Down the Tube

Friday morning started with the alarm going off at 5:30 so that Craig and I could Natalie up to the children's surgery center by 6:20 for her tubes to be inserted into her ears.

And did you know that in my little town, there is still a line at Starbucks at 5:55 in the morning?!

And did you also know that there are people in this world that are completely made up with high heel boots, make-up and curled hair at 6:20?!

Regardless...we had a pretty uneventful morning.  I suppose things went according to plan - we checked in, were admitted, she drank her goofy juice and off she went.  The procedure took less than ten minutes and she was back in our arms and ANGRY.  And wanting ONLY Daddy and definitely NOT Momma

Reading FOX in the waiting room before the procedure.....in her new Santa pajamas.

Friday night was rough - the antibiotic ear drops that are required for the next few days burn her ears and she has a hard time calming down from receiving them.  She wasn't asleep in bed for much more than an hour before she was up and crying in her crib for "Dada."  I figured it was the start of a pattern so I just pulled her into bed with me and I slept on six inches of the mattress while she had the rest of our king size bed. Ajax taking good care of his patient. And now on Sunday afternoon she is more or less back to normal.  Still not a big fan of the ear drops, but she is running around the house, eating big meals and not crying over the littlest of frustrations. And she slept through the night last night.   Here's to hoping it continues.

"Ear" We Are...

There is an epidemic of pregnancy hitting my Facebook feed. It's attacking with more fury than "wedding fever," which of course makes it harder to resist.

It looks like so much fun...charting how big the baby is getting and taking belly pictures every week. I should get on the bandwagon and give Natalie a sibling, right?!

Nope.

Not after the last four weeks.

Craig and I have not slept through the night since before Thanksgiving.

Things are getting desperate up in here y'all.

I know, I know. I've had a newborn on the every three hours feeding schedule. This nighttime song and dance should be old hat by now.

But the thing is...we've come so damn far from her newborn days. September and October were filled with full nights and late mornings. I could stay up and watch Jon Stewart and not go to sleep with a sense of dread filling up my body because I KNOW that I will be up in just a few short hours. It's almost like we've tasted the parental promise land but now we have been shoved back into exhaustion exile.

Help is hopefully on the way though.

Natalie has an appointment with a pediatric ENT in the morning. The little miss has the propensity for ear infections and we have been battling the same one for close to a full month. After a few rounds with that antibiotic and this antibiotic we are looking at the long-term solution of getting tubes in her ears.

According to others, I should be a nervous wreck because it's SURGERY and ANESTHESIA and it's my BABY.

But I'm not nervous or scared or even very worried.

Because quite frankly, I just want to sleep.

And I trust doctors, modern medicine and above all....I trust in God. Freaking out will not do me or Natalie any good. She takes her social cues from me and Craig, so if I act like it ain't no big thang, she will hopefully stay calm and be brave.

Wish us luck!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sick Day

So....volleyball season is over.  Like I told the girls, I will miss spending time with them, but not getting to school at 7:15 and leaving at 5:45.

But life has not returned to any sense of normalcy yet.

Craig and I went to PF Chang's for dinner before seeing the newest James Bond movie, Skyfall.

Which, on a side note....was AWESOME.  I know that the creative forces behind the franchise caught a lot of flack for casting Daniel Craig as the new 007 but I think it was a genius decision.  I highly recommend it.

And on a second note, apparently Craig "isn't that into James Bond" which I found out AFTER seeing the movie when I wanted to watch Casino Royale on Saturday night.  I feel that this is the sort of information that we should have discussed during our premarital counseling.

Alright.  Back to our weekend.  About 45 minutes before the end of the movie, Craig's mother texted and said that Natalie was running a low grade fever - hovering around 100.  We finished the movie and Craig called his mother but by then Natalie had settled down and was sleeping.  But as parents we still had a decision to make - pick up our possibly sick daughter or let her sleep over at Grandmama's house.  Quite frankly, it was a tough choice to make.  I don't want to pass my sick kid off on anyone else but at the same time....she was SLEEPING and one of my major rules is - DON'T WAKE A SLEEPING BABY.  So we decided to let her stay asleep at Grandmama's house and if there were any more problems, Craig would go pick her up.

