Friday, December 30, 2011

August 2011

The next few posts I'm going to be linking up with Robin at Farewell Stranger who writes a beautifully personal PPD blog.  She's doing a series of blog posts which look back at the wonderful moments of the past year despite struggling through motherhood and PPD.  I'm doing this series along with her because I desperately want to remember the first year of Natalie's life as something positive and beautiful instead of full of pain, frustration, anger, anxiety and darkness.

Craig and I absolutely love Vegas - it's where we go to relax.  Yes.  Relax.  We aren't the people trashed at the roulette table at 4:00 in the morning.  We spent the three days and two nights that we were there eating delicious dinners and getting pampered at the spa.  He might not seem like the type....but Craig loves getting massages.  Who knew?!  
Going out to dinner on the last night - my birthday present from Craig was getting my hair and make-up done professionally!

The view of the strip from our hotel room at the Encore.

Inside the Venetian along the shopping mall.

Oh hey there Matthew.

And a hello to you too Justin T.

Craig and his favorite athlete, the incomparable Michael Jordan.

Yeah right.  Nice try Craig.

My middle brother Mike came and visited and spent time with Natalie.

Craig and I went back to school and Natalie went full-time to Ms. Rebecca's house during the day.

Natalie learned how to sit up on her own - this was such a relief because I could sit her down and give her toys to play with and that made for a much happier baby girl.

See?!  Playing with her dolls in bed.

My third nephew was born on August 22nd - Ian Andrew.  Here are my parents with all four of their grandchildren - Alexander, now 8; Ford, now almost 5; Natalie, now almost 10 months and Ian, now 4 months.

Playing on her four wheeler at Granddaddy and Nonna's house.

Sadly, I think that going back to work full-time helped me to feel more like myself and I was excited about seeing Natalie at the end of the day and I was absolutely a better mother to her in the evenings and on weekends.  There's a lot of disagreement behind some mothers that are firmly in the "stay at home with the children otherwise why did you even decide to have children if you're going to allow someone else to raise them" camp and those mothers that work because they have to for financial reasons ore even because *gasp* they enjoy their career.  I work for a little of both - Craig and I are definitely more financially stable on two incomes and I chose to become a teacher because I enjoy working with students.  I knew that I wasn't cut out for staying at home with Natalie full-time - it's just not how God made me.  For the longest time, I thought that because I wasn't "made" to stay home with her that he had made a mistake by even giving me a child to begin with.  But that's just not the case - God created me to be so much more than just one child's mother.  I am a friend, a sister, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a teacher, a coach, a co-worker....and most importantly, I'm ME.

1 comment:

Erin said...

So, I haven't commented on any of these posts yet, but today I thought I needed to stop and say something. First, I love that you are reflecting on this time that was so tough. I know it can't be easy. I feel the same way about work. Currently, I work full-time. I never thought I wanted to be a mom and I was told I couldn't have kids so it didn't matter. This always made me career focused. However all that changed when I became a mom. I'd do anything for us to be at a place financially that I could stay home. But? We aren't. Really though if I'm honest with myself I could never be home full-time. It's just not who I am. Part-time would be perfection. I think every mom is different. No one should feel guilty for doing what's best for them and their family!!

Hope you all are having a happy new year!