Monday, July 7, 2008

Hate

I hate that in one weekend, you ruined two years of trust.
I hate that I can't believe you when you tell me where you are.
I hate that I question your feelings for me.
I hate when you mention her name.
I hate that you thrust me back into that dark place I thought I had left.
I hate how you made our relationship feel less than adequate.
I hate that I can't ever live up to the relationship you had with her.
I hate that you placed her needs above our relationship.
I hate that I can't look at you the same way.
I hate your dad for what he did to you.
I hate that you underestimated how badly your actions would hurt me.
I hate that you think that just because we talked about the situation, it's resolved.
I hate her for still relying on you.
I hate you for not seeing her unhealthy reliance on you.
I hate that I can't get over the anger.
I hate that I can't forgive you and move on.
I hate that I still want to punish you for what you did.

And I hate that I still love you.

1 comment:

The Evans Family said...

It seems inappropriate for me to comment on this post, but I wanted to make sure I was able to reply to you!! I'm sad by what I've read so far....I'm sad that you are sad. However, it's so good to hear from you!! Thank you so much... we are really enjoying our little one, he's just growing like a weed. I hope you are well... and now I'll keep up with you via blog!!