Which is precisely what he did at 12:30 that night.

Saturday and Sunday were spent at home, trying to get her fever to break.  We would give her the Tylenol and she would cool down but then right before her next dose, she would be burning up again.  The fever never rose over 101 so I didn't think an Acute Kids appointment was necessary.

Until Sunday evening, that is.  Since volleyball season is over and basketball season has begun, I'm on Natalie sick duty if the case arises.  Last year taking a day off from work wasn't so bad because I taught strictly PE and there were four other coaches there to help take care of my classes.  But this year I'm teaching two sections of Texas History which have definite lesson plans that need to be taught.

So I was in a bind.  I didn't want to send her to Ms. Rebecca's house possibly feverish and definitely cranky ESPECIALLY with the new baby boy that has joined our little daycare group.  I didn't want to be called out of class at 10:00 to come get a sick little girl and then have to scramble at the last minute to get my classes covered.  BUT I also didn't want to stay home with Natalie and then have her be perfectly fine and have nothing wrong with her.

I laid it all out for Craig and convinced him that we should probably take her to the Acute Kids place near our house.  And it's a good thing we went because the little miss has an ear infection in her right ear and lots of fluid in the left.

So we've been home today.  Playing and staying in pajamas well past the time that is appropriate.  My mother came over and brought lunch and then sewed up my aging Cabbage Patch Doll Ellie who is well past her prime.  Natalie watched carefully as Nonna fixed Ellie's "boo boos."

She took a great three hour nap followed up by lots of chasing, giggling, coloring and playing with her baby dolls.  After a Sunday spent being mentally attacked by the "she doesn't love you because you had PPD" demons....today was exactly what I needed.

And then this evening happened.

In the span of practically an hour, my child.............

- ate her father's deodorant and declared it "yucky."

- tried to bite my face mid-tantrum

- slipped bottom first into the sink and then proceeded to turn the water on all over her.

I daresay she is feeling much better, don't you think?




And about that face biting incident.  Let me expound a bit.  She was at the top of the stairs and wanting to carry a large bag DOWN the stairs.  Mmm.  Not gonna happen twinkle toes.  I took the bag from her while explaining to her that she could get it back at the bottom.

Apparently my logic did not compute with her plan and a mini-tantrum commenced.  I picked her up and was trying to calm her down while, again, explaining my thought process.  (Usually if WE stay calm during her meltdowns, she calms down rather quickly.  Well, as of right now at least.)

She tried to hit me and I held her arms back and said "No hitting Natalie.  We do not hit because that is mean and it hurts Momma."  Which is our mantra for pretty much everything discipline related.  Short and to the point.

So what was her next choice?  She came at my nose like Hannibal Lector in Silence of the Lambs with her mouth wide open, ready to chomp down.

I couldn't help it.

I put her back down at the top of the stairs and collapsed into a fit of giggles.  Her reaction was priceless - she knew that she SHOULD be getting in trouble for her actions, but she couldn't quite figure out why Momma was laughing hysterically.  She just kind of stood there with her eyes wide while wringing her hands awkwardly.

Classic.

And that's life with a toddler.

Purposeful and Productive Prayer

The other day I had to break it to my naive little sixth graders - live does not get easier.  I tried to break it to them gently and without invoking a fear of the future, but the fact of the matter is......it's an important life lesson.

I remember growing up that I always thought things would be better once I got to that next stage.  Life would be awesome once I got my driver's license and could cruise out of my house whenever I wanted.  As soon as senior year hit I was ready to move out of the house, into the dorm and live the college lifestyle free of any parental restrictions.  But being broke and having my bank account at the mercy of my parents got old pretty quick and as graduation approached, I was dreaming of living on my own, buying lots of clothes and running around town in a shiny new car.  And that's what I did for two and a half years.  But the fun wore off and as I saw my friends finding REAL contentment as they became engaged, married and for some, even mothers.....I realized that I too yearned to be in that next stage of life where things settled down and became routine.

