Saturday, August 24, 2013

I Do.

To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

These are the words that Craig and I spoke to each other three and a half years ago in front of family and friends, prompted by the husband of my best friend.  I have no problem admitting that at the time, these vows were just words - the things I had to say in order to sign my marriage license.  It wasn't that I didn't take them seriously, it's that I had the naivete and general blind confidence of a blushing bride and almost newlywed.  I walked down that aisle and said those vows with an air of "no big deal...we GOT this."  

I'm not sure what I thought marriage was going to extension of the fairytale we lived in the months of dating that led up to our wedding?

But here I am.

It's three and a half years later and I'm trying to wrap my brain around that one little sentence we recited to each other on the day of our gorgeous outdoor wedding on a sunny day in March of 2010.

We've done the sickness and health bit.  I had an appendectomy, a c-section and a debilitating bout with Postpartum Depression.  Craig has had multiple knee scopes, a shoulder surgery and his gall bladder removed.  We have figured out how to nurse each other back to health pretty easy.

Then there is the better, worse, richer and poorer part.

That's where we are at right now.

I don't generally write about our marriage very much because, quite frankly...there's not a whole bunch to talk about.  We are generally agreeable with each other.  There aren't any major disagreements or outbursts.  We approach life as a team and rarely do we bicker or fight.

And we're definitely not bickering or fighting right now even though by all accounts, we certainly should be.

But we do have our backs against the wall.  We are the epitome of the old cliche, "between a rock and a hard place."  Tough decisions have been made and although it was the right was a difficult one.

One that affected my husband far more than it did me.

And that's where I'm learning about "for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer" part of marriage.  This is where I'm learning about my realm of control - I can't fight his battles for him, nor is it my job to do so.  But I can be supportive and appreciative.  I can listen when he needs to vent and I can give advice when asked.  I can remind him of the reasons I love him - his loyalty, generosity, sense of humor and dedication.

And of course, those sparkly blue eyes and gorgeous blond curls.

As with everything, this is simply a season in life and it too shall pass.  We will hold steadfastly to each other through this storm and then someday when the seas are calm, we will look back and understand that the storm was instrumental in creating a solid marriage.

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