Toddlers and Technology

My school district is in the midst of a complete curriculum and philosophical overdrive in an effort to better prepare kids for their future careers but also to attract and engage every learner in the classroom.  As part of this new focus our district is slowly switching over to Apple products for both teachers and students to utilize for lesson planning, instruction, student discovery and assessment.  

But that's all pretty boring stuff so I'll get to the real reason I brought that up...

We now have two iPads in our house and when you combine that with a very curious two-year-old...there has to be some guidelines, expectations and consequences.  So this is kind of an outline that we've been implementing and using with Natalie as she gets older and more aware of the technology that is found in our everyday lives.

Let me first preface this by saying - Craig and I thought long and hard about introducing not only an iPad to Natalie, but even allowing her to watch television.  Up until her second birthday she really didn't even watch television (nor was she interested) and I was very adamant on the whole NO SCREEN TIME philosophy for her.  I wanted her to be able to play on her own without a piece of technology doing the entertaining.  So for the longest time even our cell phones were off limits (and honestly, they still are!) because I wanted her to understand the concept of waiting to be served food at a restaurant or being patient in the cart during grocery shopping.  So for Natalie to be allowed to play on the iPad is pretty hard for me because I desperately want to avoid that technozombie child.

First things first: KNOW YOUR SETTINGS

There are tons of ways to make your iPad "safe" for toddlers and big kids while they play which will make your life infinitely easier as well as give you some peace of mind.

*Disclaimer - I have ALL my apps in folders because I don't like clutter or messes, nor do I like using more than one screen.*

Go to your settings app and open it up - this is kind of like the "control panel" on a computer.

You want to click first on GENERAL then scroll down to RESTRICTIONS - this is the place where you will hold all the iPad power!

Go ahead and "Enable Restrictions" but don't forget to remember your passcode!

And on another note - all our Apple devices (iPads and phones) are LOCKED and must have a passcode entered before the device can be used.  Therefore when sneaky little hands get their paws on the device...it isn't much fun because they can't access anything!

There's a bunch of different settings and restrictions that you can change once you're into this section but I feel the MOST important is turning OFF the "In-App Purchases" so you can avoid being like these parents whose children ran up thousands of dollars with the "in-app purchase" feature of certain apps.

For the bigger kids who might be watching videos or playing games on the iPad, you can also customize the rating of the game or movie that you don't want them watching (nothing over PG, for example).  

Just beware that when you mess with ALL the restrictions it can sometimes rearrange your apps if you have them all in folders and then you have to spend time reorganizing them and putting them back in nice and neat little folders.  Obviously, I know from experience.  

Secondly: SET EXPECTATIONS AND FOLLOW THROUGH

In the very beginning of our iPad adventure I sat down with Natalie and had a long discussion (as long as you can have with a wiggly two-year-old) about the iPad and the responsibility that came along with it.  

It sounds much more serious than it really was, trust me.

What I really did was show her the basic skills needed - how to open her folder, click on the app and exit out when she was done.  

But more importantly, I looked right in her eye and said very seriously "These are the only games you can play.  If you open a game that is not in this folder, you will lose iPad privileges."

And then Craig and I STUCK.  TO.  IT.

The first few times she was allowed to play on the iPad she definitely tried to open up some of my other folders and she quickly learned that Momma and Daddy were not joking around.  And quite frankly, she also realized that our apps were just not as fun as hers because grown-up apps don't have Elmo, dancing monkeys or funny monsters.  

Of course when she lost her privilege of playing games, she pouted, cried and even stomped off but Craig and I held firm.  We put the iPad out of her reach and became a broken record to her pleas of "PAD!  PAD!  PAD!"  We repeated over and over in the calmest of voices, "You didn't follow the iPad rules so the iPad goes away.  If you want to be upset about this, please go to the stairs and come back when you've calmed down."  And from here I could go off on a tangent about discipline but I'm just going to stop and say this - for the most part, I have a fairly obedient child who wants to make her parents happy by doing the right thing, so this mantra works with her for the time being.

But now that we are several months into iPad territory I am able to let her play on the iPad on the mat in the bathroom while I am taking a shower and she knows her boundaries.  She understands that she has her special folder with that crazy Elmo, that dancing monkey and those funny monsters and that the rest of the iPad is generally off-limits.  

And lastly: TECHNOLOGY IS A PRIVILEGE

When children are very little their life is about cause and effect.  

