Adventures in Toddlerhood

Parenting an almost two and a half year old is sometimes like living in a perpetual hurricane.  There's always the calm that comes along with the eye of the storm, but it's an uneasy feeling...like things are going TOO well and that in just a few short moments, the roof is about to be blown off your house and the entire Pacific Ocean will come crashing through the windows.

Craig and I have weathered the toddler storm fairly well so far, but with Natalie quickly gaining vocabulary and A MIND OF HER OWN (how dare she!), the storms we are experiencing have recently taken on a bit more...hilarity.

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The other day I was craving not a glass of wine or a cold beer, but a cocktail.  Vodka and Sprite to be exact.  I also had to run to the grocery store and Natalie was tagging along so at the ripe old age of two and a half...she made her first trip to the liquor store.  Upon entering the store she saw all the rows of wine bottles and exclaimed, "Momma buy wine?"  Sheesh.

But the hilarity doesn't end there.  Oh no.  This was a VERY entertaining trip to the liquor store.

While I was perusing the vodka bottles she began to touch some of the merchandise and I admonished her, "no touching - we don't touch!"  She complied but shortly thereafter I picked up a bottle from the shelf and she was quick to remind me, "no touching Momma!"  Of course this was said with a hand on her hip and in her perfect Momma/teacher voice.  I looked at her skeptically, one eye raised and let her know that "I'm an adult so I can touch whatever I want."  Obviously unimpressed, she hiked up her skirt to show off her delicate Ariel panties and declared, "I an 'dult.  I a big girl!"

Yikes.

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Bedtime with Natalie is probably my LEAST favorite part of the day.  She fights the good fight almost every single night and although I easily resist her pleas of "Momma lay down?" Craig is a big old softie and can't help but snuggle and cuddle and rock and pat Natalie whenever she wants and for however long it takes to get her to sleep.

But that's another topic of discussion entirely.

Tonight was no different with her wails of "no night-night" beginning as soon as Craig placed her into bed at 8:30 after having rocked and read two books.  Eventually the cries quieted down and we figured she had finally drifted off to sleep and we were free to pursue our late night adventures in reality television and selling baseball cards online.

Oh no.

At 9:30 we hear a little voice piping up from the room at the end of the hall.  "Daddy?  DADDY?!"

Sweet mother of pearl.  You have GOT to be kidding me.  What is she doing awake!?

Come to find out...she has been sitting in her rocking chair, reading books to herself by the light of her nightlight on her alarm clock.  For an hour.

So I coach Craig on what television's Super Nanny taught me to do.  Go into her room, leave the lights out and don't say a word while putting her gently back into bed with a loving pat.  Exit quickly and repeat if necessary.

Obviously she gets up and cracks open the door to her bedroom enough for her beady little eyes to see what's going on down the hall.  I turn the corner to face her door while simultaneously putting on my "Momma's not happy face."  She slams the door shut and all I hear are the rapid pattering of feet racing back to bed followed by the twang of the mattress coils as she leaps under the covers.

This happens twice.

Sneaky is not a word I would use to describe my two-year-old.

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Dinner has lately become a case of Whack-a-Mole where Craig and I spend a large amount of time convincing Natalie to stay in her seat and eat her meal.  Perhaps it's a case of extraneous energy but she wants to be dancing, rolling and hopping while ingesting her carrots, strawberries and green beans.

Tonight was no different and after her second escape from and reluctant return to the table, I looked her in the eyes and told her that if she got up ONE.  MORE.  TIME.  that she would be done eating for the night.  Sure enough within minutes she was off and cavorting around the house so I pushed her plate to the sink as a sign that she was D-O-N-E with dinner and that Momma meant business.

As I was cleaning up the dishes I heard her patter of feet behind me and when I glanced back, a peculiar sight caught my eye.  Natalie standing in the corner of the dining room with her head down and her hands up under her chin.

Suspicious behavior, to say the least.

I went over and checked on her but even though her answers were mumbled...they were dripping with guilt and remorse.  But more importantly than that, she smelled delicious.  Far better than ANY two-year-old should smell at the end of a hot summer day.  And familiar.  Her scent triggered a memory so I searched the floors, looking for a strewn bottle of my lotion that she might have snatched from my purse.  

Nothing was amiss so I returned to the culprit for a deeper interrogation.  It didn't take much prodding until the truth escaped her lips, "soap - bathroom - sorry Momma."  