And here I am.  Married, a mother - the epitome of settled down and routine.

Except that it's not.

Life still throws us curve balls.  Things happen that we can't possibly plan for.  There is struggle and pain.  There is heartache and there are tears.

When God created me, he didn't give me a thick skin.  For whatever reason, a reason I have yet to figure out, he created me in a manner so that I FEEL EVERYTHING.  I am a sensitive person.  I take things to heart and I wear that heart firmly on my sleeve for all to see.  I love deeply and am handsomely rewarded by the intimate friendships that I have in my life.  But this sensitivity also creates intense hurt when loved ones struggle and experience pain or even when love is betrayed, damaged or rejected.

In the past I would cope with pain, worry, fear, unease, stress and all other negative emotions by drinking, shopping, and partying....among other things.  If I didn't have time to sit around my apartment letting my brain wander to things that were unpleasant, then it meant that those bad things and bad emotions didn't exist.  

Needless to say..........that coping mechanism didn't always work.

So now that I'm somewhat of a grown adult, I have been forced to find a different way of working through my anxiety and worry when it comes to the curve balls that life throws at us.  After all, anxiety is a sign that you're not trusting in God and in His plan.  If I can trust in God and pray for the guidance and wisdom that only He can provide, then my Earthly anxieties should be quelled because I have faith in His goodness.

The most surefire thing that I have found that adequately douses out all forms of anxiety and stress in my life is prayer.  Praying for the patience to get through the next five minutes or praying for the health of a friend's child.  Praying for wisdom, guidance and support.  Prayers to help me find the right words to use so that my message comes across clearly and with compassion.  A prayer to help me look beyond the surface and have patience with a struggling student.  Daily prayers that Natalie will grow up happy, healthy, secure and safe.  Continual prayers for the health and well being of all my family and friends.

There is so much in life that is completely out of my control and I cannot possibly protect myself and those that I love from bad things happening to us.  Babies will get sick.  Parents will someday die.  Friends will be in car accidents.

The only way I have found to deal with all my stress, my worry and my anxiety is to pray and truly place it into God's hands.  I used to think that meant giving up and being a sheep but I have found it to be so empowering.  It takes such a weight off of my shoulders that I can focus on being proactive and effective in my real life instead of spending so much time in the foggy haze of anxiety.

I have a dear friend Kate who in addition to being someone I have literally known since birth, she is also Natalie's godmother.  I chose Kate because she is the yin to my yang in a way that is lighthearted, carefree, spirited, mystical........characteristics I would absolutely love to have but find a hard time displaying in my day to day life.  In January Kate gave birth to an adorable little girl named Audrey and we were thrilled with the prospect of our two daughters growing up to be great friends just like we did.

Shortly after Audrey was born, Kate and her husband Karl had an epically rough night where Audrey refused to eat for several hours and subsequently went into a coma-like state.  Scary stuff with a newborn.  Long story short and after MUCH testing and debate, they were sent onto a specialist for more testing and the tentative diagnosis of VLCAD which is essentially a disorder where a person's digestive system cannot break down stored fat for energy leaving ONLY the food in one's stomach for energy.  Basically all of that meant was that for the remainder of Audrey's life she would never be able to have an empty stomach and would be on a very strict diet made up of foods that would maximize the amount of energy her body absorbed.  This also meant that for the time being, Kate and Karl had to feed Audrey on a very strict schedule of EVERY three hours with no rest.  

In addition to fear, worry and exhaustion, there was a sense of loss.  No cupcakes at birthday parties.  No Trick or Treating on Halloween.  And since this is a genetic disorder passed on by the parents....the possibility of no biological siblings as well.

