July 26 - August 1, 2010
How far along?
Just finished 8 weeks - listened to the baby's heartbeat on Monday at the doctor's office!
How big is baby?
This week baby is as big as a raspberry, or about half an inch long. I had to show Craig what a raspberry looks like when were were in the grocery store last week.
What am I creating this week?I was a slacker this week...I didn't look anything up about baby. I think I was so enamored with the fact that I heard the actual heartbeat that I didn't really care about anything else.
How am I feeling?This week was much better than last week. I was able to get some anti-nausea medicine from the doctor and that has definitely been helping. It took a few days to get approved by my health insurance company, but it was well worth the wait. I feel much more confident about going to Europe now that I have this medicine. I've also been much more productive with this medicine in me which helps my emotional state of mind. I thought that I would really love sitting around, doing nothing while Craig took care of things around the house, but it was actually really horrible. We function as a team and work together to keep the house running and I hated feeling like I was letting him down. Now that I feel good enough to get up and do things, I'm much happier because I feel like I am contributing more to the housework.
What's circulating in my brain?Nothing of too much importance. Obviously hearing the heartbeat was a pretty big moment in our lives and I am so glad that we got to share that "first" together. I think it hit him a little harder that we are going to have a little human in just a few short months. I find the whole science of it absolutely crazy - this baby is going to be totally unique because it will be the only person in the world to have a particular mix of Craig and my DNA. Even if we have another child, they each will have different characteristics of both of us...yet will be solely their own person. It's just unbelievable that this little creature that is only 1/2 an inch long will someday be a grown adult like me. It's incredibly mind blowing and I don't know how people can have children and not believe in God and His love for us.
How is Craig dealing with the crazy?
He has been dealing with his own personal crazy because he just finished up his BIG NCAA certified basketball tournament, the Girls of Summer. This was the first year that I actually got to help work the tournament because in the past two years I've either had appendicitis or volleyball camp. I was in charge of checking in college coaches and I must admit, I was a pretty proud little wife when the University of Texas recruiter came in and paid his money for the coaches packet. Craig ended up having 82 teams participating in the tournament as well as approximately 80 college coaches there recruiting. It was a lot of work for him and his two buddies, Ron and Ricky, but I am so, so, so proud of him. Building this tournament into a "big deal" is a huge goal of his and what made me even happier was that when he came home with his payment from the tourney, his first comment about the money was "I'm going to pay off the Best Buy bill and then put the rest in savings for the baby."
What's Angie up to?Angie has had a stressful few days. Craig stayed up near the tournament on Friday night to hang out with some of the college coaches he is good friends with and since it was the first night for me to take my new medicine, I was a little nervous about staying alone. My mom came up around 6:00 on Friday night and we had the best time eating dinner at Chili's, chatting with my friend Emily, walking the dog and talking about Baby. Angie on the other hand, was VERY confused as to why her Nonna was staying at the house and not her daddy. Her befuddlement grew as my mother and I started laying out clothes for our trip to Europe. She knows that something is different and she has her worried face on...a lot. But she will get through this with the help of her cousin dogs with whom she will be staying for the two weeks that we will be gone.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Week 7
July 19 - July 25, 2010
How far along?
Just finished up the 7th week and looking forward to our 8 week appointment (complete with sonogram hopefully) on Monday!
How big is baby?
Baby is the size of a blueberry.
What am I creating this week?
The arm and leg buds are starting to show up this week - hopefully long legs for basketball and volleyball!
How am I feeling?
This week was pretty terrible. I worked the high school volleyball tournament from 8:00 until 3:30 everyday and it wore me out. I had a lot of morning (and evening) sickness and getting up and ready in the morning took a LONG time. I'm so thankful that I am in my first trimester during the summer and that I don't have to get up and go do a job during this time. I don't mind having a head cold and being stuffed up, but I absolutely detest being nauseous. Ugh. Tuesday night was pretty bad so I ended up taking Wednesday off from volleyball camp and stayed home to take care of myself. I felt a little bit guilty leaving the other coaches short staffed, but I had to put my health first.