A-ha.  Sure enough, her hands were coated in whatever flavor of Bath and Body Works soap I have sitting on the counter in the downstairs 1/2 bath.  Since she had already punished herself by shoving her face into the corner, I just said, "whenever you think you're done with time-out, you may come and talk to me about this."

Bless her sweet heart.

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But for all of her hijinks, her tantrums and her stubbornness...I adore her.  Every single inch of her - from the top of her curly, summer sun highlighted hair down past her belly which is a delightful mixture of lean, little girl and round little baby, through her brown and perpetually bruised legs and all the way to her little toddler toes.

I just love her.  Everything that she is and even the things that she is not.

Watching Kate and William display their precious bundle of joy to the world today stirred up fond and emotional memories in me.  Sure, it was only a few years ago, but I know the mixture of emotions that goes along with holding the most innocent of gifts in your arms, terrified of screwing it all up but simultaneously excited for the journey you are about to take.

This season that we are in right now...this is the season I imagined when I was pregnant.  The times when Craig and I would be able to giggle and glance at each other with that look that only two people can share about their child.  No one can love her like we do.  No one will know her like we do.

When we look at this little girl we see ourselves, the generations that came before and the future stretched out in front of us.

I see my grandmother's gray-blue eyes paired with my wide, genuine grin.

From her head sprout Craig's curly blond locks that hang over her olive brown skin that's so obviously inherited from the Italian side of my family.

There's her long and lean body and I am no longer ashamed of being tall and athletic - I am proud.  I created her.  I created the body with which she runs, jumps, gallops and rolls.

And then there are the pieces of her that are unique and devoid of any family relation.  The moments that are purely NATALIE...those are the ones that I delight in the most because it allows me to see the independent individual Craig and I created.

Beach Vacation!

We definitely hit the ground running during the month of June...the first two weeks of summer were filled with doctor's appointments, swim classes and even some professional development.  So my little family was definitely ready for some relaxation in the sun when we headed down to the beach the last week in June.  

As Craig and I were discussing potential vacation plans way back in January, I mentioned that my favorite family vacation growing up was actually the summers that we spent renting a cabin on the lake.  But since we don't have a boat (nor did we want to rent one) I suggested that perhaps a beach trip was in order.  Craig took the bull by the horns and immediately began investigating beach house rentals as well as what would be the best beach to visit in Texas.  We also decided to rent a house because Natalie requires three meals a day and that could get expensive rather quickly.  By having a house with a full kitchen I could pack stuff for breakfast, snack and all the in-betweens in an effort to save money.We wanted to stay away from the Galveston area but also didn't want to head down to South Padre because that's a LONG drive with a two-year-old.  So it was settled that we would be vacationing in Rockport, just a little northeast up the coast from Port Aransas and Corpus Christi.  If you have small children I definitely recommend it - a great beach with shallow, clean and clear water and a wonderfully quaint downtown area.

So without further ado....our vacation.

We left the house around 6:00 in the morning because when mapped out on my phone, the trip looked like it would take about six hours...without the necessary stops made to accommodate a two-year-old.  It was actually a beautiful drive - we got off the interstate in Waco and took a two lane highway the rest of the way down to the coast.  It gave us an opportunity to drive through some super cute small towns (some that I immediately Googled and Zillowed to look for job and house opportunities!) as well as take a little side trip where Craig indulged the history nerd in me...

The mission and presidio at Goliad where 300 men who had been captured during the Texas Revolution by Santa Anna's army were executed.  Seeing this historic site really put everything into perspective for me - I was able to see how close these buildings were to each other; how the presidio sits on a hill with an amazing view on the valley below; how the oh-so-important source of water runs right next to both the presidio and the mission.  

I am so thankful that my husband could hear the excitement in my voice as I realized that Goliad was ONLY a thirty minute departure from our route and HOW COOL it would be if I was able to visit this historic site.

Mission Espiritu Santo

The entrance to the presidio near Goliad, Texas.

The chapel at the presidio.

My loves in one of the towers that would hold on-duty soldiers protecting the presidio and mission.

The open yard where most of the 300 soldiers were executed.

Craig was in charge of searching for and narrowing down our choices for beach house and he did an absolutely WONDERFUL job.  The house was right on the water and had enough space so that four adults and one toddler could co-exist quite happily without feeling like we were all on top of each other.

The front of our house.

The view off the front porch down the canal.

