I teach middle school. In every school in America there are those students that have learning disabilities and such, that require them to have special modifications in the classroom in order for the student to be successful. The modifications range from a smaller amount of answer choices, to more time to work on a major paper and finally, the most common - preferential seating. These modifications are aimed at helping the struggling student become more successful in and out of the classroom.
I need modifications. For dating.
In order to qualify for special education and modifications, it must be proven that it is the student's disability that is causing them to not be successful. And, as much as some parent's would like to think - laziness is not a disability that is treatable by the special ed department. Proof of a disability first comes in the form of observations from the teacher backed up by physical evidence. Once a group of teachers has this evidence, it goes to a committee that can either recommend the student for special education testing, or decide that the student probably does not have a disability and send them back to the regular education classroom without any modifications. After the student has been sent to testing and a disability is diagnosed, the committee meets again and then decides, based on the disability and the needs of the student, what modifications inside the classroom should be made in order to ensure student success. These modifications are then passed along to the teachers, who are required by law to implement them to the best of their ability inside the classroom.
There...now that you have the basic process down, lets apply this to my dating love life.
1. Observation and physical evidence of a lack of success.
No relationship that I have since college (except for one) has lasted more than 3 months. And not all of these relationships have been with losers - many of them have been with successful and smart men.
2. A committee meeting to decide whether special ed testing is necessary.
I'm beginning to think that my friends and family are rather tired of my endless stream of failed relationships. My brother who particularly liked one of the men that I dated told me at the beginning of the relationship "Don't f*ck this one up." Point taken.
3. Special education testing to determine disability.
I consult http://web.tickle.com
- Are You a Secure Lover: You tend to have mixed feelings about relationships. A part of you may want to have a close, loving relationship, but another part of you may be somewhat uncomfortable with commitment. It's also likely that you are afraid others will let you down or abandon you. Although you tend to be open to relationships, you may not easily reveal the true you, and potential partners are likely to be intrigued about discovering the person you are deep down.
- Why Are You Still Single: You live alone and like it, thanksverymuch. Well, at least some of the time. You prefer coming and going as you please, and you don't like to be controlled or held responsible for someone else's schedule or needs. After all, you probably have plenty of friends, a satisfying career (or other projects to occupy your time), and you may simply not have room for another person right now — unless of course they can bend to meet your routine exactly. Does this sound familiar?
- The Love Personality Test: ISTJ - Being an ISTJ means that you are one cool customer. Although few would describe you as being warm, cuddly, or sentimental, many people likely see you as an important source of support in their lives. That's because when things are chaotic or falling apart, you're the type of person who can be virtually unflappable. ISTJs like you are known for being talented problem solvers. When it comes to your relationships, you usually know how to speak up for yourself so that others know what you want. But that doesn't mean you're rigid or inflexible. In fact, you're quite willing to bend for the right person. They just need to make their case honestly.
- What Are You Looking For In A Relationship: You're ready for an adventurous, free-spirited affair to remember. And if it comes in the form of someone who shakes up your world a bit, helps you expand your horizons, then decides to stay for awhile — all the better. It's not that you don't want a serious relationship. It's just that you might rather get there with someone who's equally committed to having fun for now. Ever wanted to drive up the coast or across your town in a red convertible? Interested in staying at a restaurant so late the chef himself joins you at the table for a late night cappuccino? Or are you really more into a no-strings-attached companion?For some people, a good fling starts with someone you can spend the whole day in bed with — whether you're under the covers or playing cards in your PJs. But for others a fling is just a light-hearted approach to finding a different way to spend quality time with someone new.
4. Analyze the test results
Well, the results seem to be mixed. It doesn't appear that I have any discernable disability with relationships. Maybe it's just that I have high expectations of how I think I should be treated. Maybe it's just that I'm, as much as I would like to think I am, really not ready for that total committed relationship. I think it's obvious that I've put myself out there to love and be loved in return and gotten my heart stepped on pretty badly. I think that it's natural for me to WANT to be more cautious...but that rarely stops me from falling head first.
In the end, I guess it turns out that I really don't need severe modifications for my dating...I need modifications for dealing with exes.