What's circulating in my brain?
I've been pretty overwhelmed this week between volleyball camp, feeling sick and the prospect of our two week Europe trip looming over my head. And then as soon as we come home from that, we immediately start school again. It's a bit much to take in, but at least I know that my school year will essentially end in the middle of March when I have this baby.
How is Craig dealing with the crazy?
Oh Craig. He has been phenomenal this week. From bringing me chicken noodle soup, water, grapes and apples to waking up at midnight to help me up off the floor of the bathroom when I feel sick. He has really stepped up to the plate and has made me realize that he "gets" it now. I think now that I'm really starting to feel the effects of this baby, he is doing everything and anything he can to make life easier for me. I don't have a lot of energy due to just being pregnant in the first trimester, but also in addition to my tummy never feeling quite right. He is totally taking care of the house and making sure that the messes stay contained, the bills get paid and Angie is fed. Love, love, love him this week.
What's Angie up to?
Angie is earning her wings up in heaven. If I'm up at night, she's up at night. The other night when I was in the spare bathroom at midnight, she was right next to me on the floor and putting her head on my lap when possible. I can tell she is worried about me and I think that she definitely "knows" that something is different about Mom. She really has been an angel to me this week by being the best little nurse.
How far along?
Just finished up the 7th week and looking forward to our 8 week appointment (complete with sonogram hopefully) on Monday!
How big is baby?
Baby is the size of a blueberry.
What am I creating this week?
The arm and leg buds are starting to show up this week - hopefully long legs for basketball and volleyball!
How am I feeling?
This week was pretty terrible. I worked the high school volleyball tournament from 8:00 until 3:30 everyday and it wore me out. I had a lot of morning (and evening) sickness and getting up and ready in the morning took a LONG time. I'm so thankful that I am in my first trimester during the summer and that I don't have to get up and go do a job during this time. I don't mind having a head cold and being stuffed up, but I absolutely detest being nauseous. Ugh. Tuesday night was pretty bad so I ended up taking Wednesday off from volleyball camp and stayed home to take care of myself. I felt a little bit guilty leaving the other coaches short staffed, but I had to put my health first.
What's circulating in my brain?
I've been pretty overwhelmed this week between volleyball camp, feeling sick and the prospect of our two week Europe trip looming over my head. And then as soon as we come home from that, we immediately start school again. It's a bit much to take in, but at least I know that my school year will essentially end in the middle of March when I have this baby.
How is Craig dealing with the crazy?
Oh Craig. He has been phenomenal this week. From bringing me chicken noodle soup, water, grapes and apples to waking up at midnight to help me up off the floor of the bathroom when I feel sick. He has really stepped up to the plate and has made me realize that he "gets" it now. I think now that I'm really starting to feel the effects of this baby, he is doing everything and anything he can to make life easier for me. I don't have a lot of energy due to just being pregnant in the first trimester, but also in addition to my tummy never feeling quite right. He is totally taking care of the house and making sure that the messes stay contained, the bills get paid and Angie is fed. Love, love, love him this week.
What's Angie up to?
Angie is earning her wings up in heaven. If I'm up at night, she's up at night. The other night when I was in the spare bathroom at midnight, she was right next to me on the floor and putting her head on my lap when possible. I can tell she is worried about me and I think that she definitely "knows" that something is different about Mom. She really has been an angel to me this week by being the best little nurse.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Week 6
July 12 - July 18, 2010
How far along?
Five full weeks so I'm starting my 6th week.
How big is baby?
By the end of the sixth week, Baby will grow to be the size of a pea.
What am I creating this week?
The baby's face is starting to take shape and the lungs, kidneys and liver are all starting to develop.