My dad and Natalie - these two spent a whole lot of time sitting on that balcony talking about all the different boats and ships that passed by our house.

Those bright blue eyes have faded since her infancy and have settled into a quiet (and meaningful) shade of gray.

Happy to be relaxing on the balcony with my little girl.

There was a lot of THIS on our vacation.

The gorgeous and peaceful view off the back of the house.

Craig and Natalie heading off to the water!

My parents examining the beach.

We typically hit the beach each morning at 10:00 which was late enough to be warm......

but early enough for us to score some sweet shade.

I really think we hit the jackpot - this is one of the prettier beaches I've experienced on the Texas coast.

My whole family digging in the sand.

First time in the water!

The princess child sitting on her throne and chomping on some snack.  Swimming in the water and digging in sand is HARD WORK when you're two!

Since my parents have been so generous with their time and energy since Craig and I had Natalie, we decided to treat them to a delicious dinner at Seafood and Spaghetti Works in Port Aransas.  And of course we also had to do a little driving around and site seeing as well.

Natalie and her dolphins - she actually was able to spot a couple from the back of our beach house!

So happy to spend time with our daughter and my parents.

Granddaddy and Natalie checking out the boats.

Natalie and her Nonna.

Cool girls in our sweet shades taking fun pictures while waiting for our ferry to take us back to the mainland from Port Aransas.

What is a vacation without ice cream!?

Natalie and her daddy cuddling on the couch.

This is one of my absolute favorite pictures of them for a few reasons - first of all, notice her arms...always have to be just like Mommy and Daddy; and secondly...check out that look on her face!  Total love and devotion to her Daddy.

Family selfie!

By the third morning of our stay, we were all a little worn out from sitting in the sun so we headed thirty minutes down the coast and spent a few hours at the aquarium in Corpus Christi.  Of course Natalie loved looking at the fish, dolphins, turtles, alligators and otters.  And I think all four accompanying adults had just as good a time watching Natalie enjoy her animals.

Checking out the USS Lexington which sits in the water across from the aquarium.

Worn out from a morning at the aquarium.

The holy grail of BIG boats for Natalie - a double barge.

This vacation was exactly what Craig and I had been hoping and praying for since we booked it in January.  The perfect location, the perfect house and a wonderful time with my parents and Natalie.

I can't wait for next summer to do it all over again!

Little Prayers

Over the past few days, due to Craig's basketball tournament schedule, Natalie and I have had quite a bit of Momma-daughter bonding time. 

And we sure did need it. 

I know that all kids go through phases of preferring one parent over the other. And I know that as her mother and the person who felt her (not so tiny) kicks from the inside, there is a bond between the two of us that runs so deep....almost as if our souls are forever linked. 

So during the past week when she would demand for Daddy to hold her and me to "go away" or when she would squeal in protest as I tried to get her dressed....I prayed. Prayers for forgiveness because in those dark and cloudy moments, I truly believed that I had caused the rift in our relationship. That because I wasn't present emotionally in her very first few months of life, that I had somehow damaged our relationship. I prayed for the patience to see this phase through with grace and kindness so that I could show her that a mothers love is unwavering and unbreakable. 

And quite frankly, I might have even prayed for a glass of wine. 

I worried and stressed about the upcoming tournaments when Craig will be out of the house more often than he is home. I prayed that this phase would wash through soon and I would be back in the good graces of our tiniest tyrant. 

Tonight those little prayers were answered. 

We took a bath and played with Ariel while practicing our swimming arms. Good lotion was applied to sweetly soft toddler skin followed by the brushing of delicate curls. We watched Monsters, Inc. while eating popcorn in the big bed. We snuggled under blankets and hugged stuffed animals, baby dolls and one very special plastic dolphin.  And then it was time for bed. 

Ugh. Bedtime. The bane of our existence as of late. Needless to say, I was dreading fighting the good fight all by myself. 

So I laid her in the tiny toddler bed, covered her with her blankness and all her favorite stuffed compadres (and that plastic dolphin) and I got down close to her face. 

"I love you Natalie Nelson."

Without missing a beat, she answered, "I love you Momma Nelson."

I melted and she giggled. 

Prayers have been answered and we are back on track. 

The Ugly Cry

I cried the ugly cry last night.

