My Sheryl

Remember the Titans

Walt Disney, 2000

Video HERE

Thursday night I took Natalie to watch Craig's Division I basketball team play in the first round of the district tournament, a game which he won by a sturdy twenty points.  But this obviously isn't the first time she's spent the evening in a gym but last night when I saw her sitting on the bench in the stands like a big girl, I had a flashback to the little girl featured in the video above.

This will be my child.

Well, I hope it is.  I want her to share our love of sports and competition.  I want her to feel the same passion and joy that her father and I did when we were growing up and playing team sports.  I want her to be her daddy's sidekick in the stands and on the sidelines.  I want her to grow up running around the gym helping the big girls during practice.  I want her to look forward to Daddy-daughter date nights at Stars and Mavericks games - with appropriate team colored hair bows and pigtails of course.  

First Stars Game!

Craig and I have had season tickets to the Dallas Stars for four years. We have really grown to love the game, the team and date nights in Dallas. When I was pregnant we went to an autograph session with the players and I bought an infant size Stars jersey to have all the players sign. It's been hanging in her closet waiting for a special time to wear it. Today was that day. Since the boys played at 1:00 in the afternoon we figured it was a great opportunity to introduce Natalie to our favorite outing - a hockey game. We were a pretty cute trio in our jeans and autographed matching Stars jerseys. She made it through two whole periods and one intermission and for a ten month old.......that's pretty good.


Natalie and Daddy outside the American Airlines Center.


Watching the game intently - true to Natalie form, she was so interested in all the new and different things at the game.


I love these two people. I know Craig was so proud to bring his beautiful little girl to the game. I sincerely hope that they still go to games together when she is five, fifteen and even twenty-five.


Mommy and Natalie - you can't tell but we do have matching jerseys on under our jackets. I draw the line at wearing a big green bow in my hair though.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Cross Country

Maybe it's the three cups of coffee I've had this morning or maybe it's just the anticipation of a good race...probably a combination of the two....but whatever the reason....

I'm antsy.

I'm amped.

I'm nervous.

I'm proud.

I'm a cross country coach with three teams that could win a trophy at today's district meet and the coach of one young lady that can certainly place in the top ten overall in a very competitive 8th grade race.

Cross Country is a weird sport and not one that I ever pictured myself coaching.  I never understood why those soccer girls would purposely run around in the cold weather for such a long distance!  Needless to say, I am not a runner.  That's why I played basketball and volleyball - small courts + time outs = not a lot of running.

But for whatever reason....I really love coaching cross country.  I love seeing kids set personal goals and grow in speed and confidence over the course of the season.  I love watching kids fall in love with a sport that they initially thought they'd hate because in their mind it's just RUNNING but in reality there is so much more to it.

We have five meets total starting right before Thanksgiving and ending the week before Christmas.  The first four meets are between three different schools in the district and each meet is hosted by a high school XC team.  In the regular meets all the runners in each division run together but only the top seven places are scored per team.  The team with the lowest score wins.  Confused yet?  Here is a quick example.

School A:
Runner 1 places 1st = 1 point.
Runner 2 places 5th = 5 points.
Runner 3 places 9th = 9 points.
Total points = 15

School B:
Runner 1 places 3rd = 3 points.
Runner 2 places 4th = 4 points.
Runner 3 places 6th = 6 points.
Total points = 13

School C:
Runner 1 places 2nd = 2 points.
Runner 2 places 7th = 7 points.
Runner 3 places 8th = 8 points.
Total points = 17

So which team won?!  School B because they had the most kids at the front of the race which means the lower point values.  Even though School A had the individual winner of the meet, the other runners did not do well enough to cover the spread.  The district meet is a little different because all 15 middle schools are competing at one time and if ALL the 7th grade girls ran in one race there would easily be over 250 girls running which would be very overwhelming to keep track of.  For the district meet, each school selects seven top runners in each grade and gender division.  Each grade and gender division "Elite" race consists of the seven top runners from each school and their scores are the only ones that count towards our overall place in the district.