How am I feeling?My sleeping schedule is totally fried - I can't sleep well at night for whatever reason and so during the day I crash during the afternoon and if I don't have a proper nap I get pretty cranky. I haven't had any nausea lately but my tummy isn't processing food as fast as I would probably appreciate. I definitely am examining my stomach a lot more frequently than I ever have before. I don't think to the common person I'm showing at all, but I can tell that I'm thicker around the middle. Maybe it's due to the larger amount of food that I'm consuming, but I definitely feel fatter and bigger. I haven't had any weird cravings or aversions to any food. Pretty much anything and everything looks and sounds good to me. Unfortunately, although the majority of the cup tastes good, when I get to the bottom of my ONE single cup of coffee in the morning it makes me gag a bit. I'm really hoping and praying that Baby doesn't take away my joy in the morning. I've already resigned myself to no Starbucks for awhile (at least the really good caffeinated kind) so I hope that I don't have to pack away my Keurig for the next eight months.
What's circulating in my brain?
I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment because Craig is currently in Tennessee for the week, next week I have volleyball camp, then Craig has his big summer basketball tournament and then we leave for Europe August 1st. Two days after we come home we start inservice for the next school year. My goal for this week is to get the trip more or less planned out as far as the itinerary goes and then I can focus on packing and such for the next few weeks. I have accepted the fact that I'm going to have a belly and I feel great about it. I don't worry as much about how I look in a bikini because I know that I'm supposed to get a little bigger at this stage in the game. It's very freeing to know that regardless of my diet or work out regime, I'm going to get bigger so why not just sit back, stop fighting it and enjoy indulging in a late night (at least moderately heathy) snack of crackers and cheese? I'm still anxious about making sure this baby makes it to the "safe" 12 week mark but I definitely feel much more comfortable in the idea of being pregnant. I don't know how to explain it. I'm not walking around the house anymore just in complete awe and shock that I'm pregnant. It's already become a part of my life for the time being and I'm actually already tired of answering the same questions...and I haven't even told that many people!!
How is Craig dealing with the crazy?
Craig witnessed two breakdowns of mythical proportions this weekend - one on Friday and one on Sunday. I told my brother Mike about the baby on Friday night and it was just really emotional because he lives in Maine and misses his family here in Texas like crazy. I think seeing me at the wedding and then hearing the baby news just makes him realize how much he is missing out by living all the way up there in Maine. I cried a lot that night. Last night (Sunday) Craig and I got in a fight over some way that I overreacted and I just cried and cried and cried. I let out every single fear I have about this baby and how I hate not having control over my emotions. It's really hard to sort out WHY I get upset about something. Is it because it's really justified and I actually feel this strongly or is it all just brought on because of the crazy insane amount of hormones that are racing through my body? Either way, Craig handled it like a champ once he realized that I wasn't trying to make his life miserable on purpose. Craig has a pretty good poker face and tries not to let anybody see him nervous, upset or flustered which is exactly how he's approached this pregnancy thus far. I, on the other hand, was instantly scared and nervous the minute we found out we're pregnant and I wanted him to share in that with me. I just kind of felt like I was overreacting by being nervous and I wanted him to say that yes, he was nervous as well...like we're in this totally over our heads...but at least we're together?! Does that make sense? Regardless, he just reiterated that he's totally excited but it's hard for him to really visualize everything because I'm NOT showing (just a little pudgier) and that he'll probably start to get really nervous about two weeks before I'm due. I have a feeling his nerves will show up when he gets handed that baby for the first time...because our baby will be the first baby that he's ever held which I think is really neat. I think that he'll also have a newfound respect for me after I give birth...I don't think he thinks I'm tough. Well, I'll show him.
What's Angie up to?