All of this on top of caring for a newborn child and adjusting to the new roles of parenting.

It was a curveball.

And the only answer was prayer.  Lots and lots of prayers for a cure, a misdiagnosis, a lesser form of the disease.  

I prayed for their marriage.  I prayed for courage and strength for Kate.  I promised no sweet treats for Natalie when Audrey was around.  I prayed for the silver lining to the clouds that my friend was experiencing.  There had to be a greater lesson - something BIGGER that was to come out of all this.

I believe it was in April sometime when I saw the missed call and voicemail from Kate.  I listened intently to what she had said.  And then I had to listen again.  

And then I screeched.

All the testing that Audrey had undergone to clearly define and diagnose the extent of her VLCAD?  Came back negative.  She is one perfectly healthy and happy little girl.  

I was absolutely stunned.  Overjoyed and excited.  But stunned at the power of prayer.  Those results were better than anything I (or Kate) had allowed ourselves to hope for.  

There it was right in front of me.  The power of prayer and the evidence of a little miracle.  A little miracle with soft reddish fuzzy hair, big brown eyes that are always alert and skinny legs that are constantly moving.

I look at my own life and see the outcomes of my prayers - the character of my husband, the strength of my marriage, the health and vitality of my daughter, and the grace and wisdom I am gaining each and every day.

Life as an adult can get overwhelming.  At times it's hard, messy and ugly.  And for those of us that were created a little more sensitive than the rest, all that ugliness can be shattering and debilitating.  By giving up control of the situation and putting it all into God's hands and trusting the plan that He illuminates for me, I am actually able to feel more in control of my life and emotions here on Earth which make me much more productive and helpful during those stressful situations.  

I want Natalie to understand that someday......her life will get ugly too.  Things will happen to her that neither Craig nor myself will be able to protect her from.  And in those darkest moments (and then once back in the light as well) I hope that she will be able to call on God to help quell her anxiety as well.  My goal as her mother is not only to create a self-sufficient adult but a devoted lifelong child of God as well. 

Mommy Guilt

I am forcing myself to sit and write.  To write through the blahs I feel and the distractions that exist elsewhere on the internet.

We had to take Natalie back to the doctor yesterday.  We've been battling an ear infection and lung congestion since Spring Break and have been through two rounds of antibiotics and numerous breathing treatments.  But honestly, if the doctor hadn't checked her ears awhile back we never would have known since she's a pretty agreeable child - even when sick.  She's had two rounds of steroid shots to try and knock out the ear infection and we're starting an allergy/asthma breathing medication today to see if we can combat the congestion and wheezing.  

And all of this makes me feel guilty.

Guilty that I didn't breastfeed her long enough and she didn't receive all the good antibodies she would need to fight off this ear infection and keep us out of the doctor's office.

Guilty that Craig and I chose to induce labor a week early in order to save my sanity but in the end perhaps we didn't allow her lungs adequate time to develop and this congestion is a result of that decision.

Those are some pretty heavy things that have been weighing on my heart lately.

And on the really bad nights, those two simple "mommy guilts" turn into full on panic - I made selfish decisions to quit breastfeeding and induce labor too early.  I am a selfish person.  Selfish people should not be mothers, which leads to the hardest one...

I shouldn't have become Natalie's mother.

And down the rabbit hole we go.

Craig has done his best to assure me that everything wrong in our little universe is not, despite how I might feel, ALL MY FAULT.  He has terrible, awful allergies and spends much of the first ten minutes after he wakes up in the mornings coughing and congested.  How we have done our best to combat her issues with the medical advice and prescriptions that have been given to us.  

But he doesn't quite understand the power of motherly guilt.  From the moment a woman finds out that she is pregnant, there is a barrage of information on how what to eat, how to sleep, what to buy and above all things DON'T EAT NUTS, FISH, SANDWICH MEAT AND NEVER CONSUME COFFEE OR ANY OTHER CAFFEINE.