There's actually a lot of strategy to coaching cross country - we want our kids to run fast obviously, but the key is having the athletes bunched up in groups.  You want to have a lot of your kids come in at a time because that causes the teams behind you to have higher places which equals a larger point total.  We also focus on starting the race off strong, settling into a good pace and saving JUST enough energy for that final kick of speed right at the end.  A meet can easily be won or lost in the last 100 yards depending on who has enough gas left in their tank to sprint ahead and take the advantage.

At our school we have two coaches working with the cross country kids - myself and the head football coach.  We have different strengths and use those to our advantage - I take care of all the paperwork (creating and handing out info packets and calendars and collecting t-shirt money, etc.) while the football coach takes care of planning practices and varying the routes we run through the neighborhood.  Cross Country is easy to coach because the practices are short (45 minutes) and they're relatively hands-off (make sure they're stretched and send them on their route).

So where am I going with all this technical stuff?  Well...we're a small school.  We only have about 650 kids total in the three grades and only the 7th and 8th graders are eligible to participate in athletics like Cross Country.  We compete against schools that have over a thousand kiddos (my husband's school is one of them) and that means those coaches have a lot more athletic depth to choose from when selecting kids for their teams.  We are automatically at a disadvantage just because we don't have the numbers - our pickings are a lot slimmer.  But this year.....we might not have the QUANTITY but we sure have the QUALITY.  Our 8th grade boys are absolutely phenomenal kids.  Definitely a group of special athletes - they aren't just great on the court, the field or the course, they're also hard workers who are polite and funny.  Most of them also happen to look me straight in the eye (and I'm 6'0 tall!) if not DOWN at me because they're taller!  The 8th grade boys won district last year as 7th graders and they completely blew away the competition - out of 100 boys running in the Elite race, we had THREE place in the top 10!  That's totally unheard of in a pool of that many athletes.

I know.  I'm getting really specific and detailed in this post.  But there is a point!  I promise!

Our seventh grade girls totally blew me away this year by being fast little runners and they've won every single meet of the season!  I didn't know what to expect from my 7th grade boys and they too are awesome winning three meets and getting second in the fourth.  And the 8th grade girls?!  Well....they certainly try hard and I've got one girl who can place in the meet and win a ribbon.

So.  That leads me to this afternoon.  We are poised to really do something special and something that has never been done at Forestwood in recent history - bring home THREE trophies from the district meet.  I have tried not to put TOO much pressure on the kids because I don't want them to freak themselves out, but at the same time I want them to understand how great they truly are and to live up to their potential.

************UPDATE************

Okay.  I wrote this blog earlier but didn't publish it.  Here are the results from the meet - 

7th grade boys: 3rd place overall, one in top ten

7th grade girls: 2nd place overall, three in top ten

8th grade girls: 12th place overall, one in top ten

8th grade boys: 1st place overall, first place individual, three in top ten

Holy cow.  I am one proud Mamma Bear Coach.  It's funny - last year I was proud of the boys for their win.  I like winning and I was excited to bring home the trophy.  But this year....maybe it's because of Natalie or maybe it's just because I know these kids so well having had them at school for three years....but I was almost in tears when I found out the results.  They worked so hard all season and really dedicated themselves to achieving their goals.  I got such joy out of watching them hoot and holler in the pavilion about their total domination of the meet.  What a great lesson for these kids - to see their hard work and dedication really pay off.  I can't wait to celebrate with everyone at school tomorrow.

What I Know

As a coach:
- I know that I come to work with the very best of intentions to lead my teams to accomplish the goals that we as coaches have set forth for each individual division and member.

- I know that I do my best to allow my assistant coach to take the reins of his own teams so that he can gain more knowledge of the sport and more confidence in himself as a coach.

- I know that I try to form lasting and personal relationships with all the athletes but I also know that some relationships are formed easier than others because of similar personalities.