Angie had a great time on Sunday when we went to a little get-together at my parent's house because she got to run and play with the cousin dogs as well as wear her t-shirt for the big Baby reveal to our close friends and family. She was exhausted and total dead weight for the rest of the night. Right now she's keeping me company because Craig is gone for the week so it's just the girls in the house. We're going to the dog park on Wednesday with my mom and the cousin pups so she can run and get some exercise. I don't think that she's going to be a major problem with the baby - she was around four little ones on Sunday as well as many little ones the week before AND around a one year old today and she does pretty good. She sniffs them out because she's curious but she's not aggressive...if anything she's terrified by them and slightly confused when they start crying. I think she'll be fine.
How far along?
Five full weeks so I'm starting my 6th week.
How big is baby?
By the end of the sixth week, Baby will grow to be the size of a pea.
What am I creating this week?
The baby's face is starting to take shape and the lungs, kidneys and liver are all starting to develop.
How am I feeling?My sleeping schedule is totally fried - I can't sleep well at night for whatever reason and so during the day I crash during the afternoon and if I don't have a proper nap I get pretty cranky. I haven't had any nausea lately but my tummy isn't processing food as fast as I would probably appreciate. I definitely am examining my stomach a lot more frequently than I ever have before. I don't think to the common person I'm showing at all, but I can tell that I'm thicker around the middle. Maybe it's due to the larger amount of food that I'm consuming, but I definitely feel fatter and bigger. I haven't had any weird cravings or aversions to any food. Pretty much anything and everything looks and sounds good to me. Unfortunately, although the majority of the cup tastes good, when I get to the bottom of my ONE single cup of coffee in the morning it makes me gag a bit. I'm really hoping and praying that Baby doesn't take away my joy in the morning. I've already resigned myself to no Starbucks for awhile (at least the really good caffeinated kind) so I hope that I don't have to pack away my Keurig for the next eight months.
What's circulating in my brain?
I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment because Craig is currently in Tennessee for the week, next week I have volleyball camp, then Craig has his big summer basketball tournament and then we leave for Europe August 1st. Two days after we come home we start inservice for the next school year. My goal for this week is to get the trip more or less planned out as far as the itinerary goes and then I can focus on packing and such for the next few weeks. I have accepted the fact that I'm going to have a belly and I feel great about it. I don't worry as much about how I look in a bikini because I know that I'm supposed to get a little bigger at this stage in the game. It's very freeing to know that regardless of my diet or work out regime, I'm going to get bigger so why not just sit back, stop fighting it and enjoy indulging in a late night (at least moderately heathy) snack of crackers and cheese? I'm still anxious about making sure this baby makes it to the "safe" 12 week mark but I definitely feel much more comfortable in the idea of being pregnant. I don't know how to explain it. I'm not walking around the house anymore just in complete awe and shock that I'm pregnant. It's already become a part of my life for the time being and I'm actually already tired of answering the same questions...and I haven't even told that many people!!
How is Craig dealing with the crazy?
Craig witnessed two breakdowns of mythical proportions this weekend - one on Friday and one on Sunday. I told my brother Mike about the baby on Friday night and it was just really emotional because he lives in Maine and misses his family here in Texas like crazy. I think seeing me at the wedding and then hearing the baby news just makes him realize how much he is missing out by living all the way up there in Maine. I cried a lot that night. Last night (Sunday) Craig and I got in a fight over some way that I overreacted and I just cried and cried and cried. I let out every single fear I have about this baby and how I hate not having control over my emotions. It's really hard to sort out WHY I get upset about something. Is it because it's really justified and I actually feel this strongly or is it all just brought on because of the crazy insane amount of hormones that are racing through my body? Either way, Craig handled it like a champ once he realized that I wasn't trying to make his life miserable on purpose. Craig has a pretty good poker face and tries not to let anybody see him nervous, upset or flustered which is exactly how he's approached this pregnancy thus far. I, on the other hand, was instantly scared and nervous the minute we found out we're pregnant and I wanted him to share in that with me. I just kind of felt like I was overreacting by being nervous and I wanted him to say that yes, he was nervous as well...like we're in this totally over our heads...but at least we're together?! Does that make sense? Regardless, he just reiterated that he's totally excited but it's hard for him to really visualize everything because I'm NOT showing (just a little pudgier) and that he'll probably start to get really nervous about two weeks before I'm due. I have a feeling his nerves will show up when he gets handed that baby for the first time...because our baby will be the first baby that he's ever held which I think is really neat. I think that he'll also have a newfound respect for me after I give birth...I don't think he thinks I'm tough. Well, I'll show him.