You know, the one where you've just a few too many cocktails and suddenly everything is JUST. SO. SAD. Your shoulders start heaving and you're squeaking trying to hold in the sobs until the floodgates open and mascara starts streaming down your face while your husband says bewilderedly "I thought we had a good time? And everything was fine?" 

Yeah.  It was THAT kind of crying. 

What for, you ask?

A myriad of things, really...the end of the school year is always emotional for me because I get attached to my 8th graders and its hard to watch them move onto high school. This year was made infinitely more difficult because I'm hanging up my coaching hat to wear the full-time teacher cap. As I knew it would be, this transition is so incredibly bittersweet. I love watching girls fall in love with sports. I love watching them set goals, strive for greatness and overcome obstacles. Playing sports created so many defining characteristics through tough practices, conflicts with teammates and coaches, and the glory of a well-deserved win. When I coached my girls, I tried to keep in mind that I would be forever etched in their mind as their "middle school volleyball coach" and I had control over whether or not that was a good or bad memory. 

I didn't become a teacher because I love math SO much (although, I really do). I became a teacher because I wanted to leave something on this earth that was bigger than me. I wanted to make an impact in children's lives. There is so much ugliness in the world that our children see and experience. I can't erase the rejection by a parent, or the years of abuse by a loved one....but I can offer a safe place to land for forty-five minutes during the day. I can have an open door policy that allows for communication, a listening ear and advice....when asked. I can show my students the unconditional love that they might be lacking elsewhere.  Yes. Love. I have to love these kids in order to teach them. I have to be invested in who they are, where they come from and where they are headed.

So I cried because I'm scared at this next step. I'm worried that my sphere of influence in the lives ofstudents will shrink due to the nature of being a math teacher. I dread the day my athletes come to me complaining about their new volleyball coach. Or even worse...they tell me how awesome she is and how much they love playing for her. I'm terrified that all these people are excited about my new position and believe that I'm going to do great....and what if I'm not. What if I've been faking my way through this whole teaching gig and I'm really not that great at disseminating information, organizing curriculum and preparing kids for a MAJOR state test? 

And then I cried because of an overwhelming sense of loss. 

My first three years in the classroom were spent at a school where the teaching environment and th comrade rue amongst the teachers was pure magic. There were fun pranks on fellow teachers, happy hours every week and tons of wedding and baby showers celebrating each others major life events. There was a tight-knit group of us that weren't just co-workers, but great friends as well....and I know this contributed to the success of our students and the overall atmosphere in the school. During this time, the girls athletics program won at least six district championships not JUST because we had a run of fabulous athletes, but I think the girls had a great understanding of teamwork because the four of us coaches MODELED teamwork and friendship for them on a daily basis. 

One of these great teacher friends I made during this time was my mentor teacher who took me under her wing while I was student teaching in 8th grade math. She was young, cool and laid back. She also was a former party girl and understood why I was always dragging on Monday mornings. Through my year of student teaching, she became more than just my mentor teacher....but a great friend as well. I would sit with her and her bestie at lunch everyday and I learned so much about teaching , being a wife and motherhood. They became the older sisters that I never had. 

And she's moving. To Colorado. Sigh. 

I'm upset and sad not just because I'm going to miss seeing her at in-services or at swim dates during the summer....but also because its the end of an era. Another important face of those three wonderful years at MMS that is gone. 

At this end-of-school party the other night, most of that old gang was there to celebrate the end of another year, but also to say good-bye to a dear friend. It was lovely...all of us being back together, having drinks, laughing at our crazy antics and marveling at the quickness that time seems to pass. I cried because I miss that camaraderie. Yes, I have a bestie at my new school...but it's not the same. I miss going to work excited to see all my friends.  I miss the kids knowing that if I wasn't in my room in the mornings to check next door with the other volleyball coach - because we were a matched set, where you found one of us the other wasn't far away. I miss conspiring for our yearly prank on the basketball coach - we've tipped over desks, decorated his room in Michigan State (for the devout Michigan fan) and printed off huge pictures of ourselves and taped them to the walls. 

I miss the easiness of it all....we came to work, did our best to teach the kids we had while trying not to take it all too seriously. We knew the lessons we were preparing were tried and true - and we had the test scores to prove it. Because of the educational atmosphere alive and well today in my district, the state and the nation....teaching is stressful. Am I incorporating enough technology?  Are the parents going to contest this very low but very well-DESERVED grade by their child?  Am I going to be docked points on my appraisal for a lack of technology in this ONE lesson they are observing?  Am I strategically designing my lessons? I guess I've been involved in education for long enough to see the changing of tides....and also long enough to know that I've invested far too much time and energy into it to bail out now and find something else to do.