What will happen when I build a huge tower and then knock it down?  

How many times will Momma pick up my sippy cup after I throw it to the ground?

If I throw a huge fit in the check-out line will I get that chocolate bar?  

What will Momma do if I pop out of bed twenty times after saying "night-night?"  

Although frustrating at times, this is very normal behavior and you can't really control the fact that kids are going to test the boundaries.

Remember Jurassic Park when the highly intelligent velociraptors were testing the different areas of the electric fence to find the weak spot where they could escape?  Yeah.  Little kids are JUST like that.  They're just little baby velociraptors.

But honestly, as parents and adults we cannot control the behavior they choose to have but we CAN control how we respond which will ultimately curb their behavior in the future.  If you give into that candy bar in the check-out line because of a temper tantrum the child has now learned that throwing a fit will get him what he wants.  

So how does this fit in with technology?  We use it as a reward or a treat for following directions and being sweet and respectful, not as a distraction from negative behavior.  It might be five o'clock on a Tuesday night and maybe Natalie has had a really great day so I praise her for all the great behaviors she showed during the day and allow her a little iPad time before dinner.  But if she's been fairly rotten and asks to play a game?  Nope.  Not going to happen.  I really think the key is putting it plainly to the child in cause and effect terms.  "This was the expectation, you did this so here is the reward or consequence."  Even the littles can understand this concept and hopefully by being clear in expectations and following through with consequences or rewards, you can change their behavior for the better in the future.

Sidenote: Love and Logic....best disciplinary strategies EVER.  Useful for both parents of all ages and for teachers.  It really focuses on setting expectations and then allowing the child to hold responsibility for their actions.  This mindset has made my classroom management such a breeze and I rarely ever raise my voice while teaching.  I can't say enough good things about their philosophy.

And in closing...

We don't have this technology and parenting thing completely figured out.  This is one area of raising Natalie that Craig and I feel we are totally in the dark about because it wasn't an issue our parents had to deal with when we were growing up.  I can't look back and tweak what my mother and father did with me and technology because all we had a VCR and a Nintendo.  And that was it.  (And it took a lot of convincing on my brother's part to even get those things!)  

Technology and young children is a wholly 21st century issue and I think as parents we have to be mindful of the impact technology can have on the cognitive, emotional and physical development of a child, both in positive and negative aspects.  But there are also some wonderful things that we can use technology for in this day and age - being able to keep in contact with distant friends and relatives, exploring the world outside our tiny little bubble in the suburbs and helping manage menial everyday tasks while simultaneously reducing disposable waste.

Like I tell my students when they are elected to be group leaders in class - with great power comes great responsibility.  We cannot give our children the great power of technology without handing them the expectations to use it responsibly and then holding them accountable.

And finally...make sure you get a good screen protector because little velociraptor hands are sticky, slimy and snotty.

Bloglovin

Don't forget that Google Reader is disappearing come Monday so be sure to follow my blog with Bloglovin!

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

A Call for Grace

Craig and I ran into an old friend of ours last night at the local sports bar while watching Game 7 of the NBA Finals. It had been awhile since she and I had gotten a chance to catch up and since we had last REALLY talked, many changes had occurred in her life. Changes that seem to be ultimately beneficial for all parties involved, but while in the process were extremely painful, shameful and destructive.  As with many little-big towns like the one we live in, I had heard rumors through the grapevine about everything that had happened...but like when dealing with middle school rumors, I believed only half of what I heard.  I figured that if she wanted me to know the story, she would fill me in but I owed her a listening ear and an unbiased heart.

As we sat at the table and cheered (and then groaned) our way through the basketball game, my friend turned to me and said something to the effect of "I thought you were disappointed in me or mad at me for what happened." I nearly spit out my beer. "Why on Earth would I be upset with you? You don't owe me an explanation or an apology.  That's between you and God...your forgiveness and reconciliation has nothing to do with me."  She immediately relaxed, smiled and mentioned that giving grace was one of her favorite qualities about me. I thanked her and tried to brush off her compliment with a remark about my own checkered and wildly sinful past while we refocused on the game. 

But my thoughts kept churning through the rest of the evening. 

Grace. I've been chewing on that word ever since Natalie was born. Our children must have boundaries, rules and expectations to live by in order to become productive members of society. But in order to be a compassionate and considerate person....they must also have a healthy dose of grace extended to them from the people who love them the most. 