And don't forget to swaddle, use cloth diapers, never put them down, scratch that - you MUST let them cry it out and self soothe, breastfeed for at least six months but still go back to work and provide for your family, absolutely no pacifiers....well maybe if they need comfort, make your own organic baby food but don't introduce it TOO early for fear of childhood obesity and don't forget to purchase only wooden toys that were made in the USA far from the reaches of China's lead poisoning.

Yikes.  The message that is put out there to pregnant and new mothers is that if you don't follow a specific course of parenting (and there are LOTS of choices out there!).......you obviously don't love your child and therefore your child is doomed.

And there are many women out there that receive that message, analyze it and brush it off like it ain't no big thing.  They find it so easy to say "to-may-to" while the other side is saying "to-mah-to" and that's that.  You have your opinion on childrearing and I have mine.  I'm going to raise my child the best way I see fit and not think another thing about it.

I am not this person.

For whatever reason, I feed into the hype.  Of COURSE I want to give my child the best start in life.  Of COURSE I want her to be healthy and connected to myself and her father.  Of COURSE I want her to be age-appropriately sensory and creatively stimulated.  As any mother that loves their child, why wouldn't I want those things for her?  I'm a data and facts driven person who doesn't always trust herself.  So if other people have research to back up their claims whereas I just have "my mother did things this way" then that causes a conundrum for me.

I don't really know where this post is going at this point in time.  I honestly did not set out for this to be a diatribe about my anxiety when it comes to parenting my daughter.  I'm not demeaning or denouncing any other woman's choices when making parenting decisions for their child.  I'm actually a little jealous of those women to whom decision making come easy.  Who actually don't sweat the small stuff.  Who can make their choice, see others making different choices and not continually question or beat themselves up over it.  

Ugh.  Enough whining already, right?!

Alright.  I'm shutting this down before I truly dig myself a hole that I can't climb out of.  I (tentatively) promise that the next post will something uplifting and incredibly inspiring.

The Sickies

What a week.....

Last Friday Natalie threw up at Ms. Rebecca's house around 10:00 so I left school and picked her up and was at home the rest of the day with her.  She didn't throw up anymore and was acting quite normally so Craig and I proceeded with our previously made plans.  We met my parents for dinner and handed off Natalie to them and we headed off to the Stars game.  Natalie stayed with my parents that night and on Saturday morning I got up early, got a hair-cut and then we went to pick her up.  That afternoon I got the majority of her birthday planning finished up and now I just have a lot of projects to get through in the next week before her party.  

Sunday morning I woke up sick.  Really, really....sick.  Nothing was staying down and with no signs of it stopping, Craig grabbed Natalie and vacated the house by 11:00 that morning with Craig dropping Natalie at his mother's house before he went to his select basketball try-outs.  By 5:00 that afternoon when Craig came home, I was in the fetal position on the floor of the bathroom making my peace with God because I was sure that I wouldn't be living through the night.

It was that bad.

Thank goodness for CVS - Craig was able to buy me some anti-nausea and stomach flu medicine which knocked me out fora  good two hours and allowed me some much needed sleep.  Natalie stayed the night at my mother-in-laws house because we were certain that she did not need to get the germs BACK from me.  I spent all day Monday at home in my bed curled up with my two pups, unable to get up and move around much at all.  I was looking forward to getting my baby girl back at home with me in the evening but unfortunately that was derailed when Craig came home early from track practice because he had caught my bug and had thrown up at school.

Sigh.

I filled him with medicine and we spent the night on the couch and on the bed watching television without our baby girl.  But even though we were missing her neither of us was in any condition to handle an active almost one-year-old.

I went back to work on Tuesday while Craig stayed home and recovered in bed with the pups.  We got Natalie back after school on Tuesday and I was so happy to see her.  Of course there was a little part of my brain that nagged at me "she hasn't seen you in two days, she's forgotten all about you."  But of course that wasn't the case and Craig and I both got lots of big hugs and love.

