Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Back to school...

Summer vacation is ending and I'm gearing up for another school year. I am definitely ready to go back to school. I am so tired of not having a reason to get up before noon everyday. All in all, it was a pretty great summer.

I began vacation by a two week party binge which ended a few days before I left for Europe.

I was in Europe for two weeks which was an amazing experience and then came home and was out of commission for a week because I had a severe sinus and upper respiratory infection.

I came home and shortly thereafter began dating a great guy.

I took up a new hobby - wakeboarding.

I had two FANTASTIC birthday celebrations - one with friends and the other with my family.

I fell on the wakeboard and found myself in the emergency room and with more pain killers.

Not too shabby for three months.

I definitely am getting antsy though. I'm ready to have something to do during the day. I feel that my self-esteem has kind of gone downhill in the past week and I'm not sure why. I think it's partly because I'm frustrated with hurting my back again. It took soooo long for my back to recover last time and now I have to go through all that again. And of course, I had to hurt it right before volleyball season. I feel so lazy because all I could do for the past four days is lay in bed with a heating pad on my back, watching tv and playing tetris on my phone. Sounds great? Not so much. It got old after a couple of days. I also think that I'm just bored. I don't feel like I'm really contributing to society at the moment. I don't have anything in my life right now that I can feel I am being successful at. Don't get me wrong, I know that in general, I am successful...but at the current moment, I'm not being very successful. I am definitely procrastinating. It's sad, but I'm tired of shopping (well, right now, shopping isn't so much fun because it takes a LOT of effort to get my clothes off - because of my back, you pervs) and I'm also tired of laying out by the pool - it's way to hot for that now.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

It's Been Awhile's been awhile since I've last blogged and I think the reason is that I have actually been really happy for the past month. It's so easy to sit here and be upset or contemplative or depressed and write a whole long entry voicing my frustrations and complaints but when it comes to being happy and writing about's a lot harder.

For those of you keeping score...if you guessed that my six month break would last three months - you win the prize.

At the beginning of July, I went out on a old guy friend's boat and we kind of fell into each other. He's smart, funny, attractive, ambitious and active. We have a great time together - whether it's out with friends, sitting around watching tv or at the lake. He makes me laugh. And he makes me feel good about myself (not that I need his compliments in order to boost my self esteem, but you know). He makes me want to be myself because that's the person that he's attracted to.

It all sounds so great, right?

Unfortunately, there's always a little snag and this time it's a big snag. He used to date one of my very close friends in high school and on and off after we graduated. I'm not going to get into the details of these relationships right now out of respect for my friend. But I would like her to know, if she's reading, that I'm sorry for the communication issues we had. You know that my intention was never to hurt you. I was scared to talk about him to you because I didn't want you to feel like I was rubbing in your face that we were dating. I understand that right now what you need is space, but I hope that in the future we can rebuild our friendship.

Yesterday was my birthday and I had a GREAT time. Friday, a friend of mine from high school and I celebrated our joint birthdays (his is July 28th) by going to dinner in FW and then to our reserved tables complete with bottle service at a chic bar downtown. It was a pretty great night, unfortunately because of our bill, I will NOT be buying any new school clothes. A lot of people gasped at the amount of money he and I layed down for this party....but the way I see it - this is my first real grown up party. I have worked hard for the past few years graduating college and getting a great paying job doing what I love. Why not celebrate my 24th birthday in style? It's not like I'm ever going to do this's definitely not a weekly thing by any means. I felt like I was not only celebrating my 24th birthday but also the fact that I have reached a point in my life where I can look around and feel satisfied. I cleaned my apartment on my birthday - not exactly glamorous, but it needed to be done. When I was finished and I was getting ready to leave to eat dinner with my parents, brother and his crew, the boyfriend and my fairy godmother and her husband, I looked around my apartment and I was satisfied and proud. The bf and I talked about this the other night on the way home from a very successful trip to the lake for a little wakeboarding (I got outside and back inside the wake and rode the board while he did a turn with the boat!!!). I really have no reason to be upset or depressed about my situation in life. I've got a great family and equally wonderful friends. I found a relationship that I'm really excited about (and the feeling is mutual). I have a great job which provides with an ample salary to keep up a fabulous and spacious apartment, a car payment for my awesome Acura, and a closet full of clothes and shoes. What more could I really ask for?

So, as I stand at the edge of a new year of my life and a new school year....I'm satisfied and optimistic. I am feeling pretty confident that I'm going to be okay.