41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today? My mom and dad just to reiterate to them how much I love them and how thankful I am and have always been to have them in my life.
42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous? Probably not seeing as how I'm already extremely attractive and have no desire to be famous. Ha! But all kidding aside...I'm pretty comfortable with the looks God has given me and I really do not want to be famous at all because of all the crap that comes along with it.
43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living? Ugh. I hate questions like this. I think everyone in life fluxuates between "being alive" and "truly living." Sometimes life is strictly about survival through the day, week, month and even year. But I like to think that the tides always change and after a survival period comes a time when you can stretch out, unwind and LIVE life. I'm not sure which I'm in right now.
44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right? For me personally, the "right" think to do is always the choice with the smallest amount of risk and the greatest reward. I'm also okay with sacrificing a little bit of reward just for the security of knowing that my risk isn't that great either. I think the biggest risk that I ever took was dating the hubs because we worked together, he was ten years older than me and at the time that we started dating both of us were dealing with A LOT of baggage. But I suppose the reward was pretty worth the risk.
45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake? I don't think you always KNOW that it's a mistake when you're making it. Most of the time when I've learned from a mistake I didn't realize that it was a mistake until I looked back and thought "hmm...that probably wasn't the best decision I could have made." So I guess that old saying is true "hindsight is 20/20" and therefore since none of us have crystal balls, we are going to keep making mistakes and learning from them - just as long as it isn't the SAME mistake over and over.
46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? I would probably speak what I'm REALLY thinking a lot more.
47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing? Strange question. Probably when I was in labor with Natalie. The pitocin made Natalie's heart rate drop dramatically after a massive contraction and therefore the nurses and doctors went into emergency mode and immediately put an oxygen mask on my face. I was lying on my side facing the fetal monitor and I knew that there was obviously something VERY wrong and so I zoned out and stopped paying attention to what was going on in the room. All I knew at that point was that when I breathed in really deeply, Natalie's heartrate increased and that was good. So while our room was chaotic between nurses and doctors rushing in, out and around and our families nervously exiting the room I was focused on breathing in and out and making sure that my baby was alright.
48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love? I love lots of things and I think I openly express my love for them by continually doing them. I love playing volleyball so I play games every week. I love Natalie's giggles so I work tirelessly to get giggles out of her every morning. I love cuddling with Angie at night while watching Chelsea Handler so I do it every night. I love nightly swims and chats and drinks with Craig so we've made a habit out it.
49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that? I will remember going and helping Kate register at Babies R Us last night because it was just last November that Amy, my mom and I were doing the same thing. I was so overwhelmed and confused about all things baby last fall, but now at the beginning of August I am a pro at navigating the aisles and products. I already have forgotten what I did on Thursday so it obviously wasn't that memorable. I will remember going shopping with Emily on Wednesday because it one of my first ventures back out into the fashionable world with my new post baby body.
50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you? That's what I'm working on. I can make decisions for myself and my family but the tough thing is standing up and defending those decisions without always worrying that people are upset with me for making those decisions.