What's Angie up to?
Angie had a great time on Sunday when we went to a little get-together at my parent's house because she got to run and play with the cousin dogs as well as wear her t-shirt for the big Baby reveal to our close friends and family. She was exhausted and total dead weight for the rest of the night. Right now she's keeping me company because Craig is gone for the week so it's just the girls in the house. We're going to the dog park on Wednesday with my mom and the cousin pups so she can run and get some exercise. I don't think that she's going to be a major problem with the baby - she was around four little ones on Sunday as well as many little ones the week before AND around a one year old today and she does pretty good. She sniffs them out because she's curious but she's not aggressive...if anything she's terrified by them and slightly confused when they start crying. I think she'll be fine.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Week 5
July 5 - July 11, 2010
How far along?
Four full weeks and two days...so I'm starting the fifth week.
How big is baby?
According to my What To Expect app on my iPhone, at four weeks and two days, baby is as big as an orange seed.
What am I creating this week?
The circulatory system with the most basic of hearts - it will only be made up of two channels for the time being. The precursor to the brain and spinal cord is also forming.
How am I feeling?
Overall...pretty good. I know compared to a lot of the horror stories that I've read online I'm not doing that poorly at all. Or maybe the hormones really haven't had time to kick in. I haven't had any really intense sickness - but I have been waking up anywhere from 3:00 am to 6:00 am feeling a little nauseous so I keep rice cakes and water next to my bed as well as a good movie in the DVD player to keep me occupied while I wait for the nausea to pass. I've been tired...not that tired where I'm falling asleep all over the place, but the kind of tired that sits behind your eyes and everytime you blink you wish you could just leave your eyes closed for awhile. Whether it's from the shock of being pregnant or the baby consuming my brain...my thoughts are foggy. I'm having a hard time keeping up with conversations as well as remember where things are and what word I was about to use. I've had a pretty voracious appetite...but isn't that fairly normal? What's not normal is the tears. I cried at the thought of how this baby was going to affect Angie's life. Ridiculous. Hold on Craig...I think the crazy train is about to depart and take you on a pretty intense ride.
What's circulating in my brain?
Sweet Lord Jesus...what ISN'T circulating in my brain? Maybe part of the reason that I've been having problems sleeping is that my already overactive imagination has been in hyper drive covering all aspects of this pregnancy. I'll try to contain the clutter for you:
- Love: Obviously I love this baby already. I remember when I was younger how my mom said that she loved me before she knew me and I couldn't understand that concept. I've been praying for my babies since before Craig and I got married. I know they're up there just waiting to come into our lives and I can't believe that in eight short months I'm going to get to meet the first one.
- Anxiety: This is probably the most prevalent emotion that I feel during the day. I'm anxious at everything that I eat, how hot the water in the bathtub is, and how I move during a volleyball game. I almost burst into tears when I lunged for a pass and then thought "Oh no! Did I knock Baby loose? Should I take a pregnancy test when I get home just to make sure she's still in there?" Yes. These things are actually going through my head. And at the time...it all seems so...rational. I was so anxious about getting pregnant (what if I was Charlotte from SATC and didn't know it all these years?) that I figured once I got pregnant things would be smooth sailing after that. Not even close. There's a whole new arsenal of anxieties waiting for you after you see that X on the pee stick. Now it's about KEEPING me pregnant and making sure that the baby doesn't grow an extra arm from the middle of it's forehead. These are the things that keep me up at night.