But I think it's such a misunderstood word. Grace is not a free pass or revoking consequences. It is not blindly loving or wearing rose-colored glasses.  Extending grace doesn't mean condoning or supporting the negative behavior but it does mean acknowledging the frailty of the human condition, the fact that we are all sinners while providing an example of Jesus' most important command...love one another. 

The moment I extended grace to my old friend and shook my head at her concerns of my disapproval, I saw her spirit lift and her shoulders perk. I wasn't another person condemning her or brandishing her with the scarlet letter. I was another sinner struggling through my own misgivings and missteps saying "I will love you through this." 

And why should we extend grace to one another? Because it is the greatest gift that God gives to us everyday as we trip, stumble and fall along the path we are trying to walk with Jesus.  Every day as I speak too harshly and lose patience with Natalie, get frustrated and snap at my husband or envy the owner of the brand new Lexus down the street....God provides me with grace and forgiveness. If I want to truly be an example of how I was made in His image, I must afford those around me the same grace and forgiveness that He provides me. 

But also from a practical point of view, I also don't believe in kicking a dog when they are down serves any useful or productive purpose and I tried my best to demonstrate this with my athletes. After a loss, whether it be hard fought or an easy defeat.....my girls' faces were filled with disappointment, frustration and even shame. Berating them in the post game huddle would have squashed their burgeoning love for the game and made the entire season miserable for them and for me.  My job as their coach was not to yell at them and make them feel worse but instead to teach them how to pick themselves up and focus their eyes on the next game while figuring out how to avoid tripping in the future. Of course I would go home and vent and fume about the game to my husband, but it was never about the girls' performance....it was about what I could do as their leader to help them overcome the obstacles they faced. In order to get the best out of people they have to know you believe in them and that belief Is conveyed through grace. Period. 

And that is what I think we are called to do....not discourage one another from living a Christ-filled life by judgment and condemnation, but instead help our friends along the treacherous path of life through grace and encouragement. 

Staying Settled....For Now

To say that I have an overactive imagination is quite the understatement.

This can be very good since it allows me to explore all opportunities, outcomes and possibilities.  

This can be very bad since it allows me to explore all opportunities, outcomes and possibilities.

So when Craig mentioned a job opening a few miles (okay, an hour drive time) away from where we currently live, my mind started spinning.  I was looking at houses, searching for jobs and imagining a slower, less materialistically driven lifestyle.  I pictured Natalie growing up in a small town with the opportunity to play multiple sports and be involved in all school activities.  I imagined us knowing our neighbors and having barbecues together in a manner similar to a Norman Rockwell painting.  There were visions of relaxation, less commitments and a focus back on each other.

While Craig was merely sending in his resume and thought the whole gig was a crapshoot, I was miles down the road and envisioning ourselves in an entirely new life.

I didn't realize how badly I wanted to get out of here and start fresh in a small town until the possibility was staring me in the face.  I didn't realize how claustrophobic living in our suburb can be until it seemed there might be another option.  Suddenly the planes streaming towards DFW seemed louder and more frequent.  Traffic became more congested and obnoxious than before.  Everything about living in a major metropolitan area seemed amplified....and I realized that I'm ready to turn the volume down.

But it looks like that possibility has blown away in the wind and our lives will remain where we currently reside.

And my heart is a little heavy from that knowledge.

So we'll stay where we are at and there is obviously comfort in the known.  No packing or moving, no change of insurance or doctors, Natalie stays with her beloved Ms. Rebecca and I stay close to my friends and parents.  

But I did give Craig permission to keep looking and keep sending out his information.  And I'll keep praying for not only the opportunities to come available, but that we are ready to take that leap whenever the time comes.  

The Ugly Cry

I cried the ugly cry last night.

You know, the one where you've just a few too many cocktails and suddenly everything is JUST. SO. SAD. Your shoulders start heaving and you're squeaking trying to hold in the sobs until the floodgates open and mascara starts streaming down your face while your husband says bewilderedly "I thought we had a good time? And everything was fine?" 

Yeah.  It was THAT kind of crying. 

What for, you ask?

A myriad of things, really...the end of the school year is always emotional for me because I get attached to my 8th graders and its hard to watch them move onto high school. This year was made infinitely more difficult because I'm hanging up my coaching hat to wear the full-time teacher cap. As I knew it would be, this transition is so incredibly bittersweet. I love watching girls fall in love with sports. I love watching them set goals, strive for greatness and overcome obstacles. Playing sports created so many defining characteristics through tough practices, conflicts with teammates and coaches, and the glory of a well-deserved win. When I coached my girls, I tried to keep in mind that I would be forever etched in their mind as their "middle school volleyball coach" and I had control over whether or not that was a good or bad memory. 

