HATE having to lug around a bunch of stuff so I try to keep it minimal.  For example - when we went to the town center in Southlake on Monday, I stuffed her diaper bag in the bottom of the stroller and put this wallet and my phone in the back zipper pouch of the stroller.  It is really a lifesaver for me.  And the added bonus?  Natalie loves to chew on it while relaxing in the cart at the store and it keeps her quiet and focused without having to bring along a different toy for her.

Messenger bag in Pucci

I actually don't think they make this style of bag anymore - we had to search on Ebay to find this particular style.  This pattern is one of the older ones and I like it because it's not too terribly girly.  This bag is Natalie's "diaper" bag, although that was not the original purpose for this style.  VB actually makes a baby bag but after looking at one in the store, I decided that it was a little too big and bulky for me to carry around.  I also like this bag because it fits everything that Natalie needs without allowing me to over pack and carry TOO much.  (Yes, there is such a thing as having too much stuff for your baby)  And when she's done with needing a diaper bag it will be a great school bag for her someday or a bag to pack and take with us on trips!  And it also goes over one shoulder and across the body for hands free carrying which is important to me when taking Natalie out and about.

Small Cosmetic in Island Blooms

One of my cute sixth grade girls came into the coaching office this morning super proud of the new Hipster she got yesterday in this pattern.  Let me tell you - this picture (and the ones through the VB website) do not do this pattern justice.  It is bright aqua and lime green - two of my favorite colors.  I am in love.  It might actually be my all time favorite pattern.  So of course, after this child left the office I had to get online to see what types of products I could try and talk Craig into getting me for either Valentine's Day or our anniversary.  Maybe a cosmetics bag?  Hmm.  I'm a pretty practical shopper - I really try to shop based on NEEDS versus WANTS because when I get too many of the "NEEDS" I tend to have a super cluttered house and we all know that's one of my pet peeves.  I just don't like buying things that I don't see myself using on a regular basis so I'm really going to have to think about what I would need to own in this particular pattern.

Freedom at a Price

Drinking in college was what I considered "fun" at the time. Sunday through Wednesday was spent in recovery from the debauchery of the previous weekend and in anticipation of the surprises that the upcoming weekend held. It was carefree and careless. I can remember feeling so free at the time - like I could do anything at a moments notice or be whoever I chose for a particular night. From spontaneous road trips to Austin to four inch hot pink stilettos with a denim mini skirt...I thought I was living the ultimate life.

But little did I know that the freedom I felt during college was due to being chained to one thing. Alcohol was everyone's best friend and the ultimate party planner. No Alcohol? No party. He was a man of many names (Jose, Jack and McCormick were my favorites) and never let you down on a Friday night. He talked you into trying new things and becoming a new person. Alcohol convinced you he needed him to have a good time. And for most of the time with Alcohol as a classmate in college, nights with no memories just felt like innocent fun.

I'm not sure where or why my old friend turned on me or when our friendship went wrong, but shortly after college I realized that he no longer gave me the same feelings of freedom that he did during my four years on campus. Instead of relishing in the endless possibilities that life after college offered, I began focusing on the life that I didn't have but desperately wanted. Alcohol began convincing me that I needed him in my life even more because I was so incredibly unlovable that he was the only one who would always be there. He made me lie to my friends and put on a happy face while crumbling on the inside at the sight of their contentment with their own lives. No one knew how dangerous our relationship had become because we were still in the age of innocent fun. Twenty-three was still young, fresh and free! What worries were there to have on a Friday night with new friends and the ever present college buddy?

About a year and a half ago, I woke up and found myself looking at a person I didn't recognize. What had my old buddy done to the girl I once was? That confident, determined and vivacious girl my parent's had so lovingly raised had been swallowed whole by the false promises and deceptive lies told by Alcohol. For the first time in my life, my old friend wasn't looking so cool, so fun or so enticing.

My life has changed because of ending that friendship or maybe because I ended that friendship my life has changed. Either way it's really not a part of my life anymore because I have found contentment in myself. I don't have to rely on Alcohol to make me feel better about myself or to fill the void that was at one time so painfully present.

The break in our friendship hasn't always been easy. Although it has allowed me to form new friendships I think it might be creating divisions in old. I understand that Alcohol might not have this same relationship with everyone, but unfortunately this is the relationship that I had and regardless of any situation...I'm going to protect what I've built. Because from what I personally know of Alcohol, he likes to destroy who I am and anything good I believe about myself. I'm not willing to allow him into my life in that capacity ever again.

Because for the first time in many years...

I am content. I am happy. I am finally and truly free.