- Fear: Sure, a baby is all fun and games when it's a theoretical object and not something that is growing in your body. It's fun to toss around names and imagine taking kids to the zoo, but when there is a specific timeline associated with this baby that is looking you in the face, all those fun things turn into terrors. Are we really prepared for all this? I don't think we really thought this process through. I mean, we love our friends' kids and our nephews but we aren't responsible for turning those precious darlings into productive members of society.
How is Craig dealing with the crazy?
Craig and I had to have a pow wow. Just because I don't LOOK pregnant doesn't mean that I don't FEEL pregnant. I'm not taking a nap because I'm lazy, I'm taking a nap because there is a parasite in my body that is sucking the life out of me. I'm not asking you to go get me cheese and peanut butter crackers at 11:00 at night because I'm lazy and am taking advantage of you. I'm asking you because my above mentioned eyelids are throbbing with exhaustion, and as my friend Beri said...if I could eat and sleep at the same time, I would. So be a dear and fetch me my crackers so I can effectively accomplish my goal. No, his life hasn't changed that much because there isn't something tangible for him to focus on and it's hard to connect over this pregnancy at the moment because EVERYTHING has changed for me. Every decision I make as far as resting, activites, food...is focused on what is best for Baby and because I have ovaries and he doesn't at this point in time I'm the only one that this has happened to. Now don't get me wrong, he is definitely thinking ahead - he has already mentioned setting up a savings account that will morph into a college fund. And his first words when we figured out that the due date would be mid-March? "Oh good. I'll have money from tournaments by then." So Baby will be paid for and will have a nice cozy room to come home to. But right now, as I told him, there really isn't anything we can buy for Baby and therefore he needs to provide for me emotionally for the time being.
What's Angie up to?
Angie got a t-shirt. It says "I'm going to be a BIG sister." It's how I'm announcing Baby to all my friends this summer that frequent my swimming pool. Funny story: My maid-of-honor and all around BFF Amy was on the treacherous journey of peeing on the stick the night of July 4th and when I got a "plus" and then two definitive PREGNANTs. She told her daughter, Emma the flower girl, that Laura was pregnant and Emma groaned "Oh no." Amy asked her why she said that and Emma replied "The dog." Yes, it's true Emma. I'm worried about her too. In fact I cried about it Monday night. How did I do this to my sweet baby girl? I've effectively pushed her to second fiddle thus ruining her life. How could I be so cruel? Again...looking back, are these thoughts rational? Absolutely not, but looking into her big, brown eyes I felt nothing but pure guilt.
How far along?
Four full weeks and two days...so I'm starting the fifth week.
How big is baby?
According to my What To Expect app on my iPhone, at four weeks and two days, baby is as big as an orange seed.
What am I creating this week?
The circulatory system with the most basic of hearts - it will only be made up of two channels for the time being. The precursor to the brain and spinal cord is also forming.
How am I feeling?
Overall...pretty good. I know compared to a lot of the horror stories that I've read online I'm not doing that poorly at all. Or maybe the hormones really haven't had time to kick in. I haven't had any really intense sickness - but I have been waking up anywhere from 3:00 am to 6:00 am feeling a little nauseous so I keep rice cakes and water next to my bed as well as a good movie in the DVD player to keep me occupied while I wait for the nausea to pass. I've been tired...not that tired where I'm falling asleep all over the place, but the kind of tired that sits behind your eyes and everytime you blink you wish you could just leave your eyes closed for awhile. Whether it's from the shock of being pregnant or the baby consuming my brain...my thoughts are foggy. I'm having a hard time keeping up with conversations as well as remember where things are and what word I was about to use. I've had a pretty voracious appetite...but isn't that fairly normal? What's not normal is the tears. I cried at the thought of how this baby was going to affect Angie's life. Ridiculous. Hold on Craig...I think the crazy train is about to depart and take you on a pretty intense ride.