So, I cried the ugly cry while Craig patiently patted my hand and reminded me how much I hate change, but despite my fear of the unknown....it always somehow works itself out.  And he's right.  I'll sit here next year and laugh at my fears of teaching math.  Of course there will be moments when I sit at my desk and wonder WHY DID I DO THIS?!  But when it's all said and done...life moves on, math will be taught, friendships will remain despite the distance but I also have to remember that not everything in our lives is meant for permanence....that's why God gives us the power of memories.  

Two

Our campus officially started the transition from PCs to Apple this week and I am trying desperately to contain my giddiness.

Look at these beautiful pieces of technology.

(MacBook Pro + iPad + iPhone) = one happy girl

So in this process of switching all my JUNK over from my PC laptop to those beauties up there, I came across our family pictures.

More specifically.....THESE kinds of family pictures.

A candid photo taken by my friend Amy while she and our friend Heather were helping me put the finishing touches on Natalie's nursery.

Just a few weeks before her birth!

I do believe that Angie misses being an "only child."

Minutes after her birth, two years ago today.

I remember this moment vividly....I looked down at her crying and glanced at Craig, terrified.  

"What do I do with her?  Why is she crying and how do I stop it?"

The spitting image of her daddy.

Nonna, Momma and Natalie

Snoozing comfortably in Daddy's arms.

The first night at home, all swaddled up in pink.

And now she's two and full of spirit, giggles, opinions and love.

Happy birthday my sweet girl.

Mega Christmas Round-Up

First off I'll start with the picture of Natalie that was sent out with our Christmas cards.  I'm still old school.....I buy actual cards, stick in a picture of Natalie and sign all our names on the inside.  Actually, I'm more cheap than old school because I buy all our Christmas cards for the next year the day after Christmas when they are mega discounted.

Regardless.

Here she is three months away from her second birthday.

And a few outtakes of our little photo session:

This one looks like a mugshot.

Here she is mauling Santa while Angie gets her nose in the picture.

And the new toddler "cheese" face she has debuted recently.

And here we are close to the end because she is juuuuuust about DONE with Momma taking pictures of her.

Christmas Eve Cookie Decorating

Craig and Natalie ready to bake and decorate sugar cookies for Santa.  Craig *might* be more excited about this activity than Natalie.

And when I say *might* I mean........Craig was SO pumped for this.  Seriously.  It was pretty adorable.

My big girl.

Lots of different kinds of fun sprinkles.

While the cookies were cooling all three of us got to decorate an ice cream cone to make into a Christmas tree.  Mine is in the back, Craig's is on the left and Natalie's on the right.....in case you couldn't tell which one was decorated by the almost two year old.

Serious dedication and concentration.

On a related note....a little tip for baking and decorating with small children?  Put a big beach towel down over the table or countertop before the activity starts.  That way all the mess lands on the towel and when you are done, just fold up the towel and shake the mess into the trashcan for super easy clean up!  

Oh.  And have two ravenous dogs roaming the floor so all the dropped pieces get cleaned up too.

The finished products!

Sitting by the Christmas tree for the requisite Christmas Eve photo-op.

And by the other tree in the living room.  I took SEVERAL of these photos and in every single one.....she had her little hand gripped tight around the branch of that tree.  Not sure why.

And we always have to leave a letter for Santa thanking him for his kindness.  

She does have impeccable handwriting if I do say so myself.  

Cookies and milk for Santa under the tree!

A little Christmas book reading before bedtime.

And then the stockings were hung by the chimney with care.

And this is the BIG gift that Santa brought Natalie!

Christmas Day!

A happy girl with her big surprise.

All the loot that Santa packed into her stocking.

The biggest hit of Christmas....the baby furniture.

And my personal favorite - Olivia and the Fairy Princess.

And then a Christmas to remember.....SNOW!  It started sprinkling down just a bit in the morning while I was making a breakfast casserole.

But by the time we made it to my parent's house at 3:30 the ground was completely covered.

Angie and Ajax frolicking in the snow.

Natalie checking things out.  She was very upset when the snow got on her shoes.  Can't blame her.

All four pups out exploring....all with the appropriate winter wear of course.

Merry Christmas everyone!!