- I know that I outline and construct practice lesson plans in order to best cover the wide range of skills necessary for my teams to be successful.

- I know that much like in the classroom with grades, playing time is not GIVEN but instead EARNED.  Everyone has the same opportunity to show what they know but it is what you do with that opportunity that makes the difference.

As a player:
- I know that it's hard to come out of a game after a bad run of passes and plays.

- I know that it is not about me as an individual but instead about what is best for the team as a whole.

- I know that I must trust that my coach is doing the best he/she can do in order to ensure team and individual success.

- I know that not only am I competing against the other team for points but I am competing against my teammates for playing time.

- I know that sometimes you win and sometimes you lose, both personally and as a team.

As a mother:
- I know that my role is not to satisfy her every desire on a daily basis, but instead keep my eyes pointed twenty years in the future at creating a functioning and contributing member of society.

- I know that I must model for my daughter how to have a positive self-esteem as well as a humble mindset by acknowledging that all my gifts are God given.

- I know that sometimes I must ignore my Momma Bear instincts and stand aside so that my daughter can resolve her own conflicts and thus become a stronger and more independent woman.

- I know that my daughter will experience heartaches and failures but that these are all part of life.  My role as her mother is not to fix or prevent the problems but instead help and empower her to self-soothe or resolve the issues on her own.

And overall:
- I know that I am doing the best I can with what I have and that is enough.

- I know that there is only one entity that I must please with my actions and that is God. 

- I know that I am loved by my friends, my parents, my brothers, my husband, my puppy dog and my baby girl.  And that is all that matters.

Momma Bear

I have a new title among my 8th grade Division I volleyball players.  I am no longer "Coach" but instead "Momma." 

Sounds a little creepy, right?  Let me give you the background.

I have a wonderful group of girls this year - they aren't necessarily the most athletically talented girls I've ever coached BUT they are the best listeners.  They generally trust me and my volleyball knowledge and when I tell them to do something different or make an adjustment to their game they do it and voila - they become a better player and a better team.  I would much rather coach a group of kiddos that listen and apply what I tell them than a team full of stubborn athletes.

There is one special young lady who has a very unique spark that is truly God given - she is full of life, incredibly witty and lights up the court and her teammates with her enthusiasm and energy.  But there is one thing that she struggles with in volleyball - her height.  She's my shortest player (but with the highest jump) and desperately wants to hit as easily as the taller girls.  This has been such a challenge for her that it landed her in tears one morning practice after a game.  She and I had a heart to heart about the challenges in life that God gives us and how this is just one of those things she is going to struggle with during volleyball.  I promised her that we would work on her hitting to find a way for her to be successful and have the glory that comes along with getting a great hit over the net.

Last night was our 3rd district game and I was a little nervous seeing how terrible the girls had played last week and this week we were playing a VERY tough team.  From the start of the very first volley I knew something special was going to happen.  My first six girls on the court were playing phenomenally - talking it up, serving well, passing perfectly and taking risks by hitting the ball on the third touch.

By the way - if you don't understand volleyball, I totally apologize for all the "lingo" I'm throwing around in this post.

The game was neck and neck, back and forth for every point and I was going hoarse from all the yelling, albeit it was GOOD yelling...but yelling nonetheless.  I called a time out and I looked at my little one and told her if she got the opportunity to hit "her" hit - she has a great back row attack (a jump and hit from behind the 10' line).  She and the other setting looked at me like I was crazy and they tried to convince me that physically that would never happen because of their position on the court, blah, blah, blah.  I cut them off and looked at her and said "If the opportunity happens...hit the dang ball from the back row.  I know you can do it."  She looked at me again like I was crazy but just said "Ok coach," and we broke from the huddle and the team returned to the court. 

And what would you know....in the next rally, the front row setter set the ball and there she comes from right back, flying through the air and KABOOM!  She sends if flying over the net, knocks down a member of the opposing team and we win the point.  The gym completely erupted as did the six girls on the court and the six sitting next to me on the bench.  The team collapsed on my special little girl and I wish I had a picture of the joy on her face. 

