Friday, June 14, 2013

Staying Settled....For Now

To say that I have an overactive imagination is quite the understatement.

This can be very good since it allows me to explore all opportunities, outcomes and possibilities.  

This can be very bad since it allows me to explore all opportunities, outcomes and possibilities.

So when Craig mentioned a job opening a few miles (okay, an hour drive time) away from where we currently live, my mind started spinning.  I was looking at houses, searching for jobs and imagining a slower, less materialistically driven lifestyle.  I pictured Natalie growing up in a small town with the opportunity to play multiple sports and be involved in all school activities.  I imagined us knowing our neighbors and having barbecues together in a manner similar to a Norman Rockwell painting.  There were visions of relaxation, less commitments and a focus back on each other.

While Craig was merely sending in his resume and thought the whole gig was a crapshoot, I was miles down the road and envisioning ourselves in an entirely new life.

I didn't realize how badly I wanted to get out of here and start fresh in a small town until the possibility was staring me in the face.  I didn't realize how claustrophobic living in our suburb can be until it seemed there might be another option.  Suddenly the planes streaming towards DFW seemed louder and more frequent.  Traffic became more congested and obnoxious than before.  Everything about living in a major metropolitan area seemed amplified....and I realized that I'm ready to turn the volume down.

But it looks like that possibility has blown away in the wind and our lives will remain where we currently reside.

And my heart is a little heavy from that knowledge.

So we'll stay where we are at and there is obviously comfort in the known.  No packing or moving, no change of insurance or doctors, Natalie stays with her beloved Ms. Rebecca and I stay close to my friends and parents.  

But I did give Craig permission to keep looking and keep sending out his information.  And I'll keep praying for not only the opportunities to come available, but that we are ready to take that leap whenever the time comes.  

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