The rest of the week went by without any major incidents - we both had a track meet on Wednesday night and we all spent the last few nights just hanging out at home.  I guess we needed to lie low after the crazy start to the week.  I'm just thankful that we're all past this junk and we only have one more week until Spring Break!

Product Placement

It's been a rough couple of weeks in our house due to Natalie's severe allergy to sleeping.  For the past week and a half Craig and I have been up and down with her almost every night and many nights I slept with her cuddled up next to me in our bed.  Okay.  SHE slept next to me while I mildly dozed.  We couldn't really figure out what was wrong with her and we went through our mental checklist repeatedly.  No snotty nose.  Just a mild and rare cough.  No fever (except for one day).  Fine during the day.  No teeth poking through the gums.  Eating well and normal bowel movements.  There wasn't really anything that stood out to us as a problem that would keep her up at night.  Finally while giving her a nighttime bottle I realized that she was snorting and snoring just a bit which led me to believe that she might have some deep congestion up in her nasal passages.  I didn't think it was anything worth taking her to the doctor over so we just headed up to Target to see what we could get over the counter to help with the congestion.  

And I found this thing and I think it has helped tremendously.......at least I know that she is sleeping better.  It's a plug-in vapor mist thing that makes her whole room smell like VaporRub without me having to smear it on her chest.  You just change out the insert every night and it lasts about eight hours and has a cool blue nightlight attached as well.  Combined with some saline and decongestant drops up her nose, the congestion has improved and she is sleeping a lot better during the night.  

So if you every have a stuffy baby nose this winter I would highly suggest buying this product!  Heck - I would use it for Craig and myself if we ever have a sinus infection or something!

Hospital Stay

Craig and I have been in and out of hospitals over the course of the past few days trying to figure out what exactly is causing the redness, swelling and tenderness in his left knee, right around the surgery site. He had been doing so well with his physical therapy and was beginning to see the end of the knee pain tunnel this sudden onset of symptoms really threw him for a loop.

Long story short, he spent Friday night in the hospital running all sorts of tests trying to figure out if there was any kind of infection or blood clot in his leg and eventually all the signs pointed towards "cellulitis" which is a sort of bacterial infection in his knee. We were sent home from the hospital on Saturday armed with antibiotics and pain medication with a follow-up appointment scheduled for yesterday (Monday) morning.

Unfortunately, Monday morning's meeting with the knee surgeon did not yield good results and Craig was sent onto an internal medicine doctor who could better treat Craig's illness. This particular doctor told Craig that he needed to be admitted to the hospital for at least two days in order to recieve copious amounts of antibiotics through an IV in order to treat his cellulitis. Craig's family and I met him in the ER where he was being seen by the ER doctor as well as the internal medicine doctor that was on-call.

As we all probably know, the emergency room is not known for it's quickness and at 10:30, after sitting in the room for almost four hours...Craig and I were getting antsy and angry. A doctor came in and told us that he and this other specialist had reviewed all of Craig's tests and they decided that the best course of action would be to send us home with some stronger antibiotics. Needless to say, we were both upset, angry and most of all confused. Not that I didn't want to sleep in my own bed and cuddle with my puppy that night, but we were both under the impression that Craig's condition was serious and needed to be treated in a hospital. This doctor did not have very good bedside manners and after a tense discussion promptly left our room promising to send the other doctor to see us and answer our questions. To which I answered "when will that be...after ANOTHER two hours of waiting?" I was getting frustrated for Craig - he was sitting on this uncomfortable bed without any of the medicine in his system that this doctor was saying he needed.

We waited a bit longer and then I knew I had to make a decision. Neither of our mother's were there to take control of the situation and as his wife, I knew it was up to me to fight for the care and answers that Craig deserved. I ventured into the hallway and down to the nurse's station where I found our good-natured nurse, Greg. He and I discussed what was going on and he helped me to better understand the nature of healthcare politics...basically the doctor Craig saw in the afternoon did not have the jurisdiction to automatically place Craig in the hospital, but instead had to refer him to the ER hospital doctors to look over and then reevaluate. That was the crucial bit of information that we needed to hear. I asked to speak with the other doctor and told Greg that regardless of whether we were going to be admitted to the hospital or sent home, things needed to move quickly because we're both tired and more importantly...Craig doesn't feel good and he's getting angry.

