Okay.....I know I have just THREE more months left on my 2011 review but my computer at work is on the fritz. I mean, for real....the technology department had to be called in and a WORK ORDER was placed. This is serious, y'all. But in all honesty, my screen on my work computer is completely faded out and it's just terrible so I haven't been able to post during my conference period because I want to make sure that I'm choosing the right pictures! Ha!
So here I am at home on Craig's laptop.....here are a few things that we've been up to and things that have been on my mind.
- Yesterday I went to visit my dear friend Kate and her beautiful baby girl Audrey who was born on January 5th. Kate delivered at the same hospital that I did and ironically, she is in the same hospital room as well! Visiting her was the first time that I was back in the hospital since Natalie was born and there was a little bit of nostalgia, a twinge of anxiety, a wave of sadness and the warm fuzziness of good memories. See the thing is.....my best memories from when Natalie was very small all take place in that room. Those cozy cuddles with just Momma and baby girl at 6:00 in the morning. The three days that I was in the hospital feels like the calm before the storm. On the drive over I was nervous that I would really have a panic attack being back in the hospital - especially in the same room, but it was fine. It was better than fine, actually. It was a relief because I had a sad sense of nostalgia - I actually miss those days in the hospital with her because I really was okay and I was happy for those days. I came home telling Craig that I wanted another child. I don't think he'll be letting me visit anymore friends with babies in the hospital.
- I went to meet with my postpartum counselor lady this morning and we actually talked about Craig and I having another child. Maybe it's because I was a Girl Scout (Troop 1320 represent!) but I like to be prepared and with another child, I feel like I would know more of what to expect with pregnancy, delivery and taking care of a newborn. Granted, things will be different because I'll also have a small child to look after....but at least Craig and I would be able to put into place a better support system knowing now how my body and hormones might react post-delivery. It might involve amped up counseling sessions, my mother coming and staying for a longer period of time, vitamin supplements, and even a different plan as to when the baby would be born. With Natalie we thought having a baby in March or April would be best because I would miss the rest of the school year and then she would be older when she started full time day-care. It turns out that what would be best is a June baby because then Craig would be home with me during the hardest part of postpartum - the "up every 2-3 hours" part of having a newborn. And then there's the breastfeeding aspect - I know that it's what is best for my child but at the same time, every single time I went to feed Natalie I nearly had a panic attack. That's not healthy for myself nor my child. So what to do? Well......I need to stop getting ahead of myself because another child is still AT LEAST a year away butt it's good to be in the place where I can optimistically think about being pregnant again.
- This might sound weird but right now I am loving some of the conflict, trials and tribulations that my husband and I have gone through not only in the last year, but specifically in this past week. It's not that I actually enjoy conflict, trials and tribulations but instead I love how it brings my husband and I closer together. I love the fact that we are actively building a strong marriage.
I think that's really it for right now. I started this blog much earlier in the evening but now it is 7:32 and the little monster (bless her sweet little teething heart, but yes....that's what she has been this afternoon/evening) is finally settling down for her bedtime routine with her daddy. I've got the living room to straighten up, her bath area to clean and laundry to wash, dry and fold. I'm a tired Momma right now. At least I have a glass-of-wine-drinking-Charles-Barkley-SNL-watching date with my husband later. Ahh......the life of a grown-up on a Saturday night.