After I settled down from the excitement, I had tears in my eyes.

I love my girls.  That much I already knew.  I put my heart and soul into coaching them and as an emotional person I can't help but get attached to my 8th graders each year. 

But this year is different.  Maybe it's that I'm a mother now and I look at each of these girls as someone else's daughter.  Maybe it's just a special group of girls that I've formed a unique bond with.  I don't know.  But I wanted that hit for this girl.  Not because I wanted to get the team a point....but I wanted her to feel the joy, the pride and the accomplishment of that moment when you hit the ball and are successful.  I prayed that she would figure out how she can best serve her team and I'm so glad that I was able to find her "sweet spot" - that area on the court from which she can hit the best. 

So back to the Momma Bear.

Each morning after a game we get together as a team and hand out awards for the best plays and stand out players of the game the previous night.  Of course this girl got a special award - the heart award, given to the girl each week that plays with the most heart for the game.  I talked with the team about the discussions that this young lady and I have had regarding hitting and height.  I discussed how proud I was of her because I wanted that success for her - I wanted her to know that she can do anything she wants.  And of course, I got a little choked up about it and then that started me talking about how I am so much more of a sap after I had a baby.  They looked at me and said "Aww."  And thus started the "momma bear" comments. 

But I'm okay with it....because to a certain extent...during the volleyball season, I am their momma bear.  I push them to be better, I comfort them when they are having a bad day and I protect them from refs when they are in a game. 

I've always been one to wear my heart on my sleeve and I always thought of this trait as a bad characteristic of mine.  But I feel that when my players know how much I care about them, not only as players but as young women as well....I think I inspire them to work harder, play smarter and become the best athletes and young women that they can be.

A bullet dodged...

I'd like to introduce you to someone very special to me. 

My boyfriend...Brad Richards.

The Dallas Stars dodged a major bullet today by not trading him to the New York Rangers.  I am sure that if Brad had been traded, Craig and I would have had no choice but to sue the Stars franchise.  For what, you might ask?  Because had Brad been traded the stress would have surely sent me into early labor. 

A response...

This post is in response to the comment a friend of mine from high school and basketball teammate, Leighann posted on a blog that I wrote a few days ago. She wrote:


"Im clapping!!! It's always bothered me that I could have gone somewhere with my basketball abilities, maybe not real far, but atleast college. I think it's funny I played AAU for 7 years in the most competative form you could find, yet I wasn't good enough for her high school team. I wish I could go back in time and do something about it, but I can't. It still bothers me to this day that I chose basketball over softball because I thought I could get somewhere better with that...then I hated it so bad, I quit! I have severe hatred towards that woman and I think I will always. Good blog...I love it!"

For a little backstory, Leighann and I were on the same basketball team when we were in sixth grade (the Lady Lakers!) and we played against each other throughout middle school but went to the same high school. My sophomore year I was put on the Varsity team because of the sole fact that I was six feet tall and they needed another post player. Leighann was on JV, but definitely the best player. On a regular district game night, the Varsity basketball team played first and the JV girls played second in the small gym. If I didn't play in the Varsity game (which happened most of the time) I would run down the hall to the small gym and play with JV. Although I understand the thought process, it put me in a tricky spot: neither team really accepted me as one of their teammates. Except Leighann - we were good friends on and off the court and sat the bench together throughout our Junior year, except when she was put into the game to drain some three's. At the end of our Junior year, she and I both approached our coach together and resigned from the team.

So, in response to Leighann's comment I wanted to let her know...that's why I love coaching middle school...because that's when it was still something fun to do with my friends. All my girls want to do is scrimmage in the gym and if I could, I would let them do that everyday because soon enough the sport they love will turn into a grueling job. I have found a lot of joy in the "old coaches" volleyball league that I play in every Wednesday night because it isn't about competition (well, maybe a LITTLE bit) but it's more about being active and playing a game that we truly love.