What's circulating in my brain?
Sweet Lord Jesus...what ISN'T circulating in my brain? Maybe part of the reason that I've been having problems sleeping is that my already overactive imagination has been in hyper drive covering all aspects of this pregnancy. I'll try to contain the clutter for you:
- Love: Obviously I love this baby already. I remember when I was younger how my mom said that she loved me before she knew me and I couldn't understand that concept. I've been praying for my babies since before Craig and I got married. I know they're up there just waiting to come into our lives and I can't believe that in eight short months I'm going to get to meet the first one.
- Anxiety: This is probably the most prevalent emotion that I feel during the day. I'm anxious at everything that I eat, how hot the water in the bathtub is, and how I move during a volleyball game. I almost burst into tears when I lunged for a pass and then thought "Oh no! Did I knock Baby loose? Should I take a pregnancy test when I get home just to make sure she's still in there?" Yes. These things are actually going through my head. And at the time...it all seems so...rational. I was so anxious about getting pregnant (what if I was Charlotte from SATC and didn't know it all these years?) that I figured once I got pregnant things would be smooth sailing after that. Not even close. There's a whole new arsenal of anxieties waiting for you after you see that X on the pee stick. Now it's about KEEPING me pregnant and making sure that the baby doesn't grow an extra arm from the middle of it's forehead. These are the things that keep me up at night.
- Fear: Sure, a baby is all fun and games when it's a theoretical object and not something that is growing in your body. It's fun to toss around names and imagine taking kids to the zoo, but when there is a specific timeline associated with this baby that is looking you in the face, all those fun things turn into terrors. Are we really prepared for all this? I don't think we really thought this process through. I mean, we love our friends' kids and our nephews but we aren't responsible for turning those precious darlings into productive members of society.
How is Craig dealing with the crazy?
Craig and I had to have a pow wow. Just because I don't LOOK pregnant doesn't mean that I don't FEEL pregnant. I'm not taking a nap because I'm lazy, I'm taking a nap because there is a parasite in my body that is sucking the life out of me. I'm not asking you to go get me cheese and peanut butter crackers at 11:00 at night because I'm lazy and am taking advantage of you. I'm asking you because my above mentioned eyelids are throbbing with exhaustion, and as my friend Beri said...if I could eat and sleep at the same time, I would. So be a dear and fetch me my crackers so I can effectively accomplish my goal. No, his life hasn't changed that much because there isn't something tangible for him to focus on and it's hard to connect over this pregnancy at the moment because EVERYTHING has changed for me. Every decision I make as far as resting, activites, food...is focused on what is best for Baby and because I have ovaries and he doesn't at this point in time I'm the only one that this has happened to. Now don't get me wrong, he is definitely thinking ahead - he has already mentioned setting up a savings account that will morph into a college fund. And his first words when we figured out that the due date would be mid-March? "Oh good. I'll have money from tournaments by then." So Baby will be paid for and will have a nice cozy room to come home to. But right now, as I told him, there really isn't anything we can buy for Baby and therefore he needs to provide for me emotionally for the time being.
What's Angie up to?
Angie got a t-shirt. It says "I'm going to be a BIG sister." It's how I'm announcing Baby to all my friends this summer that frequent my swimming pool. Funny story: My maid-of-honor and all around BFF Amy was on the treacherous journey of peeing on the stick the night of July 4th and when I got a "plus" and then two definitive PREGNANTs. She told her daughter, Emma the flower girl, that Laura was pregnant and Emma groaned "Oh no." Amy asked her why she said that and Emma replied "The dog." Yes, it's true Emma. I'm worried about her too. In fact I cried about it Monday night. How did I do this to my sweet baby girl? I've effectively pushed her to second fiddle thus ruining her life. How could I be so cruel? Again...looking back, are these thoughts rational? Absolutely not, but looking into her big, brown eyes I felt nothing but pure guilt.
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