Shortly thereafter, the ER internal medicine specialist doctor came in and she was truly an angel. She didn't look that much older than me and she plopped herself in the rolling chair and began going through Craig's knee history with him from the very beginning with the surgery in April. She listened to everything he had to say and asked important questions about the onset of his symptoms and the tests that had been run the previous weekend. After Craig said his piece she went step by step through the hospital procedures (diagnosis, admittance etc) as well as thoroughly described the illness that is afflicting Craig at this point in time. She answered all our questions and listened diplomatically as well as compassionately to our frustrations. At no point in time was she condescending or rude and she always made sure to affirm the fact that Craig was in fact, in pain and very ill. She just had a way of calming him down and reassuring us that sending us home with stronger antibiotics would, in fact, be the best course of action at this time. Again...not that we didn't want to go home, we had just been led to believe that Craig's situation was very poor and needed the immediate and intense type of care that only a hospital could provide. In the end I felt like hugging her around the neck, but instead opted for a handshake and a heartfelt "thank you." Craig got loaded up on antibiotics and pain meds and we hit the road to come back home.

We are grateful to be able to take care of his sickness at home and he will be staying home from school for the rest of the week in order to give his body the time it needs to heal itself. I am so glad that all my prayers were answered and through all of this, I truly feel closer to Craig. I also am really proud of the fact that I was able to step up and calmly but firmly make my feelings heard and get the things necessary for Craig's health accomplished.

And on a side note, we got our sod laid down today...we now have a gorgeous and green front yard!

Guilt Stricken

Angie woke me up at 1:30, 3:30, 4-something, a little after 5:00...the times get a little blurry after that...this morning to use the potty outside. After a few trips I was worried about what was wrong with her digestive system so I carried my LED flashlight downstairs with me and spotlighted her butt while she used the bathroom in the darkness of the night.

You should have seen the glare I got from my dog.

Unfortunately, my worst fears were confirmed...Angie had diarrhea...again. Sigh. I waited until this morning to make sure that it wasn't a one-off thing and sure enough around 9:30 she had another...experience. I called the vet and made an appointment for 4:00 this afternoon. I felt like I was overreacting a bit so hastily making an appointment for her, but after she had been so sick a couple weeks ago, I wasn't going to take any chances.

Sure enough, I was correct when she tested "faintly positive" for Giardia, which is kind of like a tummy virus for dogs and cats. I feel absolutely TERRIBLE because this disease is passed through the infected stools of other animals or through infected water. I know that it's just something that happens - animals and humans get sick. I know that my house is clean and so is the yard...but I just feel so guilty. Like I didn't take good enough care of her the first time so now she's sick again.

In my defense, the vet did say that Giardia in the area that I live has the tendency (for whatever reason) to be a little stronger and more resistant to medication. It's not surprising that she has another bout with the illness and now requires stronger doses of the medicine. I'm just hoping that she gets better quick because she is due to stay at my parent's house with the cousins starting a week from tomorrow while we are out of town vacationing in the Bahamas. I would really like to leave town knowing that my darling dog is okay...and not going to get Andy and Annabelle sick.

As we were leaving the store, I felt terrible for little Angie because she had lots of awful tests run on a particularly...sensitive area of her body so I stopped by the toy aisle. Yes, I know that indulging children is bad, but she has chewed through most of her toys and I have had several people tell me that Nylabones are the strongest toys to buy for such skilled chewers like Angie. I bought two different ones and right now she is thoroughly enjoying one...we'll see how long they last. The good news is that the Penicillin shot that she received has already worked as she is much perkier than she was a few hours ago.

But I still feel guilty.