And to Leighann...I'm so excited for you and Bryan - both on the marriage and the new adventures in Spain!! I can't help but think back to all the movies that we used to watch over at Rohit's house and to the massive amounts of cruising we did in your T-top Firebird!

My Sports Philosophy

Today at lunch with my teaching comrades, I was asked an interesting question. I had just finished relaying my tale of woe of this past week: the two doctor's visits and two possible and very impending knee surgeries right on the heels of one. As is the case with any injury or surgery, people were curious - wondering why on Earth was a woman as young as 25 having major knee problems? That answer is easy - I've been playing competitive sports since I was eight years old which calculates to be about 17 years spent on courts and in gyms. Most of those 17 years have been spent sprinting up and down a basketball court, dodging left and right trying to get to the basket as well as jumping up for the rebounds of badly aimed shots. In addition to the time spent on the court, many hours were spent on the track and in neighborhoods, pounding the pavement to stay in shape and in the weightroom, racking and unracking weights to build powerful muscles. And now that my glory days are behind me, what am I left with? A few scars here and there, creaky joints and most importantly the mindset of "I can and I will because there is no other choice."

And then the question was asked "So when you have a daughter are you going to let her play all these sports, even though you know the possible outcomes when she is your age?"

I smirked to myself, glanced down at my finished lunch plate briefly and then raised my head and looked at this person with confidence and pride in my voice and said clearly for the entire table to hear: "Absolutely. Without a doubt."

I look back at my childhood and youth and realize that some of my proudest moments came from the basketball court. And the moments I'm not so proud of that occurred after I quit basketball and during college when most flag football games were played with a slight inebriation? I had nothing pushing me to be the best person...Friday nights were party nights because there was nothing I had to wake up for on Saturday morning...I wasn't accountable to anyone for my behavior or the shape of my body. I ate what I craved, drank enough to suppress the guilt and smoked all the way along with both. There was no true purpose to my body so I didn't care what I did to it.

Looking at myself today, I know my body has a purpose. It might not be as shaped or toned as it was in high school, but I can feel that it's healthier. Accepting one's body as it is is a continual purpose because a woman's body is constantly changing along with age. I will never be the 135 pounds that I graduated high school at, but I'm okay with that. Because in high school, I was the post that was always getting pushed around on the court because of my willowy figure. Now? I'm the big girl on any court that is intimidating, but along with the power and the determination to back it up. I'm proud of using my thighs to jump so that I can hit the ball - they have a purpose and the serve me well. Sure...I'm like any girl in that I would love to have a flat stomach again and maybe one day, I'll feel compelled to get into an actual work-out facility to tediously tone up...but until then, I'm just going to play sports and have fun.

I want my daughters to have the same emotional and character building experiences as I did while playing sports. I learned...
- the game isn't over until the last buzzer sounds. You always give 100% no matter the score.
- life doesn't revolve around one person. It takes a whole team of people to achieve something great.
- it's really not about losing or winning. All that matters is setting a goal, putting your heart into it and seeing your goals realized.
- sometimes you just have to suck it up and do it. Even though you might not agree or like it...just get it over with and you'll feel much better.

I don't care if my daughters become Division I athletic superstars. I don't care if they even become All-District competitors. I wasn't either of those things, and I still learned great character traits regardless of my notoritiy in the athletic world. I truly am convinced that children become better adults through any and all competitive endeavors. From band to baseball, choir to karate and theater to triathlons...the messages and the lessons are the same. I just want my kids to be strong, independent, confident and determined adults who treat others with respect and tolerance...and sports taught me all of those things.

Tomboy

I'm tall. This point is obvious. My mother and I could share shoes when I was in 4th grade. She wears a size 8 and a half. I surpassed my mother in height when I was in 6th grade. I am the tallest member of my family. I have two older brothers, and yes...I'm taller than them. I was listed as 6'2 on the Varsity basketball roster when I was a sophomore. They exaggerated. I'm only 6'0. I tried gymnastics for a year when I was in second grade - I was already too tall for the uneven bars. I quit and my parents suggested basketball. I played basketball for 9 years and I was always the tallest girl on the team - a post playing underneath the basket.