I didn't become a teacher because I love math SO much (although, I really do). I became a teacher because I wanted to leave something on this earth that was bigger than me. I wanted to make an impact in children's lives. There is so much ugliness in the world that our children see and experience. I can't erase the rejection by a parent, or the years of abuse by a loved one....but I can offer a safe place to land for forty-five minutes during the day. I can have an open door policy that allows for communication, a listening ear and advice....when asked. I can show my students the unconditional love that they might be lacking elsewhere.  Yes. Love. I have to love these kids in order to teach them. I have to be invested in who they are, where they come from and where they are headed.

So I cried because I'm scared at this next step. I'm worried that my sphere of influence in the lives ofstudents will shrink due to the nature of being a math teacher. I dread the day my athletes come to me complaining about their new volleyball coach. Or even worse...they tell me how awesome she is and how much they love playing for her. I'm terrified that all these people are excited about my new position and believe that I'm going to do great....and what if I'm not. What if I've been faking my way through this whole teaching gig and I'm really not that great at disseminating information, organizing curriculum and preparing kids for a MAJOR state test? 

And then I cried because of an overwhelming sense of loss. 

My first three years in the classroom were spent at a school where the teaching environment and th comrade rue amongst the teachers was pure magic. There were fun pranks on fellow teachers, happy hours every week and tons of wedding and baby showers celebrating each others major life events. There was a tight-knit group of us that weren't just co-workers, but great friends as well....and I know this contributed to the success of our students and the overall atmosphere in the school. During this time, the girls athletics program won at least six district championships not JUST because we had a run of fabulous athletes, but I think the girls had a great understanding of teamwork because the four of us coaches MODELED teamwork and friendship for them on a daily basis. 

One of these great teacher friends I made during this time was my mentor teacher who took me under her wing while I was student teaching in 8th grade math. She was young, cool and laid back. She also was a former party girl and understood why I was always dragging on Monday mornings. Through my year of student teaching, she became more than just my mentor teacher....but a great friend as well. I would sit with her and her bestie at lunch everyday and I learned so much about teaching , being a wife and motherhood. They became the older sisters that I never had. 

And she's moving. To Colorado. Sigh. 

I'm upset and sad not just because I'm going to miss seeing her at in-services or at swim dates during the summer....but also because its the end of an era. Another important face of those three wonderful years at MMS that is gone. 

At this end-of-school party the other night, most of that old gang was there to celebrate the end of another year, but also to say good-bye to a dear friend. It was lovely...all of us being back together, having drinks, laughing at our crazy antics and marveling at the quickness that time seems to pass. I cried because I miss that camaraderie. Yes, I have a bestie at my new school...but it's not the same. I miss going to work excited to see all my friends.  I miss the kids knowing that if I wasn't in my room in the mornings to check next door with the other volleyball coach - because we were a matched set, where you found one of us the other wasn't far away. I miss conspiring for our yearly prank on the basketball coach - we've tipped over desks, decorated his room in Michigan State (for the devout Michigan fan) and printed off huge pictures of ourselves and taped them to the walls. 

I miss the easiness of it all....we came to work, did our best to teach the kids we had while trying not to take it all too seriously. We knew the lessons we were preparing were tried and true - and we had the test scores to prove it. Because of the educational atmosphere alive and well today in my district, the state and the nation....teaching is stressful. Am I incorporating enough technology?  Are the parents going to contest this very low but very well-DESERVED grade by their child?  Am I going to be docked points on my appraisal for a lack of technology in this ONE lesson they are observing?  Am I strategically designing my lessons? I guess I've been involved in education for long enough to see the changing of tides....and also long enough to know that I've invested far too much time and energy into it to bail out now and find something else to do.

So, I cried the ugly cry while Craig patiently patted my hand and reminded me how much I hate change, but despite my fear of the unknown....it always somehow works itself out.  And he's right.  I'll sit here next year and laugh at my fears of teaching math.  Of course there will be moments when I sit at my desk and wonder WHY DID I DO THIS?!  But when it's all said and done...life moves on, math will be taught, friendships will remain despite the distance but I also have to remember that not everything in our lives is meant for permanence....that's why God gives us the power of memories.  

