Okay. So now...T minus 12 hours until I meet with my principal tomorrow morning about my future at my school and the decision that Craig and I discussed this morning, I'm starting to get a little bit nervous.
The obvious and best choice is for me to leave my school and move to this other school in our feeder zone. And I can even back it up with reasons:
- Chance to break out from Beri and Craig's shadows. As much as I respect both of them AND all the guidance they have shown me in the past three years, I think it's going to be better for me professionally to move to another school where I'm not always associated with them. I'm a fairly ambitious person and I know that if I stay where I am, I will never be satistified with my status within the district.
- Start fresh with little to no expectations or ill-perceived notions about me. I love the staff at my school, but many of them have known me since I was a student teacher there which was almost four years ago. Many things in my life have changed since then and I have evolved into an adult in those years. I think it has been hard for me to bust the "youthful" impression I made on many staff members four years ago. I want people to see me as the capable adult that I am and not the misdirected youth that I was.
- The challenge of building a program. I was able to step into a very established and successful volleyball program at my current school. My second year, we had a fantastic group of hard working athletes that won the district championship. Through Beri's guidance, I have learned what it takes to run a successful program and inspire athletes to develop their skills, toughen their attitude and perform on the court. I also took a fledgling Cross Country program and grew it by leaps and bounds - I could count the number of drop-outs this year on one hand instead of the HALF of the program that quit a few years ago. In addition to growing the program I also got lucky with a very talented group of 7th grade runners that were able to win the District Championship by one point over our big middle school rival! Having said that, the school that I would be moving to used to be the cream of the crop as far as economic status goes and it was reflected in the strength of their program. In recent years though, the talent or maybe the interest has dropped off and the athletic program in general...is struggling. I could have the opportunity to inject new life and new ideas and not just INHERIT great work ethic, skills, and attitude...but develop from scratch. It won't be easy, but I think that it would be a great learning process for me as well as a personal Mt. Everest.
- It's a safe risk. Changing locations and jobs is always hard. I'm leaving behind everything that I have really ever known in a faculty, in a manner of running things and in students and parents. Moving will be difficult for any number of reasons, but the fact of the matter is that it's going to happen sooner or later. The truth is, within this economy there might not be any desirable positions available in the feeder zones that I want next year. I might have to revert back to my 30 minute commute or even worse...change districts. The idea of my job and my position being in purgatory drove me absolutely nuts this year and I am not even FORCED to leave this year. I can't imagine how stressed I will be at this time next year if I haven't found something that I want and I HAVE to leave. At least this way, I know the area, the general manner of students and parents as well as the high school "bosses" that I would be interacting with.
- I want to make it to March 13, 2010. If I were to stay at my current school, I would most likely move to the PE department and guess who is the head of the department? Craig. I would also stay coaching and guess who will most likely be the Girl's Coordinator at the school? Craig. We would be around each other eight class periods during the day and then come home to each other at night. As strong of a couple that we are, I just think that might be a little too much togetherness. I toyed with the possibility of NOT being around him all day and instead coming home to him, sitting at the dinner table and talking about how our days were. Right now we don't do that because at the end of the school day we really didn't have much else to talk about - we had already discussed stuff during the day. I think that it would be better for us to miss each other during the school day and then look forward to seeing one another during the evening.
I'm anticipating making these points to my principal tomorrow morning and I have a feeling he will probably support my decision. As sad as I'm sure he will be to see me leave, at the end of the day I have to do what is best for Craig and myself.