I was always fairly athletic - I could be put onto any court or field and do relatively well. Except for soccer. I am completely uncoordinated with my feet, but I'm okay with that. Football, basketball, volleyball - I can hold my own. Growing up, life was dominated by school and sports. Staying up late at night to get homework done because I had a basketball game that night. Going to bed early on Friday nights because of an early Saturday morning practice. I suppose that I was probably known as a "jock" or athlete in middle school and high school. I was one of three sophomore girls that had letter jackets. Sports were my way of fitting in and getting frustrations out. I loved the feeling of rebounding a ball and fighting my way out of the swarm of girls around me to find the outlet. I loved being competitive and winning.



I remember one of my proudest moments sophomore year. I came home from preseason basketball sticky with sweat and smelling like a gym. I set down my gym bag in the kitchen and asked my mom how it felt to be the parent of a varsity basketball player. But somewhere along the way in high school, everything I loved about sports became muddled and lost. Basketball wasn't fun anymore. It was a job. I was told to put on weight. I was 6'0 tall, weighed 135, lifted weights, and ate my parents out of house and home. There was no way I was going to become a "big" girl. I tore the ligaments in my ankle in a preseason scrimmage and was out for 6 weeks. In the meantime, I lost my playing position my junior year. To a freshman. I spent the remainder of the season sitting the bench, while breeding contempt and hatred towards my coach and fellow teammates. I gave up on caring and trying to prove myself as an athlete and started drinking. That made Saturday morning practices a little more difficult. I poured my efforts into Class Council and my social life. I quit at the end of the season.



Do I regret that decision? Yes and no. I hated practices. I loved games...but I didn't love watching them from the games. I hated the politics of kissing up to the coach that I really didn't like. I liked being "special" at school - being part of something that not everyone else could participate in. I think that if I had the drive, determination and aggresive tenacity for success back then that I have now, my basketball career could have been a little different. I was definitely blessed with the physical prowress as well as the natural athleticism to be a much better athlete then I was. But, mentally, I couldn't hang.



In college, I joined a sorority and was drawn into a different, more emotionally devastating and damaging kind of competition. Who had the best make-up, clothes, hair color, shoes, apartment, car etc. I tried desperately to look and act the part, but I always felt like I wasn't truly a "girlie-girl" like the other girls in the sorority. I was still most comfortable in jeans, a tee shirt and a baseball hat. But, I guess in order to "fit in" I felt that I had to discard the "jock" and "tomboy" side of my personality and adopt a girlier attitude. I played intramural sports and through my position as Intramural Chair, I recruited athletes into the sorority and by my senior year, we were campus champs at flag football. I played volleyball and basketball, but it was so frustrating for me because I was much better than everyone else. Over time, I gradually grew to ignore the tomboy/jock aspect of myself and truly developed into a prissy girly girl.



I've been out of college for two years and it has taken that long for me to get over the obsession with looks that I fell into while in the sorority. If you look in my closet and itemized the amount of money I spend on clothes and shoes in a month, you would probably say that I haven't truly overcome that obsession. But I must say that coaching has been a blessing for me personally. Through coaching volleyball I have been able to dig out the athlete in me that was socially forced to disappear during college.

In the end, I think the sorority did more harm than good.

I have spent the past two evenings at sporting events and/or sports bars drinking beer, watching sports and shooting the breeze. I have been in jeans and a fleece sweatshirt both nights and it feels awesome. There's no pressure to flirt with the cute guy, no self-confidence issues because the girls next to me are wearing Seven jeans and I'm not. It's just hanging out, talking about stuff and having a good time. I think I'm slowly getting to the point where "going out" is no longer appealing to me. I'd rather meet some friends up at a bar, dressed comfortably, grab a table and sit and talk.