Blog Lovin APP

As most of you know, Google Reader is being eliminated come July 1st and therefore we will all have to find other ways to catch up on all our bloggy friends.  

The main site that I have found to keep following all your favorite blogs is BLOGLOVIN but I had been hesitant to test it out because I was afraid that it would be difficult to transfer my reader roll of blogs.

I was very, very wrong.  It was incredibly easy and took a matter of minutes.  

1. Sign up and then verify your email address.

2. When it asks you if you want to transfer your blogs from Google Reader, click YES.

Done.

So simple, right?!

And because I like things organized and orderly, I went ahead and took it one step further and created a little Bloglovin app on my iPad since that's where I do a lot of my reading these days.  

Again...this is something that sounds so difficult but is SUPER easy to execute.

First - open up your new Bloglovin home page on your iPad or iPhone.  In the header bar at the top, you should see a little box with an arrow popping out.  Click on that button.

Second - you will see this screen pop up.  You want to "add to home screen" because this is what will create an "app" that will bring up your personal Bloglovin page when you click on it.

Third - title your new app whatever you want.  I stuck with the very simple 'Bloglovin.'

And ta-da!  Your new Bloglovin app should pop up on your homescreen!  

Hope this helps your transition from Google Reader to Bloglovin!

Meal Planning Part Deux

A few weeks ago I wrote THIS post about how Craig and I have rehabilitated the way we eat due to his diagnosis of Diabetes II back in January.  Here's a little two part follow-up with pictures to help you get an idea of how I plan and execute meals for my family.

This is my menu board that hangs next to the pantry and across from the laundry room.  There are multiple ideas for this kind of board floating all over Pinterest - I just bought a see-through frame at Target and a few pieces of scrapbook paper at Hobby Lobby.  

This is the family calendar that hangs next to the menu board so that I can keep track of what we are doing and when we are supposed to be doing it.  That way I can check our plans for the week and see exactly what nights we will be home for dinner.

And as far as the super cute calendar?  It's Craig's yearly Christmas gift to me - he pulls pictures from the year and creates it for me.

As you can see...the schedule for this week goes something like this:

Sunday: BBQ Chicken Salad Sandwiches

Monday: Skinny Chicken Pesto and red potatoes

Tuesday: Craig has basketball practice so Natalie and I will eat leftovers

Wednesday: Fish tacos

Thursday: Last day of school so we will be hitting up the parties!

On an average week, I'm cooking about three of the nights and the rest are leftovers or restaurants (mainly on the weekend).  I also pack my lunch with leftovers or a small salad to take to school with me.

This morning, after I quickly planned out the meals for this week I headed out to Tom Thumb (by myself!) to grab what we needed for these meals as well as anything that needed to be refilled (snack bags, dish detergent, Sprite, goldfish, etc).  There is that saying that it takes 21 days for a repeated action to become a habit....and after nine months of meal planning like this, I have some sort of Pavlovian response to Sunday mornings and I MUST plan meals and go grocery shopping or I get all itchy inside.

So that's the first part of this post and the second part has to do with this container.

Since Craig and I started eating healthier I haven't bought or cooked with butter, mayonaise or sour cream....AT ALL.  

And to be honest - part of me is incredibly proud....and the other part is so, so wistful.  

But seriously, there are a ton of recipes out there that substitute Greek yogurt but taste remarkably like the original dish.  One of my favorites was a creamy avocado dip that tasted like guacamole but without the extra calories from sour cream.

The big recipe I needed the yogurt for today was BBQ Chicken Salad which I found HERE but unfortunately at my Tom Thumb the only sizes I could find the yogurt in was either individual (and flavored) servings or a full 32 ounce container.  I went ahead and bought the big 32oz. container even though the recipe called for about five ounces of yogurt.

So I made the chicken salad (and it smells delicious) and popped it into the fridge but the yogurt was calling my name.  I knew that if I didn't do something else with it then it would sit in my fridge and go bad and I would be mad at myself for wasting both food and money.  

To Google I went, which is where I found THIS little gem.

Perfect!  A cup of yogurt combined with ingredients I already had in the kitchen and now I have something sweet (and relatively healthy) to serve Craig and Natalie after dinner is over.  Natalie is super big into bananas right now but I think it would also taste great with graham crackers or strawberries!  

And the best part?  Both of these recipes were easy and quick enough for me to complete during Natalie's naptime.